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*erenity80

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Topic suggestions?

Q.   My boyfriend and i have trouble finding topics to talk about. Do you have any suggestions for me?...

A.   19 May 2011: What about "Is porn acceptable"?... (read in full...)

She refused to shave after eveything I do for her...

Q.   Dear fellow readers, I have found myself stuck in a very fragile situation and I am in need of some serious, thought out advice. I am 16 and have been with my girlfriend for about a year now, and I have hit a brick wall. A few weeks ago I ask her to ...

A.   19 May 2011: Maybe this aint the relationship for you. It sounds like she is pretty young, and you are making her feel uncomfortable. You need to be a good boyfriend, get to know her and find out how she works so you can help her feel confident.. with... (read in full...)

Oral sex during a herpes break out

Q.   So my boyfriend and I recently had sex and he ate me out while I was having a herpes outbreak that I didn't even know about. But anyway I got my herpes from him and he doesn't know yet because im scared to tell him he gave me herpes type 2 .He ...

A.   19 May 2011: If you can't communicate with your boyfriend about such important matters then you are not mature enough to be having sex. You need to sit down and have a grown up conversation about all of this. If he has herpes, then he should be the one takin... (read in full...)

We had sex on our first date and now he's ignoring me

Q.   Hi, well a few months ago I met this guy on a bus and we got talking and it was an instant attraction. I totally fell for him we didn't exchange numbers we added each other on Facebook and I found out he had a girlfriend. I just forgot all about him ...

A.   18 May 2011: I doubt he has any intention to leave his girlfriend, and I doubt he has any respectful feelings for you. He probably fancied having sex with someone much younger than him, and saw the chance at getting some free sex. Sorry to sound harsh but you ... (read in full...)

When a girl stops giving oral does it mean they are no longer into you?

Q.   Hi Just looking for some advice really Ive been with my partner for nearly three years now, things are great except for one aspect. We still have sex regularly, but the oral sex (from her) has gone from frequently to hardly ever- even as...

A.   17 May 2011: Great replies k_100, I am in exactly the same position and very insightful to read your view. I had been thinking, the rest of the relationship is pretty great so I can do without the oral. ... (read in full...)

I got revenge on my cheating gf by cheating myself...but now I feel like a horrible person!!!

Q.   Hey everyone. I'm new here. I'm in a bit of trouble here. I'm 21 and I just cheated on my gf of 3 1/2 years. I feel really quilty now About 1 year ago she cheated on me and didn't feel guilty or anything, and the anger has kept burning in me...

A.   17 May 2011: You feel like a jerk because you acted like one. If you have both cheated on each other then maybe this relationship aint to be. It sounds like it will be better to move on, and learn from these mistakes. I can see why you hated what she d... (read in full...)

Getting emails from the ex's new g/f

Q.   Hello, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a year ago. He was really a kind of insecure guy and very nervous to me. A year later he suddenely contact me and started to talking to me. He may have heard some sad news of my family. At this time he...

A.   17 May 2011: If you feel genuingly worried for your life then keep the emails and contact the police BUT I would say.. the BEST way to deal with this is to just completely ignore them and never reply to anything they send you, no emails, calls, texts, nothing. ... (read in full...)

He wont introduce me to his family, am I getting upset over nothing?

Q.   My boyfriend wont introduce me to his family. I asked him at the weekend why, but he didnt give me an answer. He just said I dont muscle into peoples business so I dont expect people to do the same with me. We have being together for 6 month no...

A.   16 May 2011: Maybe 6 months is not long enough. Some families can be complicated, and it can be a huge step to introduce a partner in to them. If this is the only complaint of the relationship then I would put it down to a difference in belief and just lea... (read in full...)

Taking a one-month long holiday and leaving my daughter with my mother, is it ok for me to do this?

Q.   Dear Agony aunts, Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I have an inner conflicts that is troubling me. Me and my husband are planning a one-month trip to the USA, and i have a two year old which i will leave back home with my mother. Is it ri...

A.   16 May 2011: Only if she has a good relationship with your mother.... (read in full...)

Getting emails from the ex's new g/f

Q.   Hello, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a year ago. He was really a kind of insecure guy and very nervous to me. A year later he suddenely contact me and started to talking to me. He may have heard some sad news of my family. At this time he...

A.   16 May 2011: Yes do nothing. Your ex's insecure girlfriend is not your problem, it's his problem. If you don't want emails from her or him email both of them and tell them to stop involving you in their issues. Tell them you've moved on, and so should they.... (read in full...)

How do I get over the hate I have for his ex?

Q.   Hey(: i'd like to tell you of an ongoing issue i have with one of my boyfriends ex's. She's a true cow, a real evil piece of work and whats more, shes the mother of my boyfriends 3 year old daughter. He's taken her to court, he's tried reasoning ...

A.   16 May 2011:  You say you hate her. Why? It sounds like you could be jealous of her? There is no point to hating her. Your boyfriend is trying getting on with his life.. so why don't you? The best thing you can do is be strong and emotionally together for your... (read in full...)

Do you have to be a "bad boy" for girls to like you?

Q.   This question is for women ,I never had a girlfriend and I'm still looking. But I heard girls like the "bad boys". I'm a sweet heart guy and I do have confidence, faith, and not a pushover. I am responsible and I would protect my girlfriend from ...

A.   15 May 2011: I hate this kind of question, not because it's stupid but because 15 years ago, I was the kind of person who used to wonder the same thing and I wish I knew then what I do now. The fact is, only damaged girls or girls with no experience girls... (read in full...)

Just discovered hes been looking at child pornography!!!!!! I dont know what to do!!?

Q.   i need some help. two days ago i found out my b/f has been looking up porn pictures of young girls on sites and downloading pictures (between the ages of about 8-13). i feel soo angry. i dont know what to do, we've talked about it and he apologised. ...

A.   15 May 2011: You can't "transform" him. You can't make him stop. If he is sexually attracted to children then that's who he is attracted to. There is nothing you can do, to change that. It's like trying to make a gay person be straight, or vice versa. You n... (read in full...)

Alone and single because I'm still a virgin and I'm scared people will find out!

Q.   So i'm 19, and NEVER had a boyfriend. I've only ever kissed 4 guys and thats always been when i'm drunk. I'm getting quite depressed about it really. I have guys who like me alot, but i'm too frigid to do anything about it, i think to myself, right ...

A.   14 May 2011: Are you serious! There is absoluetely nothing wrong with being 19, a virgin and only having kissed 4 guys! Nothing whatsoever. You'll meet the right guy who wants to take the time to get to know you, earn your trust and the rest will all fall in... (read in full...)

Dating him for 4 years but he is flirting with other girls! Why am I not enough?

Q.   I've been dating him off and on for four years. I peeked at his phone hes flirting with other girls and trying to hire hookers. Why arent I good enough? Why is he so verbally abusive? ...

A.   13 May 2011:  You guys need to sit down and discuss where your relationship is going. 4 years down the road it's not uncommon for 2 people to become distant. Having a successful relationship is about good communication and sharing common goals in life and in t... (read in full...)

Advice on how to deal with spouse's emotional affair

Q.   please help im trying so hard to deal with my husbands emotional affair/flirting with a woman at work. we have only been married 17 months and im really trying but im so hurt and upset about it i cant stop the sadness. a few months ago when i was o...

A.   12 May 2011:  If this guy cared about being married to you then he would want to make amends, talk to you why he did this, and try figure out with you how to get past it. But it sounds more like he doesn't care that you've found out, and that he will continu... (read in full...)

I'm an average weight for someone my age, but my legs look awful in leggings and shorts!

Q.   Hello, I am a 17 year old teenager and now that I am older I tend to 'dress up' more than I used to, I normally wear jeans to school, but Leggings are so much comfier than jeans. so I would like to wear them more often. I have a problem though, ...

A.   12 May 2011: My girlfriend is convinced that her legs look awful in leggings but I think she looks hot. I bet you look absolutely fine. You don't want stick insect legs, do you? ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend slept with a guy we work with before me...and it's really bugging me!

Q.   Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 months. She is 7 years older than me and we work for the same company. I heard rumours before we were together that she slept with a guy at our works party. He told people the filthy details a...

A.   12 May 2011:  Getting details off her is just going to make it worse. I think you know that, right? I think considering the circumstances.. in that, you knew she slept with this guy before you even started dating, you don't really have anything you can do. ... (read in full...)

Is he trying to get revenge after I had sex with someone else? Or does he just not care about me?

Q.   I've had a relationship with a guy for about a year and a half now, we have never actually called each other " boyfriend, girlfriend" but when him and I are on good terms, he doesn't mess with other girls and I don't mess with other guys. We have ...

A.   10 May 2011: It sounds like this relationship has run it's course. I can't speak for all guys but personally, if I was in to a girl (however messed up or casual it was) the moment she started sleeping around in my social circle would be the end of any possible ... (read in full...)

How should I let this lovely girl down gently, because I have gotten with my childhood sweetheart?

Q.   I am a 29 year old male, have been a bachelor for the past 3 years, and have previously experienced a long-term cohabiting relationship. When I was 17, I fell for a girl, lets call her Girl A, who lived nearby in my home-town. We dated for 6 mont...

A.   10 May 2011: Good luck!... (read in full...)

How should I let this lovely girl down gently, because I have gotten with my childhood sweetheart?

Q.   I am a 29 year old male, have been a bachelor for the past 3 years, and have previously experienced a long-term cohabiting relationship. When I was 17, I fell for a girl, lets call her Girl A, who lived nearby in my home-town. We dated for 6 mont...

A.   9 May 2011: Your friends are right. Don't tell Girl B about Girl A. The best thing you can do for Girl B is to cut her loose, and although it will seem harsh, just cutting her out of your life (but giving her as much closer as you can, without telling ... (read in full...)

Does everything need to be close to perfect before you propose?

Q.   I am in love with my girlfriend and she says she is in love with me. However, our relationship is not without problems. There are still a few complex issues we are working through with the help of a therapist, some of which are not directly...

A.   9 May 2011: I am in a similar situation to you. I think there is never a perfect time to propose, but that said, you should iron out any fundamentally serious issues before proposing. I guess, if you have found someone who you want to be with, and you know that ... (read in full...)

Guys, do you like tall girls?

Q.   Question for the guys, Do guys prefer a woman to be tall? Not taller than them, but not too short? Why do some guys dislike dating short women? Is is to do with the sex? lol ...

A.   9 May 2011:  Do guys prefer a woman to be tall? Not taller than them, but not too short? Any height the same or shorter than me. Why do some guys dislike dating short women? Is is to do with the sex? lol no, the opposite in fact. My girlfriend ... (read in full...)

I broke up with her over a co-worker but now I want her back!

Q.   Im so bothered right now, I dont even know where to start. I recently had been dating my girlfriend for one year. I met her at work, I had my eyes set on her the first time I set my eyes on her. Now im not an athletic type of guy and def not no ...

A.   9 May 2011: I can understand how you feel, but I can see where you went wrong in this relationship. You seem to be a little too needy and insecure, and this is probably what fucked things up. It sounds like this girl did overstep the boundaries of what is ... (read in full...)

Every time I look at him or try to make love to him, I can't get the images of his past out of my head..

Q.   hey guys. so I'm in my early 20's and so is my husband. we've been through so much to be together. our parents kicked us out when we both decided to get married. he put up with so much from my mother and i put up with so much from his step mom. we ...

A.   9 May 2011: I agree, you should seek some professional help. Why did you go ahead and get married to someone who makes you feel so bad is beyond me. Get that therapy, and work on your marriage and your future together. You both deserve to be happy I am sure.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend might be moving away for University.

Q.   Me and my girlfriend have been going out for four years now and we have a very stable, happy relationship. Last week everything took a bit of a shake, as I found out she had feelings for another guy (not huge feelings... but feelings) and It reall...

A.   9 May 2011: My honest opinion is that relationships rarely make it through university, that's especially true if one person goes off to uni, and the other stays at home. University changes you so much, you meet totally new group of friends and your entire ... (read in full...)

I go to private school, he goes to a public school....but I like him! What should I do?

Q.   can you guys help me? this summer i took a taekwondo class and i met a few people and then there's this guy he keeps looking at me and smilling. and he asked me if he could court me, i honestly like him but there's one problem. he's from public s...

A.   6 May 2011: A boyfriend is someone you want to be with, not who your friends want you to be with. Your friends getting on with him is just an added bonus. It sounds like your friends are a little snobby. Maybe they should give him a chance first, and if th... (read in full...)

Do guys see single mums as easy and desperate?

Q.   Was just wondering what is going on with men these days, would be good to have your thoughts on the following? I'm an attractive, intelligent single mum and have found most of the blokes that I come across just see me as a sex object. I don't dr...

A.   6 May 2011: Maybe if you were young, like a teen. But late 30's or 40's, I think it's irrelevant if you've had kids or not.... (read in full...)

Why is it bad to lose your virginity to a Prostitute?

Q.   I'm a 28 year old male virgin, who has never had a girlfriend. I have asked dozens of women out in my life though I was always rejected. There were plenty of women that I liked but did not approach them because I knew they had boyfriends already. I ...

A.   6 May 2011: My mate lost his virginity to an escort at the age of 26. He did it because he genuingly thought he would never find a girl or relationship. He did meet a girl when he was 27, and they really suit each other and are now in a relation... (read in full...)

My bf still chats with his exes, even though it makes me upset. Am I right in letting this bother me so much?

Q.   Hi, I'm in a troubled spot. I'm dating a great guy and we're perfect except... He still talks to his exes. Once or twice things got slightly inappropriate... with one ex, he made a few comments that were sexual--not directed at them having sex, ...

A.   6 May 2011: If people didn't have ex's in their life it would make current relationships a lot easier. I think whilst you need to accept him for how he is with his ex's (you won't be able to change him) if there has been inappropriate behaviour with any of them ... (read in full...)

Waiting For Sex : Am I Making A Mistake?

Q.   I'm just 22 yr old virgin whose never dated, and would prefer waiting to have sex until around the 6th or 7th month in a (long term) relationship. But it seems most men can only wait for 3 weeks. I actually wanted to wait until marriage, but as I ...

A.   6 May 2011: I don't think it's true that "most men can only wait for 3 weeks." You should continue looking and stick to your morals and values, you'll soon enough find someone who has similar ones to yourself.... (read in full...)

He had an emotional affair, but he wont accept he cheated! How can I make him understand?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months and we get on like a house on fire, I've never felt like this with anyone before, everything just worked. Before christmas he was having a tough time and I supported him best I could not giving him any ...

A.   5 May 2011: When he says he hasn't cheated, does he mean, physically, in that he didn't have sex with her? Whilst you are meaning that he has cheated because he overstepped the boundaries of what is appropriate. Ask him if his behaviour was appropriate ... (read in full...)

Is she cheating again or is the past just making me uneasy?

Q.   My girlfriend and I are at what I consider to be a crossroads in our relationship, either this is going all the way or it needs to end while we're young, we are both the same age, 25, and we just recently got back together after about a year apart ...

A.   5 May 2011: Mate why are you still with this girl? You say she loves you but from all accounts it sounds like she is cheating on you behind your back. You have to challenge her on this suspicious behaviour, but remember that she is likely to lie her way out ... (read in full...)

Promiscuous wife had 40 partners, I have only been with her!

Q.   hi there, i dnt knw where to start but il try my best. My wife was promiscuous in her college days 40men to be exact. After i found out abt her past i asked her abt and told me she had low self esteem, i didnt believe her shes drop dead gorgous what ...

A.   5 May 2011: If she lied about being a virgin to get married, then told you she had slept with 40 guys.. wow, that is some serious deceit. I think you need to decide yourself.. is sex something that important that it means ending the marriage over. I don't th... (read in full...)

I am jealous or judgemental of my girlfriend’s pasts

Q.   Ok here is the problem (I will try and give as much information as possible). I always become judgemental or jealous (or both) of my girlfriends pasts. It has happened with my last 3 girlfriends, especially the last 2. I start of ok but then I ...

A.   3 May 2011: No guy wants to settle down with a girl who they think is a "slut" and there is nothing wrong with finding someone who has similar morals and values to yourself.. however... what you're doing is taking it all way too far. I think you're gonna ne... (read in full...)

Relationship advice......my BF can't forget about my past, plz help!

Q.   Hey! Im just after a little bit of advice, so any would be appreciated :)! I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months, and he wanted to know everything about my past relationships etc, so I told him everything, how many people I had slept with, ...

A.   3 May 2011: With your update I have to agree with the other advice, like Abella's. This guy really does seem like trouble. I think you need to ask yourself, why have you fallen for such a bad guy? You deserve so much better.... (read in full...)

Relationship advice......my BF can't forget about my past, plz help!

Q.   Hey! Im just after a little bit of advice, so any would be appreciated :)! I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months, and he wanted to know everything about my past relationships etc, so I told him everything, how many people I had slept with, ...

A.   2 May 2011: I would say this... be honest with yourself, if this guy really is amazing in every way apart from this issue, and you truely believe he is "the one" then ask him frankly "what do you want me to do, so that you don't feel uncomfortable about my ... (read in full...)

Do you think he had me in mind at all when he started writing such things on his page?

Q.   After a year I finally had to walk away from my boyfriend who I was in love with. He was addicted to weed, verbally abusive and had severe mood swings and manipulated me. He is very spiteful and hurt me so much through the relationship, but I did ...

A.   27 April 2011: If he is spiteful and hurtful then it is likely he could be posting things on facebook knowing full well that you are reading it. You know what, if you get over this guy, stop reading stupid facebook. You are going to look back on the whole th... (read in full...)

I had an online status that said I had been seeing him, and now he wont see me anymore! Please help me understand why....

Q.   hi i've been seeing a guy for 6 weeks we both agreed on just fun with each other. we seen each other once a week which was ok, we had great chat as well and enjoyed each others company. i didnt see him the other night and couldnt get hold of him ...

A.   27 April 2011: If you were just having fun (having casual sex) then it is likely he doesn't see you as a girlfriend, and probably saw what you did as being inappropriate. I would be a bit freaked out as well, to be honest.... (read in full...)

Is my relationship going anywhere?

Q.   i have a few questions about my girlfriend. im a lesbian been with my girlfriend just before xmas and we have commitment rings, her idea but yes i know you should take things slow but it feels like we going to slow sometimes. i only stay at hers ...

A.   27 April 2011: It sounds like you are really down and feeling quite needy and insecure to me. She's right that you've only been together a few months, so maybe it doesn't feel right for her to spend more time with you yet. These early stages in a relationship are ... (read in full...)

Partner drinks and smokes too much and its affecting his health

Q.   My partner who is 42, drinks every night 4 -6 six cans or more. Rarely less. We have been together 2 years and he claims that he has reduced his intake. Perhaps he has, as before we got together he was single for many years and lived an alcohol ...

A.   26 April 2011: I think -unless he decides he wants to change- then you need to accept him and his behaviour for how it is, because he isn't going to change. If you keep bringing it up (even though you're doing it for his own good) it is going to cause a wedge ... (read in full...)

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