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*exie88 agony aunt

*exie88

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*exie88's profile:

I've been on DC for a while now and enjoy reading and answering questions.

Although I do like to help out, I cannot answer questions sent to me via email, due to time restrictions. For the best outcome, I recommend posting your questions on the website for a number of us to answer.

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Why is he doing this?? Does he just want SEX?

Q.   a guy i met on plenty of fish dating site.. we've met in public once he says he wants to come to my house and chill with me cos HE HAS NO MONEY TO TAKE ME OUT. but he drives a very posh car and has a good job. i said i want to go out on d...

A.   19 February 2010: Yeah, that's all he wants. He doesn't want a girlfriend. Take DoubleM's advice...don't even respond. Let this one go...you'll only get confused and hurt if you continue with him. There are better men out there :)... (read in full...)

How do I know if my new date is genuine as he is going away for 3 weeks?

Q.   Okay - I have just met a really great guy. But its all very new and I have only had 3 dates with him. But he seems like a really great guy - very genuine and very sweet and funny. Anyway he did mention that he had to go away for 3 weeks abroad o...

A.   19 February 2010: You have absolutely no way of knowing. Let me give you an example. I went out two times with what I thought was a wonderful guy. He was a gentleman, we had a great time and seemed to have hit if off. He then went away for 4 weeks for work(he'... (read in full...)

I think he doesn't want me because I am not pretty enough

Q.   I think he doesnt want me to be his gf bcz i m not pretty enough! dont i deserve to be loved too? i cry every morning once i wake, i cry to sleep every night. i know i sound foolish but i feel extremely down. fine, i m ugly but dont i deserve t...

A.   18 February 2010: You are not ugly...don't ever think that. He's the idiot that's lost out on something good. I'm not saying this to make you feel better, I really do think that you're too good for him. Good on you for wanting a relationship before you got intimate... (read in full...)

I wish she could show me how much she loves me.

Q.   My fiance told me she doesn't want to be friends with me...if she wanted me as a friend then she wouldn't be with me. I can understand that to a point, but she treats and talks to her friends with more humanity then she gives to me. I know sh...

A.   18 February 2010: When reading your story I could not understand how it is that you 'know' that she loves you. I don't know her and I don't want to judge her, but if everything you've said about her is true, then she doesn't love you. Go back and read what you've ... (read in full...)

He says he doesn't believe in relationships, but I want to be in one with him. What can I do?

Q.   Afraid of relationships but not afraid of commitment. My current lover has a chronic fear of relationships, he believes that every relationship is doomed from the start so why even bother. We've been seeing each other for a year and have been ...

A.   18 February 2010: You can't make him do what he doesn't want to do. So you've been sleeping with him, spending time with him and you're exclusive with him...and this is not a relationship? What is it then? CaringGuy is right...you're just setting yourself up to ge... (read in full...)

Does this guy I met online sound like he likes me?

Q.   i met this guy on a dating site 2months ago..we've txtd and chatted on msn since. my problem is i really like him..even though i dont know him well. this was our last convo on msn earlier today. HIM: can we meet and some point this lifetim...

A.   18 February 2010: Yeah, he likes you but don't get ahead of yourself at this point. You don't know him that well and you don't know how many other women he's been chatting with, so take it slow and have no expectations. The worst thing about online dating is the e... (read in full...)

Is he a little too attached to his dog for him to be this depressed after it died?

Q.   My boyfriend has been depressed for about a month now ever since his dog died, is he a little too attached to his dog for him to be this depressed?...

A.   15 February 2010: No, he's not too attached...he loved his dog. When my cat died I was quite upset for a very long time. She was a big part of my life and my family...she was a family member. He's lost a family member and he's upset. You just need to be there fo... (read in full...)

Why is my boyfriend starting to distance himself, when everything is going well?

Q.   We've been dating for 9 months, so we've pretty much went through almost everything. From him losing interest, being too controlling, and me being sick of putting all the effort into our relationship because i wasn't getting anything back. ...

A.   12 February 2010: When I read your question I got this sense that you're walking on eggshells for this guy...afraid he'll get angry, he won't understand you, etc. Don't do that and don't delay talking to him. When you look at the problems you've had with the rela... (read in full...)

He acts as if nothing matters but law school!!!

Q.   My boyfriend stayed the night at my house last night, and when we got up to leave at the same time this morning--he was going to law school, I was going to work--my car wouldn't start. He acted like it was a huge burden to help me and spent all of ...

A.   11 February 2010: I hope you work things out with your boyfriend. And it's great to hear that you're going to keep the dog, I really commend you for that :) it shows you have a lot of compassion. All the best... (read in full...)

He dumped me for being too prude!

Q.   so my boyfriend of 6 months dumped me for being too prude... he is now all flirty with his ex gf whos a whore...i feel broken so hurt. i feel like apart of me has died. i have delet with break ups before but not one like this. i loved him with all ...

A.   11 February 2010: You need to realize that he did not love you...if he did, he would not have left you for being 'too prude.' He did not appreciate who you really are and things like sex were more important to him. I know how bad you feel now, don't try to sup... (read in full...)

He dumped me for being too prude!

Q.   so my boyfriend of 6 months dumped me for being too prude... he is now all flirty with his ex gf whos a whore...i feel broken so hurt. i feel like apart of me has died. i have delet with break ups before but not one like this. i loved him with all ...

A.   11 February 2010: You need to realize that he did not love you...if he did, he would not have left you for being 'too prude.' He did not appreciate who you really are and things like sex were more important to him. I know how bad you feel now, don't try to sup... (read in full...)

I haven't had sex for ages and my girlfriend is away, My ex comes over tomorrow but I don't want to cheat on my girlfriend... Temptation!!! Help!

Q.   Dear cupid, as i wrote you i had a gf, and we are practically 3 years years together. The past 4 months she lives in other city because of studies. Tomorrow one of my ex comes to my house, and i know we will have sex. But i'm worried about ...

A.   11 February 2010: You 'know' you will have sex...you're already on the path to cheating on your girlfriend, and you don't sound that remorseful. So what if you haven't had sex in 4 months? Is this need for sex more important than a 3 year relationship and a future... (read in full...)

I was only using her for sex... well that was my intention!

Q.   My ex girlfriend just found out I was using her for sex when we were dating. Actually, We never had sex, but we were moving in that direction and I was pushing her. She was attracted to me because I helped her with her problems, and when she wanted ...

A.   11 February 2010: It's quite mature on your part to realize that what you did was probably not what was best for her. I also think that you should at this stage leave her alone...there really is no point in trying to be friends. You might be able to do it, but she ... (read in full...)

He acts as if nothing matters but law school!!!

Q.   My boyfriend stayed the night at my house last night, and when we got up to leave at the same time this morning--he was going to law school, I was going to work--my car wouldn't start. He acted like it was a huge burden to help me and spent all of ...

A.   10 February 2010: Yes, he is very selfish and a tad immature. Why do you put up with this boy? Yes, boy...this is not a man. I was in law school for four years and I didn't act like this. Law school has nothing to do with his behaviour. Maybe is he stressed... (read in full...)

What to do next???

Q.   I met a guy from online and we went to a bar.. the conversation seemed to go well even though i was nervous.. i found him funny and nice.. he bought me a second drink and later said he isn't much of a drinker and if i would like to go somewhere ...

A.   10 February 2010: If you don't want confusion and the endless 'is he really into me' let him call you and ask you out. Let him chase a bit, that way you'll know he's interested and not just taking what he can get. You did not screw anything up, you behaved fine. An... (read in full...)

I feel to dependant on him, it's making me insecure.

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and things are great between us but recently I've realised that I'm too dependent on him. I used to hate school and was the first to take a day off when I wasn't feeling quite 100% but since he came in...

A.   9 February 2010: To become a bit more independent you will have to realize that the world will not end if things with him don't work out. You seem to have put a lot of your own emotional happiness and well-being onto him...and the minute that he's not reassuri... (read in full...)

I bought him a message in a bottle... what should I write?

Q.   My boyfriend is away for college and for valentines day I bought him a message in a bottle that has 3 scrolls inside, any ideas on what to write inside? Like a love letter maybe I don't want to be to lovey dovey. ...

A.   8 February 2010: You should write something that comes from you...from the heart...something that you won't regret putting down on paper in the next few weeks. You can write something silly, or you can tell him how he makes you feel. It all depends on what sor... (read in full...)

I think I'm driving men away due to trust issues from past relationships

Q.   I think I have serious trust issue's with men. Had to serious long term relationships the first being with my son's dad who cheated on me when my son was 3 months old. The next I was with him for 6 years and he was a free loader which I now see at ...

A.   8 February 2010: I think you're also a bit insecure. I mean this in the nicest way possible (I don't know if that's possible). So you have trust issues and that's understandable considering the type of relationships you've had. One thing though that men (and wo... (read in full...)

What could be wrong with my girlfriend?

Q.   the girl i love has been really worried lately... she is worried because she feels like she always need to go to the toilet... she says it feels like she doesnt fully empty out... but a couple days she said her hair started falling like onl...

A.   8 February 2010: It could be a UTI, a urinary tract infection...easily treated if caught early. It could however be many things. The best thing you can do for her is to encourage her to see a doctor, go with her and wait with her in the waiting room if you want... (read in full...)

Do you think I might have a chance of getting back with him?

Q.   i was with my ex for 9 months and we were in love. then we had 1 argument and he called it a day, we hadn't spoken in 8 months and i started talking 2 him on internet. i asked him if he misses me and thinks about me and he said honestly yes, he ...

A.   8 February 2010: Go slow. Why did you really break up? I doubt that one little argument would break up a 9 month relationship...was there more to it? You told him you still loved him...he didn't say a thing...now he has the power and you don't. I don't mean to ... (read in full...)

Should I talk to him on the phone? I have never had a boyfriend before and I don't know what to do!

Q.   i meet this person on the internet he seems sweet he wants to start talking on the phone but i never been in a relationship before a guy never even looked at me that way so i don't know what i should do, what if he doesn't want a relationship and he ...

A.   8 February 2010: How old are you and how old does he say he is? How long have you been chatting online. You can meet some lovely people online but like with everything else, there are people out there who want to hurt you. Do you feel safe giving him your number? ... (read in full...)

What could this stinging pain be?

Q.   I get this stinging pain in my vagina during and after urinating... i googled myself half to death cant find anything... have a gynae appointment in a month.. please help?...

A.   8 February 2010: You might have a UTI (urinary tract infection). It should be ok if you can get it treated very soon. Don't wait for your gyno appointment...you don't want the infection to spread to your kidneys etc. Treat it now. And don't rely on home rem... (read in full...)

How can I make him wait for me until we are married?

Q.   hi i have been dating my bf almost 2 years now n soon he is gonna be my fiancé but the thing is i am virgin and he is not and m sure about his feelings, but he doesn't wanna wait for our weeding. we have been talking about that n he is gonna wait ...

A.   8 February 2010: If he's stuck it out for 2 years, why has he changed his mind now? I think you need to stick to what you believe in...don't buckle under pressure. If he's demanding sex from you or pressuring you to do something which you don't want to do before ... (read in full...)

Do you think he was put off that I didn't want to have sex yet with him?

Q.   I am probably just freaking out for no reason... but I've been so worried today. Long story short - I dated a guy last summer... got too involved too fast (the sex happened after about two weeks)... and as a result, he didn't want anything to do ...

A.   8 February 2010: You did nothing wrong, don't ever think that. And do not ever think you're to blame for not doing something you did not want to do. You've only been seeing this guy for a month now. No matter what your age is, if you're not ready and comforta... (read in full...)

I fancy a work colleague but I'm married and don't know how much longer I can keep this in.

Q.   I dont know what to do, I have fallen head over heals for a a woman at work, she has no boyfriend / husband, but I'm married and have been for nearly 10 years. I've told no one, not even the woman at work about this, but its eating me up like crazy, ...

A.   8 February 2010: You don't want to mess things up at work? That should the least of your worries. How about you don't want to ruin a 10 year marriage? If you follow up on this attraction you will hurt your wife, no doubt about that. You say 'if she knocks me back'... (read in full...)

I love him to pieces, but he treats me like I'm worthless...

Q.   Hi guys, I hope you can give me some insight on how to deal with this. I absolutely adore my boyfriend to pieces, but he's stopped making me feel good. we used to be SO close it was sickening. A year later and hes just... blah! He doesn't ...

A.   8 February 2010: Are you sure this guy is your BF? A BF does not treat his GF this way. Why are you still in this relationship? It really makes no sense. You're not getting what you want so why are you with him? If there's all these problems with him, why the hell... (read in full...)

He cheated, she forgave him, now he is cheating again in a long term serious affair

Q.   A friend of mine caught her husband after he had a weekend fling with a woman he'd met through an intimate encounters website. He said he's made a mistake. They went for counselling. She forgave him. Now she's just found out that since then he has ...

A.   8 February 2010: Your friend needs to walk away from someone who has hurt her and disrespected her. The first time would have been enough for me to walk away but a second? People treat us the way we allow them to. What message do you think she will be sending ... (read in full...)

I'm fine when I'm alone but seeing my ex and his new girlfriend on facebook is killing me!

Q.   Ok so i have a problem, im totally happy until i hear about my ex doing something or read it on facebook. His mom and I are friends on facebook and today she posted that the family and she even mentioned his new girlfriends name were going sledd...

A.   8 February 2010: Argh, I meant to say "He's living his life while you're sitting there and analyzing everything." All the best :)... (read in full...)

I'm fine when I'm alone but seeing my ex and his new girlfriend on facebook is killing me!

Q.   Ok so i have a problem, im totally happy until i hear about my ex doing something or read it on facebook. His mom and I are friends on facebook and today she posted that the family and she even mentioned his new girlfriends name were going sledd...

A.   8 February 2010: I think you're really hung up on this and you're spending so much time and energy thinking about him, and her and you and him and the past and everything. For your own sanity, you need to stop. Who initiated your break-up? Was it him? If it was a... (read in full...)

Jealous - what to do with lack of dating success

Q.   Hi there, I have had some problems recently. My friend has just got into a new relationship with a girl he works with and has known her there for a few years. I am happy for them, however I do feel a little jealous. It was only 2 months or so ago...

A.   7 February 2010: Jealousy is normal, you're like many other people...comparing your situation to someone elses. But try to not do it. Your friend is a different person than you, he has a different life and different experiences. Comparing yourself to him will do you ... (read in full...)

We've been friends for 5 years, he's everything I would want in a guy, but will it work?

Q.   I have been friends with a guy for about 5 years, we don't see each other all the time, probably once or twice a month, but he's almost always the one I call when I get in trouble or need someone to talk to etc. It's quite clear he would like mo...

A.   6 February 2010: All you need to ask yourself is this: When you're 40 years old or whatever later age...how would you feel if 1) you never did anything about this, or 2) you went for it and it didn't work out? If you can't stand the thought of always wondering... (read in full...)

I really like this guy! But how do I approach the subject of going out, I only see him once a week

Q.   I really like this guy, I've been single for quite a while and this guy is the first that I've come across in a good while that I've thought "wow, I REALLY fancy you!" He delivers stuff once a week to my work, and I take in those deliveries...

A.   6 February 2010: Haha, thanks :) Even if you don't see him before v-day you could always make a joke and ask what he got his GF...this one could work for a short while after v-day, so if you see him don't be afraid to ask. The band's a good starting point t... (read in full...)

I really like this guy! But how do I approach the subject of going out, I only see him once a week

Q.   I really like this guy, I've been single for quite a while and this guy is the first that I've come across in a good while that I've thought "wow, I REALLY fancy you!" He delivers stuff once a week to my work, and I take in those deliveries...

A.   6 February 2010: How long do you get to chat to him for? If you have the chance to engage in a conversation, even a short one, next time he comes to your work you could ask him what he's up to next weekend...v-day is on Sun and he might say I'm taking my GF out...to ... (read in full...)

I have a FWB relationship with my best friend, but I want more

Q.   I'm in a FWB relationship. Now let me be honest, it isn't a casual acquaintance, he's my very best friend and we hang out almost daily, call to say goodnight, share a bed etc even when we are not having sex. Recently I've been thinking that un...

A.   6 February 2010: I think that you've come to realize that you deserve more than to be a FWB. When you say "but truth is he can tachnically drop me and run to any girl he feels without consideration for me and that's what bothers me." you are absolutely right. ... (read in full...)

Why is it that a guy can get over a girl so easily but the girl is left feeling like shit for years?

Q.   My ex of three years and I broke up seven months ago due to him cheating. And I'm still completely messed up about it. And yet, he was able to get over me within a few... hours? It's so aggravating and it kills me inside even more! I hate feeling ...

A.   5 February 2010: I might also add that your ego has been bruised...so in the end this might not even be about him...you're upset that someone can treat you like this, that someone didn't see the worth in you, etc. You can't change the way he feels or acts or what ... (read in full...)

Why is it that a guy can get over a girl so easily but the girl is left feeling like shit for years?

Q.   My ex of three years and I broke up seven months ago due to him cheating. And I'm still completely messed up about it. And yet, he was able to get over me within a few... hours? It's so aggravating and it kills me inside even more! I hate feeling ...

A.   5 February 2010: Women tend to be more emotionally involved than men...hence the longer it takes to get over someone. This is a generalization though. You shouldn't hate being a woman...you should think and deal with this like a man. He cheated on you, ... (read in full...)

How long shold I wait for him to get over his last relationship and be ready for a new one with me?

Q.   I like a guy. Who is still getting over his last breakup. It's been affecting him pretty hard. We hang out, we fool around (no sex - his suggestion and we both agree), we have the best time when we're together. He's told me the reason we aren't ...

A.   4 February 2010: I hope you don't take this the wrong way but it's not about not being ready...he's not ready for something with you. Sure, he likes you and likes spending time with you but for some reason he can't give you more. And the fooling around? Even if ... (read in full...)

Why is he blanking me all the time?

Q.   I really like this person , im madly in love with him. We have both admitted how we both like each other but for the past couple weeks everythings been going downhill. We hardly talk to one another and when we get the chance hes always avoiding it. ...

A.   4 February 2010: CaringGuy is right...move on. This man isn't interested anymore and no amount of efforts on your part will make him change his mind. Save your dignity and self-respect and let him go. You don't want someone who doesn't want you.... (read in full...)

If he's not into me why is he talking to me? Help me understand!

Q.   I went out on a blind date 10 days ago. It went pretty well and I think we both had a good time. I've talked to him online almost every day since then. He also asked me to watch a movie with him one night, but I was busy. I had a five night ...

A.   3 February 2010: I agree with Keyshantasy...he may not be that interested anymore. He seems to want to go out but keeps saying maybe and won't give you a definite time. I think the ship may have sailed on this one. On the other hand, he might have other issues going ... (read in full...)

I want to marry her but don't have the nerves to ask!

Q.   I love my girlfriend more than anything else and I want spend the rest of my life with her, but I'm don't have the guts to ask her to marry me even though I'm fairly sure she would say yes. She makes me smile when no one else can she is always t...

A.   3 February 2010: You don't have the guts for a reason. You say that you're fairly sure she'll say yes but I think you can't bring yourself to ask her because a small part of you is afraid that she will say no. Has she given you reason to believe that she would say ... (read in full...)

Girls pester me for sex and I do it to be nice.

Q.   I am an 18 year old guy..I guess I'm kinda attractive..maybe..my only problem is that girls keep pestering me for sex.once a girl told me she would stop disturbing me if we had sex and i agreed so that was it. I am not a sex freak though i 've had ...

A.   1 February 2010: Being nice...please. You're having sex because you want to and because it makes you feel good about yourself. If you don't want to do it, then don't. If you enjoy it then keep doing it. I'd just be careful about STI's and other problems numerous... (read in full...)

If he's not into me why is he talking to me? Help me understand!

Q.   I went out on a blind date 10 days ago. It went pretty well and I think we both had a good time. I've talked to him online almost every day since then. He also asked me to watch a movie with him one night, but I was busy. I had a five night ...

A.   1 February 2010: He's into you...he's asked you out several times already. Once you were busy and the other times he didn't want to be rejected so all he did was ask when you'd get together in hopes you'd say 'I'm free Fri night at 7pm.' Since he keeps talking ... (read in full...)

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