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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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How can I successfully negotiate these sensitive family issues?
Q. What a great site with assistance from people worldwide. Thanks in advance to all who respond...much appreciated. In about a weeks time I am planning to fly to another city to visit my brother and his second wife who have a two year old daughte...
A. 8 August 2016: I don't think you should feel the need to be negotiating anything. They, on the other hand, need to be accepting of your decisions, what ever they are. personally Id be taking are harder line of suggesting they both act their age instead of their ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about getting pregnant if we have sex.
Q. im a 13 year old girl and i need help!! me and my boyfriend both want to have sex but we dont know if we should. We have talked about it before but we cant decide. we have seen eah other naked before and we have fooled around naked a lot. but we d...
A. 7 August 2016: True story...and I live in Australia. In short : A boy 14 and a girl 13 were fooling around. Fooling around lead to CONSENSUAL SEX in other words they BOTH agreed to do it. Parents of the boy walked in and caught them in the act and called the ... (read in full...)
I did lie to her about my age. Do I get my ex girlfriend a birthday present, hoping she'll start talking to me again?
Q. Do I get my ex girlfriend a birthday gift, maybe a book, Starbucks gift card and small flowers with small card attached just saying Happy Birthday from me? Or what would you suggest? I want her back and just even talking again to start. I met this...
A. 7 August 2016: Live and learn and try put this behind you thats the best advice I could give you.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 3 years is lying and hiding things? I don't know what to do about this
Q. Hi, I am with my bf for 3 years. We lived one year together after we decided to continue but living in a different places. When I met him he just came to US and all he had were 2 suitcases full of clothes and documents. I said this because last ...
A. 4 August 2016: Id be taking a piece of that hair to the cops for missing persons DNA cross matching and high tail it out of there. Bizarre stuff.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to not like my boyfriend's very intrusive room mate?
Q. Did I overreact? My fiancé and I have seperate places. He has an apartment with roommates as do I. One of his roommates rubs me the wrong way. She's a girl. One time he invited me over to cook me dinner for a date indoors. As he was preparing our ...
A. 4 August 2016: No, she sounds like a pain in the bum. Whats cool above the whole thing is that your bf thinks so too. You my dear girl have NOTHING to worry about. she will be not much more than a 'remember THAT girl' memory when you guys move in together. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to not like my boyfriend's very intrusive room mate?
Q. Did I overreact? My fiancé and I have seperate places. He has an apartment with roommates as do I. One of his roommates rubs me the wrong way. She's a girl. One time he invited me over to cook me dinner for a date indoors. As he was preparing our ...
A. 4 August 2016: No, she sounds like a pain in the bum. Whats cool above the whole thing is that your bf thinks so too. You my dear girl have NOTHING to worry about. she will be not much more than a 'remember THAT girl' memory when you guys move in together. ... (read in full...)
Is it fair that I don't want my boyfriend to go drinking with his female colleagues?
Q. Hey guys :) so I've boyfriend for 6 years now, we are usually very happy, and we've been living together for 1 year. Neither of us go out drinking a lot (we are both very homely). Well recently boyfriend started a new office job, and his team has...
A. 31 July 2016: I wouldn't like it no because lets face it, intentional or not alcohol and the opposite sex can have one end up saying hindsight is a beautiful thing- but then it's all that bit too late. 20 odd young women and 2 guys..hmmm. certainly does have the ... (read in full...)
Is it OK to steal him from his girl friend?
Q. I fancy my brother's close friend. He's two years older than me but I've known him for years. We've always had a thing many people have said he has a thing for me. He sadly has a gf with a girl I know but I am single now and he's been quite flirty ...
A. 29 July 2016: If things are that bad with her, then it shouldn't be too long before you get your chance. Don't let him be your reason for being that type of woman and that way NO ONE cant point the finger at you for breaking them up-especially her... (read in full...)
My married BF says I worry too much that he is going to be unfaithful to me. Is it all my fault?
Q. Hi. I've been dating a married man for 3 years now. We have incredible sex together and lots of fun. We get along very well and are sexually perfect for each other. I care a lot for him. He cares for me. However, my insecurity issues ...
A. 29 July 2016: Your worried that the married man your having an affair with is going to cheat on you? Is this post even real, this is just all that bit too rich of a question to be answering.... (read in full...)
What are some good tips and ideas to help get started on repairing the trust I broke with my husband when I cheated?
Q. I have cheated on my husband and I told him about it, it broke him completely and he is just hanging on by a thread with what little piece of heart he has left. He feels that our whole marriage of 2 years has been a lie because I broke that vow a...
A. 29 July 2016: Give him WHATEVER it is he needs. Whether it is time, space, FULL DISCLOSURE to his questions, passwords and cut off ALL methods of communication with this OM. Acknowledge his hurt , listen and be accountable for your betrayal and never expect for ... (read in full...)
How can I best manage my (someyimes) desire to cross dress? I
Q. I'll start off by telling you I'm a crossdresser (I think). My life seems to be in a loop where I go through phases of wanting to dress up 24/7 and then phases when I don't even think about clothes or being feminine. I feel really comfortable ...
A. 24 July 2016: if you are intending to stay single why do anything other than what takes your fancy when desire strikes? I guess the issue you face is what to do when you find that special someone. I would imagine it would be difficult to find someone accepting ... (read in full...)
Cheating. How do I respond to this? I really loved this girl, and was going to propose to her
Q. Well me and my gf are both 26 years old and have been with each other for the past 4 years. Met her in my last year of College and have been with her since. We started living together about 3 months of getting together and everything was lovely, ...
A. 24 July 2016: I wouldnt suggest talking to her about it just yet. The moment you do she will deny it and from then on IF there is anything going on be SUPER CAREFUL and there goes a great opportunity to get the proof you need. Hire a private detective if you ... (read in full...)
I need to return an item to my ex, but don't want to see him when I do it because I'm not over him. Is this wrong of me?
Q. I had written in here a few weeks ago. I broke up with the guy who I was dating. Since I do not date much, it's been increasingly difficult to not cry because I got attached. He was super cool, casual about the whole thing. He moved on very ...
A. 24 July 2016: Send them to him... (read in full...)
Why are all the girls wearing shorts that show their butt?
Q. Why are teenage girls and young adults wearing cutoff shorts so short that there cheeks hang out the back ?? I have seen this for most of the summer and is this the new fashion, to show off as much of your bottom as possible ?? I myself wear cut...
A. 24 July 2016: Personally I think that some female music artist and the likes set the benchmark for what young impressionable women choose to wear. Again personally, I think it looks cheap and nasty to be walking around with your arse hanging out. Woman should be ... (read in full...)
Is this stringing him along?
Q. Is it wrong of me to accept help from a guy who was interested in me before? Im not sure if he is still interested or not, I have not spoken to him for two years. Just happened to run into him, and he offered to help me when I mentioned I was in the ...
A. 24 July 2016: No I don't think so either. Two years is a while, but still he could see it as an opportunity for something more or as Honeypie said, or not. Chances are it will rekindle some sort of friendship and it would seem a bit weird to have him help and say ... (read in full...)
Job centre compliance officer meeting. Has anyone else ever been in the same situation? Think the ex may have maliciously tried to undermine me
Q. hi everyone im a single parent to 2 young children i split up with there dad as he was useless and didnt bother with them i received a letter from the dwp to go for a meeting at the local jobcentre in 2 weeks time it was from a compliance office...
A. 23 July 2016: If you have done nothing to breech the rules in which you receive assistance I wouldn't be worried. If there has been false allegations then you will be given the opportunity to clear things up. To be accused without proof it is undue harassment. ... (read in full...)
He likes rough sex, I don't! Am I being unreasonable or is he?
Q. I recently started a relationship with a guy I met 4 months ago. We went out a few times in the last 4 months before deciding we wanted to give a relationship a go. We recently started having sex and it turns out that he is really into rough sex and ...
A. 20 July 2016: What you have is not a bf but a wanker! Thats for the feminist comment. Is he being selfish...hmmm, no I don't think selfish just straight up honest. If that the way he rolls then thats the way he rolls. Are you being selfish, no i say the same ... (read in full...)
How can I find someone else at my age? Why is she ripping my family apart ?
Q. I think my husband of 12 years is having an affair. Myself and my hubby are in the same job but work at different locations. One of our colleagues told me she was concerned about how much help and time he was spending with a client. Anytime s...
A. 20 July 2016: She is playing her part, yes but he's the one you need to direct your anger at. What a fool he is making of himself with such an age difference. What do you want to do, leave, because you ask how do you get a man at your age? If that is something ... (read in full...)
I had a crush on my Teacher while at School. Should I tell him about that crush when we meet for a catchup?.
Q. I had a crush on my Teacher while at School. I recently came across his Facebook page and added him as a friend and we started chatting online. What have I been doing since I left School, (ten years ago). He is in his 50's now and still as han...
A. 20 July 2016: Depends on how things are travelling and what direction they take. He may see the funny side of things or he may not. Cant see the harm myself but I take things light hearted. ... (read in full...)
Recently found out about a fling my Bf had. Is it wrong to want to know these things?
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend had a fling with a girl on holiday not long after we started going out. We had been together for a couple of months, and we were still in the early stages of our relationship. We have been together for 3 y...
A. 20 July 2016: Please, please, please don't torture yourself with thinking if you 'know', all will be better. Trust me it wont. Either way you will punish yourself for his behaviour. Not knowing, will drive you crazy with trying to piece it all together all the ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to move out? I feel trapped!
Q. Hi. My boyfriend of 4 years lost his job and he had no money and nowhere to go so I said he could stay with me while he sorted himself out. He got a job a year ago and is still living with me and not paying for anything except food because he pays ...
A. 19 July 2016: Yeah well he might not ask you what you do with your money but when he's freeloading and taking the piss of your kind nature you have every right to ask wtf. Money out of your pocket to pay his way is money in his pocket that his ex wife gets off ... (read in full...)
Previously I messed up. What should I do differently this time?
Q. Hello. My story is pretty simple. I messed up. Bad. I was with my woman for 6+ years, since we were sophomores in high school. Truth be told I cheated on her. Why? For the longest time I felt like I didn't matter. Like even the littlest things ...
A. 19 July 2016: Could be wrong, but it sounds to me she has taken you back because you are obviously 'worth' the effort of some ow affections. I mean you weren't worth much to her as she told you, so again it sounds more like " I'll show you bitch' Its amazing ... (read in full...)
This girl keeps texting and ringing my boyfriend, what should we do?
Q. There's this girl who keeps ringing and texting my boyfriend. She rings him like 5 times a day no joke! But my boyfriend doesn't answer, she sent him a message the other day saying how they are meant to be friends and how friends don't ignore each ...
A. 19 July 2016: It needs to come from him. Be polite but frank. Something like " Im too invested in my relationship and have no room or desire for making new friendships outside of that " wish her well and never respond again. Good luck... (read in full...)
Would sending flowers be the right way to get the attention of a beautiful woman I met while working as a contractor at her workplace?
Q. So I work in a variety of places as I am a contractor and last week in my workplace I met the most beautiful woman. We got on well and I think there was a connection and mutual attraction there. As it would have been unprofessional d...
A. 18 July 2016: Nope. I would be chuffed if some cute guy did that to me. Even if I wasn't interested or had a bf I still would be flattered. If it were me I'd keep it a simple selection. No roses etc, that is all that bit too lovey dovey. Instead something ... (read in full...)
Are the scratches on my boyfriend's chest consistent with cheating?
Q. Hello everyone. I am having a hard time with a situation I am in. I have nobody to turn to so I am hoping I can get some good advice here. My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. He and I were together a couple of days a...
A. 17 July 2016: Yes well my ex swore black and blue he was faith full to me too. turns out the only thing he was full of was 'shit'. But my proof ended up being hard proof. Unfortunately scratches is just suspicion, warranted,yes but not enough alone I don't think. ... (read in full...)
A real dilemma......
Q. Many of you know me for my brilliant advice on this site.... HOWEVER, I now have an enigma of my own.... for which I'd like to ask others their opinion. To wit: If there are two people who are being intimate.... and they have no in...
A. 17 July 2016: Hmm an odd but interesting question. Obviously pre marital is sex before marriage but if there is no intent then I guess it should be simply labeled 'sex' or as I prefer 'living in sin'... (read in full...)
I don't want to let go of someone I love but my husband keeps on responding to this girl on line. What can I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I have been with this man a total of 7 years married for 3 and he unfortunately feel in a web web of lies with one of his friends from another country.. And he sent her inappropriate messages and a video of him self " releaving...
A. 17 July 2016: well if this aint a swift dose of karma I don't know what is BUT what this woman is doing, I would think, constitutes "porn revenge" and thats illegal and so is blackmail. Personally I think your hubby should be taking what evidence of her threats ... (read in full...)
How would you handle seeing this woman?
Q. Hello I asked this question not very long ago http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-bear-this-deep-hurt.html Thank you again to those who replied you did help a great deal. I have just another question to ask and that should be my fair s...
A. 15 July 2016: Personally I would be keeping an eye on his and her interaction and hopefully he is sensible enough to not bother with her, however you make yourself as gorgeous as you possibly can and 'IF' you cross paths be polite and brief. Other than that I ... (read in full...)
I can't rely on friends. Should I accept the offer of a work colleague to take me home from hospital after my surgery?
Q. I have to have surgery soon, and will be going home that day, im told i need someone to take me home but i have noone? Its day surgery and i must be driven home Im all alone with no family or reliable friends, friends are busy and wont care ...
A. 12 July 2016: Have you enquired if there is a 'lift' service run by volunteers of the hospital? In my country they do. If not and you really are stuck I cant see why you cant take this lady up on her kind offer. Hope all goes well with your surgery too... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's assistant is inappropriate! How do I get him to set boundaries?
Q. My boyfriend has a new assistant of 3 months. She is too comfortable around him and especially in our home. He invited her to hang out with our friends and she made a very bad first impression. She starts smoking weed, talking about how she deals, ...
A. 11 July 2016: shouldn't be treated like a frat house.Not should ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's assistant is inappropriate! How do I get him to set boundaries?
Q. My boyfriend has a new assistant of 3 months. She is too comfortable around him and especially in our home. He invited her to hang out with our friends and she made a very bad first impression. She starts smoking weed, talking about how she deals, ...
A. 11 July 2016: You don't need to compromise when it comes to your home and should be treated like its a frat house. If you don't want her there he needs to stop inviting her. You dont just go into someone bedroom FFS- Do it enough and she should get the message. ... (read in full...)
I met somebody new, but in the past I had sex with his relative
Q. I recently met someone and we had an instant connection, although I have no idea where this will go as there is a distance factor. The problem is the guilt I'm having about something that happened between myself and this man's relative several ...
A. 10 July 2016: Id first wait to see how things progress before saying anything. When you know its heading that way, I'd be open and honest without making a big deal of it. Just as a courteous not because you feel as though you have done something wrong-You ... (read in full...)
Saw 6 Condoms in His Travelling Bag
Q. Please my big brother and sister in the house, Am married for two years now, we have a daughter. Recently my husband job entailed him travelling a lot. He was travelling today and he took six condoms,he ought to be away for 6 days. I saw it in his ...
A. 10 July 2016: Well it's 50/50. You either do believe him or you dont.I highly doubt that his boss would ask him to do such a thing. Why would a grown man ask another grown man to supply him with condoms? And exactly six, is he that confident he will pick up and ... (read in full...)
Am I going crazy? Should I embrace that he wanted that type of video from me?
Q. I'm 34 weeks pregnant. My baby's dad and I just got back together today.. We've been apart officially for only 3 weeks. In that time, he hung with an ex girlfriend, took her on a boat and beach, and to a theme park. They kissed but claimed he d...
A. 9 July 2016: Boat,beach, theme park and a pash with an ex-and no sex? i'd be doing an STI test before anything else. Should you embrace his request, no too many victims of revenge porn.... (read in full...)
He called me nasty names. No apology. We broke up. What should I do, in the circumstances?
Q. Hi there everybody I recently had the biggest argument with my now ex boyfriend. It all started because it took him 7 hours to reply to my text Anyway after 2 days of arguing over text he tells me I'm a heartless gutless liar. I did not e...
A. 9 July 2016: "only an ugly person would say that" are you sure he didn't mean ugly as in 'mean' in response to your txt?... (read in full...)
Lies are taking me to the edge
Q. I've been a single mother to my 6 year old since she was 3 months old. Her dad walked out on us, and even though I tried to get him to see her, he pretended like she didn't exist. We were both 18 when she was born, and we had been together for ...
A. 9 July 2016: All Id be posting to her on fb would be the legal definition of what slander is, ending with " Messages screenshot and keep for my records" ... (read in full...)
I do not want us to split up but how can the issues we have be resolved?
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now the problem is he has no sex drive whatsoever I'm lucky if it happens once a week at first it wasn't great but was more regular than now he always stares at other women He tells me he likes blondes who ...
A. 9 July 2016: First thing that comes to mind is PORN or too much perhaps. Time and time again I have read how porn addiction has become the virtual other woman slowly replacing the real one. So I would maybe start to investigate there. Second, there is the ... (read in full...)
Should I wish my ex happy birthday?
Q. My ex and I dated briefly for four months and broke up two months ago. His birthday is tomorrow and I would love to wish him happy birthday. He broke up with me saying he no longer felt chemistry, and I no longer have feelings for him as well. I ...
A. 8 July 2016: Kinda random, especially after deleting him. It might not be, but it comes off looking as an excuse to rekindle something which if he is not interested ,or responsive,leaves you looking like a dill.... (read in full...)
Is a relationship possible with this age gap?
Q. Ive been seeing a guy for a while now and I am realy into him and he says he is realy into me. Im 17 and he is 29. He dosnt want to hold me back and has said I can back out at any time and that he dosnt want to be selfish. It is my first proper ...
A. 8 July 2016: Sorry but no, I personally don't think it will work out in the long run. Lets face it, it is a rather big gap and at very different stages in life. How can one catch up to him without loosing too much of what lies ahead as you progress into ... (read in full...)
Should I give in to demands for anal?
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend has been bringing up sex up the butt. I feel like I don't please him enough because he keeps trying to convince me about this, but I'm clearly offended that I'm not enough. Am I over reacting and taking it personally, or ...
A. 8 July 2016: No, you shouldn't surrender yourself for the sake of him pressuring you. That would make you just a piece of meat. Buy him an arse sex toy from sex shop... (read in full...)
His new girlfirend 'hates' me
Q. What should I do if my old best friend who I had a massive crush on, now has a new girlfriend? Our 'breakup' was pretty messy and his girlfriend hates me as does all his friends and her friends. I try to be nice but that is me 'trying to be her ...
A. 8 July 2016: My ex did this, my ex said that ! Young or old the "EX" doesn't always paint a fair or accurate picture to the new gf or bf. Otherwise if it was all hunky dory wouldn't' they still me together?Bad mouthing an ex can make a new partner feel more ... (read in full...)
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