She'll want sex. How can I show her she is worth more than that?
Q. okay um, where to start... well i've known this girl for about 6 years (we'll call her Chloe) and i've liked her for a good while now. i'd love to have a relationship with her; the problem is she has a reputation for sleeping around and i'm still a ...
A. 11 July 2011: That's great, good to hear that your decision to post on this site was useful for you :)... (read in full...)
What to do about decietful wife
Q. Hi, i hope you guys can help me out. My wife of 5 years has broken my heart with her deciet, when we first started dating she new everything about me, how i wanted to marry a virgin woman with a good personality,kind at heart and honest. I told her ...
A. 21 April 2011: When you started dating, you put your wife in a no win situation. It was either she tell the truth and you dump her because she doesn't meet your requirements, or she can keep you but has to lie to you to do it. She must have liked you, or loved ... (read in full...)
Could 2 virgins get an STD?
Q. Hey everyone. I had a quick question. If two virgins have sex with each other for the first time and they have oral sex and all these other sexual stuff, is there any way you can get an STD? Me and my bf are both virgins and have never done anything ...
A. 19 April 2011: A virgin can have an std if they have engaged in other sexual activities other than penetration, which has resulted in the transmission of an infection. STD's can also be transmitted in non-sexual ways, for example AIDS can be transmitted via blood, ... (read in full...)
After 14 years, she would rather be engaged than married
Q. My (common-law) wife and I have been together 14 years. Although I gave her an engaement ring 12 years ago, we never actually got married. We used to say we got along too well to be married, and had the attitude that if it wasn't broken, why fix it. ...
A. 18 April 2011: She is starting to feel like she wants to be a bit more of a "free spirit", which leads to a little bit of insecurity on your part, which leads to you suggesting that you get married.....
One of the challenges of life is balancing the need for... (read in full...)
My 12 year cousin may be abusing her brother, what can I do, I am 14??
Q. Please help this scenario isnt just wierd but im so conserned. well i have a cousin who is 12 years old ill call her Kim (not her real name.) My auntie got with her dad about 3 years ago and they are now married and she had a son with him who is now ...
A. 14 April 2011: This is a situation that the adults involved need to be taking responsibility for, and it sounds like they are not taking enough responsibility and action. You should not have to be in the situation you are in, in an environment where you are ... (read in full...)
How Much of My Own Beliefs and Opinions Should Enter DearCupidAnswers?
Q. I've noticed that in some of my answers to questions on this site, I have allowed my personal beliefs to color my opinions. So my question is, is that wrong? It seems nearly impossible to take my whole self out of the equation, but what level i...
A. 12 April 2011: Interesting question about subjectivity. You can give perspectives, or opinions. Opinions are less helpful to people, but remember, this is an free online forum, so it is not a question of right or wrong, and there is nothing stopping you fro... (read in full...)
I messed up but what can I do to get him back?
Q. Well my boyfriend has always been a big flirt and one day him and my bestestfriend were flirting with eachother even the people around us noticed and i felt embarrased because i didnt do nun about it ,it was constanly happening all the time non stop ...
A. 12 April 2011: In what way have you changed so that your boyfriend can now trust you and have a reason to take you back? Do you even have a good understanding why you cheated, and how your behaviour is related to his behaviour? You probably don't. You sound... (read in full...)
Can one really fall in love at 15?
Q. Hello! Apparently, this time I wanted to consult the experts if it is normal to start falling in love at the tender age of 15? One of my good friends, Jen, said that she had this......for a boy.......I personally find it weird and my mom and grandma ...
A. 12 April 2011: Deep feelings of love can be experienced at any age really, though romantic love usually kicks in any time from puberty. Remember, Romeo and Juliet from Shakespeare's famous play were young teenagers around that age :)... (read in full...)
She'll want sex. How can I show her she is worth more than that?
Q. okay um, where to start... well i've known this girl for about 6 years (we'll call her Chloe) and i've liked her for a good while now. i'd love to have a relationship with her; the problem is she has a reputation for sleeping around and i'm still a ...
A. 12 April 2011: You should speak your feelings. Learning to take the risk and speak your feelings is one of the challenges of life and learning this is part of what you need to learn to make the transision from being a teenager to becoming an adult. Pity there are ... (read in full...)
I feel as though I've been cheated on and just don't know what to do
Q. My husband and I have been married for a year and our relationship, sex life was great or so I thought. I recently went out of town with some girlfriends and left a book of sexy pictures of myself out for him to enjoy while I was gone. When I came ...
A. 12 April 2011: I think most of what is going on is pretty normal, both in his behaviour and yours. I will look at them separately. Masturbation is the one area in which people who are in monogamous relationships can explore and express their sexual fantasies... (read in full...)
I have never approached a woman in my life... am I a failure as a man?
Q. I have never approached a woman in my life... am I a failure as a man? I have had three significant relationships in my life. One isn't a great example because it happened over the internet, but the two others happened whenever I was approached i...
A. 11 April 2011: A couple of things can help. The first is building up your confidence, which is different from putting on a more confident swaggar, it means actually likeing the part of you that you don't like, such as your attractiveness, self belief, ability to ... (read in full...)
He said he wanted to be seduced, but that's not working either. Our sex life is dead. Please help!
Q. I've been dating this lovely man for around 9 months, and have been sleeping with him for a year. The problem is, our sex life seems to have completely died - just before Christmas. We've only had sex once since the end of January. He keeps telli...
A. 11 April 2011: This guy is insecure sexually, or he is scared of intimacy. When he starts to get close to someone and has to face it, and especially when he is under pressure in other parts of his life, it becomes easier to direct his anxiety elsewhere. In his ... (read in full...)
How can I help someone when I'm so shy and don't speak?
Q. Hi, I think one thing holds me back in life, from being myself, and that is I am painfully shy. I am acutly aware of how awkward I am in many social situations, any involving people I do not know, always in groups, even with my best friends,...
A. 8 April 2011: It sounds to me like you are affected by anxiety, and that you may not know that you are affected by anxiety. I may be wrong that you do not know, as you mention that you have an interest in becoming a therapist, so you may have undergone your own ... (read in full...)
Why is Hardcore Porn so popular and why do people defend it so fiercely?
Q. Why do men get off on watching women being so obviously humiliated and abused in hardcore porn? For whatever reason the women are made to look as if they are being violated and taken violently for pleasure purposes of those watching.... I just re...
A. 6 April 2011: @ person12345 I agree with much of what you say, but I think it is useful to make a distinction between that which is fantasy and that which is not. It is also important to distinguish from which viewpoint. Failing to do this means you and ot... (read in full...)
Is it right to bring a baby into the world when the father is a herion addict?
Q. Hi, I've just found out I'm pregnant with my first baby The baby wasn't planned but my husband and I have been married for two years and I have openly wanted kids.... anyway... there's one small problem... my husband is a heroin addict... it all...
A. 6 April 2011: The question of whether it is right or wrong is a question of perspective, so you can argue for either side which is kind of arbitrary, but really in a sense its not the right question. This would be a logical question to ask if you were not yet ... (read in full...)
He burned me. I've done everything I can to get over it, but it still hurts. Please help.
Q. I met a guy at work last year. We had a thing, for a few months, until I started to listen to the voice in my head about how he seemed to good to be true and yet always unavailable when I needed him. Surprise he's engaged to his gf of 8 years. I ...
A. 1 April 2011: Your depression might be a result of being in this situation and not being able to speak your mind, express yourself and your feelings, and be true to yourself. I don't know if you have had an opportunity to express yourself about the relationship ... (read in full...)
Being a single mom is hard...Is it bad to wish it hadn't happened?
Q. Is it bad to wish for things not to happen? I wish I had never met a man, so I wouldn't have been in position of being knocked up. Being a "single mom" was not in my plans. If my child screams, I scream. I have no support system. My child is with...
A. 1 April 2011: There are many factors that you are having to struggle against. You may be suffering pre or post natal depression which is biological. You may be suffering depression from not having any family or friends, not only to support you, but also to uplift ... (read in full...)
My longtime boyfriend is now married to someone else, I'm happy in my own life, yet he tries to pursue a friendship with me only to hurt me...
Q. I met a guy at college when I was 19, we were each others first relationship and we continued to date on-off for 4 years. It became apparent after about a year that his cultural/religious background would not allow us to remain together and that...
A. 1 April 2011: I have been through the process of having a long term relationship, breaking up, and after a time reconnecting as friends and having a very close loving friendship. In my experience, that is the exception to the rule, many people will go so far as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend who was arrested for domestic violence against me says he is changing. Can I believe him?
Q. I had my boyfriend arrested for domestic violence after he pushed me while he was drunk. We have a no contact order until his court date at the end of April. We also have a 2 year old son. Although he is not supposed to contact me or our son, he p...
A. 1 April 2011: It is tricky - on the one hand he has shown that he is serious about trying to overcome alcoholism by being sober for a year. That's not an easy thing to do, it takes a lot of guts and effort to do that. On the other hand, when the going gets tough ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend stopped getting me little presents...am I right to be upset about this?
Q. hey everyone. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. At the start of the relationship he was so lovey dovey, would send me cute msgs and all those things, but now it seems like he thinks he doesn't need to do all that stuff anymo...
A. 1 April 2011: I like to buy presents for people when they least expect it, so they really appreciate it, like its a total surprise. If you keep telling him what you want and when you want it, he might feel there is nothing special in getting it for you, it just ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend who was arrested for domestic violence against me says he is changing. Can I believe him?
Q. I had my boyfriend arrested for domestic violence after he pushed me while he was drunk. We have a no contact order until his court date at the end of April. We also have a 2 year old son. Although he is not supposed to contact me or our son, he p...
A. 1 April 2011: Whether he can change is one thing, and yes I do believe people can change. More important is, how can you be sure he has changed, and are you prepared to take the risk to take him back. Words are meaningless it is actions that count. Also, las... (read in full...)
My husband cheated on me several times,the girls confirm it,but I need to know how to take it from there..
Q. My husband and have been together 6 years, married for 5.We have 3 children. About 2 months ago I call him while he was out with his friends and instead of pushing end on the cell he push talk. I heard him getting it on with a girl while his 1 month ...
A. 31 March 2011: You don't need any more information. You already know everything you need to know. You know that your husband is cheating on you, that he can't be trusted, that he is keeping all kinds of information, and that he has been abusive towards you by ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my husband that his friend is in love with me?
Q. Hello! I been married for 7 years!! We also have the same friends... Last weekend we went to a party with our friends, after the party we got home and went to sleep. About 1am I had a text msg from my husbands friend and it said "I need to talk to ...
A. 30 March 2011: I think it is important that your husband knows. I think it is also important that you don't keep secrets from your husband. What happens when this friend decides to clear his conscience and tell your husband, and then your husband comes to you and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is stessed out and busy, I have to beg for sex, and his good looking team mate is flirting with me...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend Eric for four years, and we've been living together for over two of those years. We've been good friends since the ninth grade (we're both 27 now), and we share a lot of the same friends. He's a really great guy; he ...
A. 29 March 2011: You sound like you have things quite clearly in your head. I agree that the intensity of the crush you have developed is a result of the things you are missing in your relationship. You need to make a choice, not whether your want to be with Eric or ... (read in full...)
Married 4 years and we have never had sex
Q. i have been married for four years but have not had intercourse with my husband. he is little shy n in the beginning never took an initiative but he masturbates on regular basis. he even refuses to see a doctor. with much pressure from my end we ...
A. 29 March 2011: There could be a lot of reasons for this. He could be nervous, ashamed of sex, have a fear of being a failure sexually or as a partner. Ask him what he thinks you should do about it. Tell him you don't want to leave him, but that if he doesn't want ... (read in full...)
Is the first kiss always the best?
Q. Not so much a question as I need peoples opinions. Okay, first kisses. The first kiss you have with someone, is that always the best? With my boyfriend, the first kiss had so much build up. And when it happened, my belly was literally doing ...
A. 29 March 2011: The butterflies come from a great combination of being nervous and excited, anticipation, fear, stimulation, lots of things! A lot of those feelings come up because it is your first time, and it is so new. After you have been kissing for a few ... (read in full...)
He doesn't deserve my trust or faith but is love worth the gamble?
Q. This is a bit long because I feel like I should explain everything. I met this guy randomly on a night out. I was feeling a bit down cos my little sister had recently moved in with her boyfriend leaving me the only one in the family single (e...
A. 29 March 2011: In your case, you don't need to gamble. Ask to see his divorce papers. See what he has submitted, ask him to show you some emails he has sent to a divorce lawyer, anything which will show that he is being honest, and taking his divorce seriously. If ... (read in full...)
After hiding it for 2 years, my brother finds out I'm dating his friend and hes not happy about it!
Q. Help!!! I've gotten myself in a bad situation. I've been talking to my big brothers friend for three years behind my brothers back. It wasent supposed to last this long we just planned on having a one night stand but things didn't happen that way we ...
A. 29 March 2011: You have this idea that because the guy you like is a friend of your brother, you can't go out with him. Have you stopped to think about why? That is, why do you feel bad about it, and why do you have this idea that it is a bad thing? What will ... (read in full...)
How do I get through to my neighbor that her hens are ruining the neighborhood?
Q. My neighbor has free range hens which she rescues from battery farms. While this is commendable, they are also an unmitigated nuisance as she allows them to roam where they like including our gardens!!! There are now about 30 and she keeps adding to ...
A. 28 March 2011: If it were me in this position, every time a chicken came onto my property, I would catch it, cook it and eat it. And invite the neighbour to dinner. I LOVE chicken :) That's probably not a good solution to the problem though..... The best pat... (read in full...)
Online dating. 17 year older woman. how to come around the hurddle of special friendship for sex?
Q. hi everyone, I have communicating with an acquarius woman for more than 3 months now.I am 23 and she is 40. Despite the age difference we have talked about everything. Her life, marriage, children, her passion, dreams, EVERYTHING!! Same with m...
A. 24 March 2011: From time to time you can keep letting her know that you want to meet with her in person, and that you are interested in having sex with her, but its up to her if she decides that she feels the same as you, or doesn't.
The way for you to "convinc... (read in full...)
Husband and I are fighting, he's masturbating, (no, not while we're fighting), now we're not talking...is divorce inevitable?
Q. hi. my spouse and i are in our late twenties and have very busy and high demanding careers. we married about 7 months ago but have been together for 3+ years. over the past month, we've fought constantly. over everything. mainly because there's not ...
A. 24 March 2011: First of all, you are both suffering the consequence of living in a society which promotes busy, demanding careers, and not having enough time for one another. When you do have the time, you probably both have too much taken out of you from your ... (read in full...)
I found porn on my 53 year old dad's computer
Q. My dad is 53yrs old.. a very simple, sober and decent man who practices meditation daily. But today when I went on his laptop, there were loads of porn (hardcore) websites in his browsing history. Is it normal for a person like him to be looking ...
A. 22 March 2011: Yes I would say looking at porn is normal behaviour, in general. Some people do it obsessively but in general humans have been making erotica for centuries and internet porn is just part of the human fascination with sex.
What is of interest... (read in full...)
He has no idea of my existance because he's in love with my friend
Q. Hello :) Im in a bit of a situation - basically i have such a huge crush on this lovely, sweet, cute guy, but he has no idea of my existence cause he's in love with my friend. He's very publicly fancied her for like the last 3 years, but she's not ...
A. 22 March 2011: You know what his feelings are for your friend, but you don't know what his feelings are for you. It is possible that he only has eyes for your friend, but when I was 17 I had a crush on lots of different girls. I understand you hesitating becau... (read in full...)
How do I get my parents to allow my bf and me to be alone together in my room?
Q. I have no doubts that my boyfriend cares for me, we are both happy together and spend alot of time together, however, even being almost 17 my parents refuse to allow us to be alone or even accept the fact we are sexually active. this has res...
A. 21 March 2011: If you want your parents to accept it, and accept you, you need to have a conversation with them. You have a point of view to put across, and they will have a point of view too. You need to listen to theirs as much as they need to listen to yours. ... (read in full...)
Am I now considered a hooker?
Q. I am 19 year old female. I live in an area where there is a lot of prostitution. I have always fantasized myself being a working girl so I like to dress the part and walk around the streets to see how many men proposition me. When they do I just ...
A. 21 March 2011: No, you are not a prostitute because you didn't do it for the money, you did it because you wanted to, and you weren't expecting any money. He ended up giving you money anyway but that was just a gesture on his part. Deciding on whether or not t... (read in full...)
How can I be a player?
Q. How do I play players back who have hurt so many girls? What is their game and mindset? I want to think like them so hopefully I can hurt them when they get their guard down. Any tips or suggestions? ...
A. 17 March 2011: Choosing to go out of your way to become hurtful to others is not a great way to spend your time on this planet. Life is short, and it would be wiser to choose more loving actions, and to make choices that will make you happy in your life. This ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and sex is daunting!
Q. I am 19 years old and i am still a virgin. I am ready to finally have sex but i find it very daunting and being that intimate with someone is rather scary. I have someone i would like to be my first but i keep avoiding it because of this. How ca...
A. 17 March 2011: You say you have someone in mind. How intimate have you been with them?
There are lots of steps that you can take leading up to having intercorse, which are also highly intimate and which can help you feel more comfortable with actually having s... (read in full...)
Do I keep the box of momentos from my son's bio father's funeral, or get rid of it because it will hurt my fiance?
Q. I was going through my son's closet today and I found a box that has mementos from my son's biological father's funeral in it, we will call him "Cord" I don't know if I should show it to my fiance, we will call him "Michael" or if I should just hi...
A. 17 March 2011: You say you were going through your son's closet. Does the stuff belong to you or your son? Who was it given to? How old is your son?
It would be normal for your son to have a deep attachment to his biological father, and to keep mementos if they ... (read in full...)
Does anyone think he loves me?
Q. ok , so after my divorce in 2004 , me and a long time friend who was divorcing too . started to sleep together the first time once , did not see him for 9 months he called apologized and said i did not deserve that , we got to gather a few times a ...
A. 17 March 2011: It seems that you are quite clear on this guy. He is the best guy you have dated, you love him, he treats you well when you are with him. What I am not sure about is the same thing that you are not sure about. Does he love you?
It sounds to me li... (read in full...)
Getting involved with married colleague??
Q. Hi, this is the first time I have used a forum for advice. I know a lot of people will judge me negatively but all constructive comments are really appreciated. I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 6 months. I love him very mu...
A. 16 March 2011: It sounds like you have a much better sense of what you want now. As time passes it will become clearer whether you are on the right track for you or not over time, but at least it sounds like you are doing what is best for you right now. As things ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants us to stay in different rooms for a month!
Q. my girlfriend turned round to me as i was about to get into bed last night and said she wanted us to stay in different rooms and not have sex for a month so she can work herself out and that it wont be a problem if i love her. Someone tell me how i ...
A. 15 March 2011: Yes, I can imagine getting her to talk is hard. She is probably asking for space because it is easier to try sort things out in her head on her own than having to have difficult conversations with you. She may not be aware of any tendancy she may ... (read in full...)
Getting involved with married colleague??
Q. Hi, this is the first time I have used a forum for advice. I know a lot of people will judge me negatively but all constructive comments are really appreciated. I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 6 months. I love him very mu...
A. 11 March 2011: You are right, you don't know what to do. What would it take for you to be able to think clearly about this situation, to be able to see all your options or choices, and make a sensible one that is good for you? Some people take a few days vacatio... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants us to stay in different rooms for a month!
Q. my girlfriend turned round to me as i was about to get into bed last night and said she wanted us to stay in different rooms and not have sex for a month so she can work herself out and that it wont be a problem if i love her. Someone tell me how i ...
A. 11 March 2011: The part where you don't know why it happened and that you are still confused means that, although you have had a good conversation and are on track again, you haven't had the full conversation you probably need to have. Things are better but you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants us to stay in different rooms for a month!
Q. my girlfriend turned round to me as i was about to get into bed last night and said she wanted us to stay in different rooms and not have sex for a month so she can work herself out and that it wont be a problem if i love her. Someone tell me how i ...
A. 10 March 2011: I need a little more information to really say what I think is going on, but a couple of things do stand out.
First, this is a serious thing she is laying on you, and you need to be able to talk about it properly, not as you are about to go to be... (read in full...)
Getting involved with married colleague??
Q. Hi, this is the first time I have used a forum for advice. I know a lot of people will judge me negatively but all constructive comments are really appreciated. I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 6 months. I love him very mu...
A. 9 March 2011: I am not sure what constructive comments you are looking for, you only really ask one question which has a pretty straightforward answer that you will already know most likely. So I will just comment and you can take what is helpful. You start... (read in full...)
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