New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

*erenity80

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *erenity80 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *erenity80 a private message

*erenity80's Ratings
Excellent62%
Average9%
Poor29%
< Prev1234567891011Next > [16 pages, 601 answers]

My mother calls him a waste of space. Why can't my parents accept him, despite all the good things?

Q.   My parents dislike (and I suspect possibly even hate) my boyfriend. Why? I'm 19, and he's 21, he's got a job in IT / computer maintenance, went to uni and is qualified, doesn't drink (except as a social drinker) and spends most of his time outside...

A.   15 October 2011: I remember meeting the parents once, and I felt really critisied by her dad. I was in I.T. and he had spent his life driving coaches and thought people who work in offices were lazy. Thinking back on that relationship, I think a big part of me ... (read in full...)

How important is it to physically fancy someone?

Q.   I'm seeing this guy although i do not have strong feelings towards him either way this is confusing. i dont think im physically attracted to him im not shallow but just not sure hes my type we get on really well and all that but... how importan...

A.   15 October 2011: Spend more time with him and see if he grows you on. Physical attraction is 100% important if you have a healthy sex drive and want a great relationship. I was in a 5 year relationship with a girl once, who despite feeling she was my "soul mat... (read in full...)

How will I not seem clingy if I don't know anyone but him?

Q.   A young man i,ve been seeing has asked me to go with him to cork for the weekend. I want to say yes but all his friends will be there and his sister ( who i think does not like me ) will be there too with her friends. I don't want to be clingy to ...

A.   15 October 2011: This is your chance to show that you will be a great girlfriend. Not only that, you can suss out his friends and his sister. His friends and his relationship with his sis will say a lot about who he is as a guy. Many people are shy in social si... (read in full...)

Are the steroids the reason for him behaving like this?

Q.   My boyfriend told me he was taking anabolic steroids after we had dated for about 4 months. Recently, he never talks to me, treats me like crap. Took back all of his promises he kept to me. I am moving 3 hours away in a few days and he used to ...

A.   14 October 2011: Yes definitely, I have enjoyed steroids in my time but have never used them whilst in a relationship because of the unpredictable nature of stronger emotions; massive highs during the cycle and depression and lows during PCT lasting a few months ... (read in full...)

We both have put on weight and I really don't like my wife's belly fat, should I take the first step in getting fit? Will she follow suit?

Q.   Hi guys, i'm here to ask for help about something is bothering me to much. After my 4 years marriage me and my wife got belly fat. We are not fat, lean, but have it. My wife's belly bothers me to much, even if she's too hot and gorgeous. I keep ...

A.   14 October 2011: Yes defo, take the first step. When you are getting a fitter body, feeling better about yourself and having so much more confidence, your wife will start to feel like she should be joining you. Whatever you do, frame everything positively, as ... (read in full...)

Do men generally avoid a woman who has experienced sexual abuse in her past?

Q.   Hello Everyone. I understand the moment anyone who mentions sexual abuse o/r abuse of any kind screams a red flag, but do men usually avoid women how have experienced abuse? Would you place a stigma on her as being emotionally unstable and avoi...

A.   14 October 2011: It depends on what her attitudes to the past, herself and the future are now. I dated someone in college who suffered some nasty things in her past and those things made her a terrible person, she was useless at relationships and was by all defi... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants to cook for me but he's a terrible cook!

Q.   So this is kind of a silly question but I do need some logical advice on this. My boyfriend is a great guy(the majority of the time). He isn't a cheater, liar, or woman beater so...he's definitely a keeper lol. The problem is...He's a terrib...

A.   14 October 2011: You should just be honest with him, but pass the comment in a playful and lighthearted way. Hopefully he will get the message.... (read in full...)

I feel like we should be working on our sex life even if we're not having sex

Q.   Me and my man been together for 3 1/2 years now and been having sex. Sex went from everyday, down to once every week, down to once every month, and down to 3 months passing no sex and then we decided to not have sex until we are married. We are not ...

A.   14 October 2011: There's something a bit weird going on here. "When we get married he has [to have] a lot of sex to make up for [not having any now]" It doesn't work that way. Is he actually still sexually attracted to you, because it sounds like he isn't. I... (read in full...)

Am I not fulfilling him if he's watching this category of porn?

Q.   Ok here is the deal. My fiance has an obession of black porn. I am asian and average looking women. All I see is ebony categories. There was one porn where he had watched a white guy and a black girl porn. I had confronted him about if he likes ...

A.   14 October 2011: Is he a good boyfriend? If so, then I wouldn't worry about this. He probably just has an innocent fantasy about black girls. This does not mean he actually wants to be with one, or wishes you were black. My girlfriend is Asian and I look at white ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my b/f that I was raped as a teen?

Q.   Should I tell my boyfriend that I was raped when I was in my middle teens? I've worked with this guy for almost four-years, but we just started going out a month ago. He is my first date since I was raped and I feel like I am having difficulty ...

A.   13 October 2011: I don't think you should tell him this early on in the relationship. Most guys, especially at your age, will likely find what you say traumatic themselves and it will take them some time having to "get through it". You might be lucky that your ... (read in full...)

I get too embarrassed to kiss my girlfriend!

Q.   i love my girlfriend and she loves me, but we have been going out for almost two months and we've only kissed once and i cant bring myself to do it. i have veeery little dating experience(one other girl that i never even kissed even though we dated ...

A.   13 October 2011: I used to be exactly the same as you when I was your age. The only answer is that you have to just DO IT. Try not to build it up in your head, remember that you are the one in control and she is waiting for you to make the first move. She WANTS you ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend is not virgin! How do I forgive her?

Q.   i have a relation with a girl since march 2011. after 2 months when she come to know that i love her, she told me that she is not virgin. she cried the whole night and told me that she was force by her ex-boyfriend when she was having a severe ...

A.   13 October 2011: You should learn to distinguish between thinking with your emotions and using your logical brain. The decisions you make in your life will shape your entire future. If you do not "get over" this issue then you will eventually lose her love and... (read in full...)

I thought things would get better once we were married but nothing has changed, what is the way forward for us?

Q.   Hi you all helped in the past with priceless help, now i need you guys again. I married a lady that i was so in love with. This happened 9 weeks ago, now it feels like i been married for 9 years. nothing has changed. Is it me, my way of thi...

A.   12 October 2011: The way forward is talking and communicating.. it is not necessarily about the other person understanding you, it is about you understanding the other person. However some people are just awkward, difficult and not good relationship material... (read in full...)

Am I being too jealous and paranoid?

Q.   Hi, my problem is this my girlfriend of 3 years is making me very uncomfortable with her behaviour. She is texting an ex school friend of hers and has admitted this guy likes her and that if she wasnt with me she would probably go for him. The ...

A.   12 October 2011: I think people mean if you are jealous for no reason it pushes them away. But your girlfriend is carrying on with this other guy because she is more interested in him, than she is you. There are times when taking a back seat and trusting som... (read in full...)

Am I being too jealous and paranoid?

Q.   Hi, my problem is this my girlfriend of 3 years is making me very uncomfortable with her behaviour. She is texting an ex school friend of hers and has admitted this guy likes her and that if she wasnt with me she would probably go for him. The ...

A.   12 October 2011: I would be just as paranoid and jealous as you are. However I think you are responding wrong to this, the more you snoop, and want her to see him less, the more she will distance herself from you and go closer to this other guy. I think you eith... (read in full...)

Does alot of nagging lead to cheating?

Q.   Do all guys cheat? Could a lot of nagging lead him cheating? Long dinstance? or what are some things that may lead a boyfriend to cheat?...

A.   12 October 2011: Imagine if you had a boyfriend who was constantly nagging at you, and then you went out with friends and met someone who showed you positive attention and made you feel good about yourself. Perhaps you would be tempted to cheat? It's not nothing to ... (read in full...)

Why can't I move on from the time we each cheated on the other!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months i am also 26 weeks pregnant with our first child we had a fall out one night and we both ended up sleeping with someone i cant forget the memory of him sleeping with this girl and i never want him...

A.   12 October 2011: What a really bad start you've made of your life so far. I don't know if you ever will be able to get over him being with someone else, you're both simply too young to appreciate what it takes to move on from something like this, to know what love ... (read in full...)

I'm in an open relationship. my friend's brother and I had sex. So why did'nt he reply after our great night?

Q.   My husband and i agreed to an open relationship not too long ago after being married for 6 years. I met my friends brother at a club few days back. He was flirting with me, buying me drinks, dancing with me etc. I told him about my relation...

A.   11 October 2011: I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and suggest that it was your husbands idea to go along with an open relationship. Or it was your idea, because it was the only way you could keep him. I say that because to me, you don't seem like the type... (read in full...)

Is he just using me for sex?

Q.   I know guy for about 11 year we never talk before i though he hated me bout 8weeks ago he gave me is number and we being having sex since dose he like me or is he just using me for sex please help me ...

A.   11 October 2011: Just because you are having a sexual relationship outside of a relationship does not mean that he is "using" you. Why don't you ask him where you stand? You'll never be able to have a proper relationship until you learn how to communicate prop... (read in full...)

How do I cope with the downsides of a FWB relationship? tips please?

Q.   For those of you in a long distance relationship, how do you cope with saying goodbye (til next time)? I normally get a few days with my man every couple weeks but I only got one day this time around and at the risk of sounding like a big, fat ...

A.   11 October 2011: You need your own friends and your own life. This is how you deal better with a long-distance relationship. Your boyfriend is not the sum of who you are. You are more than your relationship. Sitting at home, crying when he is not around is not h... (read in full...)

I went on a training course. Unbeknown to me he went on a trip with his ex. How do I cope with all the turmoil in me over this?

Q.   I feel as if I have somehow lost myself. I am an almost thirty year old woman, and have lived a fairly adventerous life. I have traveled, studied, and most of the things people talk of doing. I have never had a serious relationship unt...

A.   11 October 2011: I don't really know what you are asking, but it sounds like you want to stop being angry, so that you can move forward in the relationship. It's quite right that you feel hurt and angry, he betrayed your trust totally. Even if you can rational... (read in full...)

Is it unreasonable that I'd like sex with her every so often? She's stopped all sex now she is a Christian

Q.   Dear cupid, I am in a relationship with this amazing girl and have been for over a 18 months, when we first dated we were having sex twice a week. This carried on until about 12 months later when she asked if we can stop having sex as she is a ...

A.   11 October 2011: If she thinks sex is wrong, and her religion tells her not to do it, then I think you are a bit stuck. You know you could end up marrying her, and she will still have issues with sex. Maybe you should tell her that you simply can't go from hav... (read in full...)

We have tried many times to have sex but my wife is still a virgin!

Q.   Me and my wife are ready to have sex, she's a virgin. So I try to be gentle, I try, she says her head starts to get pain, and I stop because I don't wanna hurt her. We have tried many times but every time to fail. I have tried many times but my ...

A.   10 October 2011: Have you heard of Vaginismus? Check it out here. Could this be the problem? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus... (read in full...)

We broke up for college but while we were apart she had sex with another guy. Now we are back together I cant deal with this!

Q.   I have been dating my girlfriend for 16 months. We were best friends before we started dating and she was almost my first everything, except for kiss pretty much. I loved her so much but we decided that we should break up for college, and go back to ...

A.   10 October 2011: Girls make decisions on their emotions, at the time she needed company and companionship and added to the fact she was pissed and not thinking straight, she went along with it. You need to accept that girls and guys think differently in this regard, ... (read in full...)

Am I having a mid life crisis? It seems so important to increase the number of woman I have sex with. So would paying for it be a quick solution?

Q.   I am single and am no spring chicken anymore, although Im not exactly geriatric either. In my life I havent really had many girlfriends and can count the number of sexual partners I've had on one hand. Im starting to feel that 'I've missed out...

A.   6 October 2011: I think all men go through these kind of phases where they look at their lives and wonder if they could have achieved more. Your message strikes me that you feel inferior to your friends because you haven't slept with as many people as them? If y... (read in full...)

Nude Pictures. I just did a mistake. Do you guys think my friends would understand me and forgive me?

Q.   hi will i ever find a boyfriend? i did something a year ago its almost two years. i went to a chatting site and i have friends who are gay,bi, etc. and straight a lot. and i was so bored a few days before i took pics with my pc nude. i know i shou...

A.   4 October 2011: Aw you poor thing. It sounds like you had a regrettable experience but the best thing you can do is move on from it and not let anything like it happen again. I think it's best you don't mention this to any future boyfriends, there is no need for ... (read in full...)

Seeing his old messages brought up my insecurities

Q.   Well this morning my boyfriend left me alone in his flat as he went to work. I wanted to watch tv online so I turned it on but before decided to check my fb. As he never usually is logged in I didn't expect it when he was. I then began looking ...

A.   4 October 2011: Lesson learnt. Don't go snooping through his past again and you wont feel this insecure and jealous again.... (read in full...)

Jealous of new girlfriend's wild year!

Q.   Hi, I've never before classed myself as a jealous person at all ever, but then I guess I've never been in a situation that meant I had to be, until now. In December both myself and my new GF separated from our past relationships and we met each ...

A.   4 October 2011: I'm not sure i agree with the anonymous advice that her promicious past made her the person you love today, but anyhow, it is clear you love this girl, and you can also see that you are jealous of her past - that's a big thing when you can admit an ... (read in full...)

I broke up with b/f to make him realize he took me forgranted, but it backfired!

Q.   i don't know what to do... i was in a long distance relationship for almost 5 years, and things were not going well... he's always been insecure, never trusted me enough and i was going through a rough time in my life... i really needed his suppo...

A.   3 October 2011: You can't get over him because you won't allow yourself to get over him. Write him a "good bye" letter. Don't actually give it to him, just write it.. put all your thoughts and feelings.. explain why you have to move on with your life, and wish... (read in full...)

How to get over prostitute guilt, and should I confess in future relationships?

Q.   I started going to strip clubs a year ago with friends who were into it, and towards the end of the year, got into drinking and then going to prostitutes. I went three times, before I couldn't bear the guilt anymore. Since then I have been for ...

A.   3 October 2011: Why are you feeling guilt? You need to stop taking yourself so damn serious! You've wasted 8 months of your life thinking every day about what you've done in the past. That doesn't make any sense to me at all. You used to enjoy escorts, and now ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend finished oral sex rather than stopping so we could have sex!

Q.   last night i gave my boyfriend a blowjob thinking that it was just a starting way for us to have an intimate moment that very same time. but then i was surprised that instead of him getting into the mood, he just blew it all by himself and nothing ...

A.   3 October 2011: You should talk to your boyfriend about this. Was it a once off, or does he always finish without thinking about what you want? The key to a happy relationship is good communication, so talk to your boyfriend about what happened.... (read in full...)

Found out why our sex life has been waning! He's hiding porn!

Q.   ok...so i've been with my boyfriend now for 5 months. we live together and everything was going ok...our sex life is a little low..but oh well....tonight i found out that hes been downloading porn and hiding it from me...i feel like hes cheated on ...

A.   3 October 2011: If you think he is using porn over having sex with you then you need to address this issue. Your relationship isn't going to go anywhere, until you do. It is perfectly normal for people who masturbate whilst in a relationship but the problem ... (read in full...)

I knew my teacher liked me...now he's at another school should I email him?

Q.   So last year I was a junior and there was a certain English teacher/coach I has a crush on. I didnt have him as a teacher because he taught freshman english.He's a very young teacher not much of an age difference. Well last year He had overheard my ...

A.   3 October 2011: Maybe he realised what he was doing was wrong, and that if he pursued you, it could have ruined his life? Maybe he met a girl, someone his own age like another teacher, and is happy in a relationship with her? I don't think you should email him... (read in full...)

How do I get to the bottom of the real reason behind our breakup?

Q.   My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me 2 days ago. We lived together (for 3 years now). I moved out immediatly and now live at my parents. It all started about 2 weeks ago. I told him I felt like he was not really happy to see me (he would no...

A.   3 October 2011: Wow your boyfriend really is a jerk for ending a 5 year relationship so badly!! You really deserve to know the truth, and he should be man enough to give it to you. Obviously this girl has some part in it. He confessed to thinking about her sinc... (read in full...)

Do girls like sweetheart guys?

Q.   Do girls like sweetheart guys? I'm still single and I feel like I can't harm anyone, I would drive my girlfriend home from school or work etc. I would pay for meals, when shes cold I would warm her with a nice hug and might even offer her my jacket. ...

A.   3 October 2011: You say you are "dependable, very nice, loyal, sweet, very smart." This is good, but a pet dog is all those things too. If you want to be more attractive to women, you need to calm down on the emotions and sensitivity. You need to show your mas... (read in full...)

Why would she delete that other guy's comment from her Facebook wall? What could she be up to?

Q.   A girl I met recently added me to Facebook and we had a 2-3 hr conversation on fb. I've met her a couple of times and both times she was very nice and laughed at all my jokes and all that usual stuff. On the second time I met her I even touched her ...

A.   3 October 2011: Do you know that you are facebook stalking this girl? Who really knows why she deleted the comment, and is it really important anyway? You have insecure tendancies and you need to keep them in check if you want to start a relationship with this ... (read in full...)

Is my B/f telling me the truth when he says he calls his ex "darling" more out of habit that feelings for her?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. He was previously married for 20 years and has 2 children from this relationship. We were invited to his daughter's birthday party which I was ok (within reason)to go to. I knew when I got together with ...

A.   3 October 2011: Sounds like your boyfriend acted really respectfully for your feelings and you've still got upset over it. You are asking is he telling the truth. What's the alternative? that he has secret feelings for the ex and is carrying on some kind of secre... (read in full...)

What do you do when a man confronts you for "talking" to his girl?

Q.   Let's say you meet a girl by herself who's nice and attractive. You approach her and strike up a conversation with her. Everything seems to be moving along fine.... Five minutes later, her boyfriend shows up all annoyed and angry, says something l...

A.   3 October 2011:  I think you are overreacting, and are a very anxious person who is seeing things that aren't there. Tell me, if you were at a bar with your girlfriend and you went to the bathroom, and then come back to find someone chatting to her, would you ki... (read in full...)

Why am I treating this girl so badly?

Q.   Please can you help me.I have been with my partner for 2 years she was my soul mate my best friend and my lover, we had planned our life together, and I was going to ask her to marry me. I have had a very difficult 3 months, with work and my health, ...

A.   30 September 2011: Mate you sound like you are wollowing in self-pitty, it's all me me me, I've been ill, I have bad health, I can't work, I'm low. No wonder you don't know how to feel. You need to get yourself on the road to recover ASAP and get back your c... (read in full...)

She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!

Q.   I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...

A.   30 September 2011: "she asked me to only slip it in a small few inches so she would know half of how I felt in her." Your girlfriend is being rediculous, so stop apologising to her. She would have lost her virginity by letting you "slip it in" doesn't she know... (read in full...)

I kissed another man. How do I tell my husband, who has been away for work reasons. Should I tell my husband?

Q.   I kissed a man at a conference a week ago... I've been married for 7 years. My sex drive is WAY higher than my husband and this has been a struggle our whole marriage. Every four to eight weeks on average... And nothing while I was pregnant. I ...

A.   30 September 2011: You say it felt amazing to felt wanted... You feel unwanted, because your husband has a lower sex drive than you. The way you deal with this is better communication. I don't think it means you are not compatible. It means you need to... (read in full...)

*erenity80's friends

These are mutual friends, so *erenity80 has added them and they have added *erenity80!

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntCerberus_Raphael
chaoslove2266 agony auntchaoslove2266
Cho1918 agony auntCho1918
IsabelRed agony auntIsabelRed
Love Mama agony auntLove Mama
loyal girl agony auntloyal girl
Tasmanian devil agony auntTasmanian devil
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.109339500006172!