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*opeful's profile:

Hi - I'm 23 and live in Australia. I'm single.

I enjoy reading everyone's posts and seeing if there is anything I can suggest which may help them.

I don't think I know all the answers but I think it is important to look at these problems from a lot of different angles to try and find the best solution.

Sometimes I think it is important to play Devil's advocate and really look at all the issues and all the options before making a final one.

Enjoy!

< Prev12345678Next > [8 pages, 283 answers]

We're friends... with benefits... but could we be more?

Q.   Two years ago I was in love with a guy , we dated for a while nothing serious but things didn’t work out I was very immature , he is older and has more experience in relationships , he give my first kiss. We stayed as friends , now the age gap is ...

A.   15 May 2006: Being friends with benefits can be fun but it can also lead to situations where one person wants more and that is what has happened here. I think that you need to be upfront with him and tell him that you love the time you spend together and thin... (read in full...)

Told my boyfriend how I felt... he needs to think about it. Bad sign?

Q.   I told my boyfriend of a year and a half of how i truly feel last nite and where i stand in our relationship. He gave me a promise ring on my birthday in last december. When i switched the question around about where he stands his reply ...

A.   12 May 2006: No point in worrying about it until he says what he thinks. He may just be confused or want to clarify his feelings in his mind before he verbalises them. Maybe you caught him off gaurd? Wait until he says what he feels and go from there.... (read in full...)

How can i show a girl i'm interested in her?

Q.   simple question. what are the non verbal signs a girl likes you?? what signs could i make to show i am interested in her?...

A.   12 May 2006: Girls who like you will do some or all of the following: *laugh at all your jokes, including unfunny ones *find ways to touch your arm or brush against your leg *blush *play with their hair when they talk to you *try and get their friends to... (read in full...)

He wants to go out once a week with his friends and I don't think it's necessary...

Q.   Here's my problem.... my boyfriend and I moved in together about a month ago. I changed states to move in w/ him... he wants to go out once a week with his friends to do something or other... and it bothers me because i dont think its necessary ev...

A.   11 May 2006: I understand how it can be frustrating and annoying but at the end of the day, your partner has to have time to himself and time with his mates. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. It just means that he likes to catch up with other people a... (read in full...)

My mother said she heard people in our bedroom when she came home. Should I believe her?

Q.   My name is "Sue". i have been dating an older man, "Bob" for a year and a half. My mother recently moved in with us because of some money issues. She hates us dating, because he is older than i am. I love him more than anything and would trust him ...

A.   9 May 2006: I agree with the other aunts and uncles, it does seem a bit odd. What exactly did she hear? someone talking, people talking - well, that could be a loud TV or him on speaker phone having a conversation with a friend or did she hear people walking ... (read in full...)

My mother said she heard people in our bedroom when she came home. Should I believe her?

Q.   My name is "Sue". i have been dating an older man, "Bob" for a year and a half. My mother recently moved in with us because of some money issues. She hates us dating, because he is older than i am. I love him more than anything and would trust him ...

A.   9 May 2006: I agree with the other aunts and uncles, it does seem a bit odd. What exactly did she hear? someone talking, people talking - well, that could be a loud TV or him on speaker phone having a conversation with a friend or did she hear people walking ... (read in full...)

Scared to take things further with my boyfriend incase I get pregnant!!

Q.   Been seeing my boyfrind for about 5 weeks now, he has now began to try and iniciate sex with me. i turned him down and asked him to stop. but5 now when i speak with him on the phone he is realy on bout sex all the time! He even rang me and made...

A.   8 May 2006: Don't let him pressure you into sex if you are not ready. But I think that you should tell him your a virgin, he probably is thinking that you aren't and is making these suggestions because he doesn't know. Tell him, if he is a decent guy he w... (read in full...)

My crush asked me to do a threesome.. What will I do??

Q.   Something weird has happened: I have had a huge crush on an incredibly good friend of mine for three years, we've kissed eachother so many times randomly out of passion, and have come close to doing stuff a few times but I'm shy so I always back ...

A.   8 May 2006: Everyone's private lives are their own. Some people feel comfortable to experiment with things like threesomes, others don't. It doesn't make people wrong or right or boring or exciting, it just makes us different people with different likes an... (read in full...)

How can I get my boyfriend to change his mind??

Q.   How Can Get My Boyfriend Change His Mind To Have Intercourse With Me Please Help ? ...

A.   8 May 2006: I'm confused - please supply us with a little more info and we would love to help you out. Give us some background so we can give you better advice.... (read in full...)

What should I do about my army boyfriend?

Q.   i love my bf loads and loads bt he is leaving to join the army at the end of the month, i dont want him to go but i know its sumfing ive got to let him do, the problem is im going to see him for 3days in the next 3months and im gonna miss him ...

A.   8 May 2006: Don't spend the next three months crying for him. He's coming back, he's not dying! He's just going away for a little while. Take this time to have fun, spend some time with your mates, go out and do stuff, think about what you want out of life.... (read in full...)

Is it worth it?

Q.   are relationships worth the hassle or is it way more fun staying single?...

A.   8 May 2006: Depends on the person, depends on the time, depends on what you are looking for and what you want out of life. Good relationships shouldn't be a "hassle". Yes, work is required to make them work but it shouldn't be hard work. Relationships... (read in full...)

Love at first sight, Is it possible???

Q.   Is it possible for two persons to fall in love w/ each other even if they haven't meet personally yet?...

A.   8 May 2006: I believe in lust, attraction and good instincts about a person at first sight but real and true love happens later once trust and respect is established between two people. To see someone once and feel attracted to them and drawn to them is a gre... (read in full...)

He wants to give me a "pearl necklace" but I'd prefer some pretty ear-rings!!

Q.   Hiya I'm 17 and from Newcastle in the uk, studying art and design. My boyfriend and me have been going out for a few weeks now and he keeps promising to give me a pearl necklace at the weekend, but he has yet to come round with one. I love my j...

A.   8 May 2006: I would have a chat to your boyfriend to make sure the two of you are on the same page. "pearl necklace" does have two meanings and you may be setting yourself up for a shock. He may be thinking of the "other" meaning which has been describe... (read in full...)

Want to resist the urgies to call ex while on a conference... Any ideas??

Q.   I need help on this one. My boyfriend of a few years left me almost a year ago now and relocated to his home city. I am now seeing someone on a fairly steady basis but I will be flying out to his home city tomorrow for a two day work related ...

A.   8 May 2006: Delete his number if you never want to be tempted to call him. Or delete his number but give a copy of it on a piece of paper to a friend for safekeeping so when you are tempted before you can call him, you need to talk to him/her and explain ... (read in full...)

How do I get a girlfriend??

Q.   How do I get a girl friend??...

A.   1 May 2006: What sort of things do you like? What sort of hobbies do you have? I would use these as ways to meet girls who have similar tastes and interests - join a mixed netball team, join a gym, go to a book club or a drama class etc etc etc - whatever... (read in full...)

How do you know a boy likes you?

Q.   how do you know a boy likes you?...

A.   28 April 2006: Spending time with you, making excuses to call you or drop by and see you, remembering things you tell them, laughing at your jokes, looking at you a lot, taking an interest in your life - ie school, work, friends, family, hobbies, finding ways to ... (read in full...)

What does he want? He knows I have a boyfriend and I'm on the verge of breaking up...

Q.   I'm in uni, living in halls. There's a guy who I have got to know over the past month. Every night we lay on his bed for three hours and just talk and talk. I'm so comfortable with him. We're not touchy-feely, although he will occassio...

A.   13 April 2006: Stop trying to hedge your bets. Either try and make it work with your boyfriend and forget about this other guy or do the right thing and break up with your boyfriend and then consider this new guy. Show some respect to your current relation... (read in full...)

My bf wont have sex with me till he's obese!!

Q.   Hi, I'm 18, my boyfriend's 21 and he refuses to have sex with me any more. We have a good relationship but sexually it isn't as good as it used to be. I asked him why he doesn't want sex with me any more, and he said he won't have sex until he be...

A.   13 April 2006: This guy is either using a really stupid excuse to avoid being with you or he seriously needs some advice and guidance. I would encourage the both of you to make a visit to your GP and run this theory by him/her. I'm sure they would have somethin... (read in full...)

I just found someone I would like to stay with, how can I make our relationship better?

Q.   I am a 34 year old guy who up until recently due to a severe lack of confidence, have had no sexual partners in my life. Determined to sort the problem out, I tried internet dating and met a lovely young woman around my own age. We live some 80 ...

A.   13 April 2006: Jimmy - From what you say I really don't think I trust this girl - she sounds like she is very demanding and I am concerned that you have known her for such little times but you are giving her money. Relationships only get better when both peo... (read in full...)

What do you think of being "friends with benefits"?

Q.   In your own opinion, what is your view on being "friends with benefits", meaning being friends, but still have a sexual relationships, and does it ever work? ...

A.   11 April 2006: It is a very tricky situation and rarely works. These are some of the reasons why it doesn't: (1) One person may develop stronger feelings than the other (2) One person may hope to lead the person into something more than just friends with... (read in full...)

I love blowing all my wages on shoes, clothing, etc. How do I begin to start budgeting? All ideas welcome.

Q.   ok this may not seem like a huge problem, but it is to me...basically, I can't stop spending money. Whenever i have money I am itching to spend it, just to buy things, not because i actually need stuff. When my wages come through, the first th...

A.   11 April 2006: http://money.ninemsn.com.au/controls/tool/budgetplanner.aspx Check out this site - it is an online planner which is good, it helps you see where your money goes, what you can save on and what your essentials cost. *I always find that a good... (read in full...)

We want a baby and I can't get pregnant!

Q.   me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for the past year and i cant seem to get pregnant, could there be any causes to this? im very stuck as i know he really wants children and im scared i cant...

A.   11 April 2006: There are plenty of reasons why people can't concieve. Sometimes they are a simple factor, like lifestyle, sometimes they are more serious. A year is frustrating but it is not a hopeless situation - many couples take longer than this to fall ... (read in full...)

My Mom says I have to earn her trust back...how do I do this?

Q.   Hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 and I snuck over to my boyfriends house and my mom says I have to earn my trust back how can I earn my trust back? ...

A.   11 April 2006: It is a slow process whereby you just have to be honest with your mum and don't let her down. Gaining someone's trust back unfortunately is not a quick, one step process. It takes time. Over time, as you do good things and show your maturity an... (read in full...)

I have a major crush on a teacher. He gave me a lift home and we kissed!

Q.   Is it wrong for a 13 year old to have a major crush on a teacher? I asked him to give me a lift home the other day as I told him I was getting bullied, as I know he is kind and would believe me. So he did and we kissed. I really liked it but every ...

A.   10 April 2006: It is not wrong for you to have a crush but it is VERY wrong for him to kiss you. You are 13 and he is a teacher, meaning he is definitely over 22-23-24. That is so wrong. He would get fired if people knew about this, your parents would be furio... (read in full...)

Emails of sexy guys in underwear keep arriving in our email box... addressed to my boyfriend!

Q.   I'm a 24 year old woman from Bolton in Greater Manchester and my boyfriend's 28 and works away from home. Recently I have been receiving photographs of men in their underwear which are highly sexual and shocking - and addressed to my boyfrien...

A.   10 April 2006: I think you definitely need to talk to him. Maybe it is something innocent? Who are emails from? Automatically generated from a website? from someone he knows? from random people? Or maybe, he is interested in his own sex. I think that you a... (read in full...)

We just don't get together like we used to. What's going on?

Q.   My boyfriend is such a sweetie. We really get along but here lately he and I aren't talking on the phone anymore, and we never get together anymore. Is there something wrong with me? What's going on?...

A.   10 April 2006: How long have you been dating? When he doesn't want to spend time with you is it because he is busy with something else or just not interested? Do you feel like things have changed and moved on? Do you feel like yours and his goals and intere... (read in full...)

I had a wild time in bed -- with my mate's mum!

Q.   I'm 19 and until a few weeks ago I was still a virgin. My mates all knew and teased me a bit about it but I wasn't too bothered. Then in July, one of my mates was going on holiday to Greece and asked me for a lift to the airport. When I picked ...

A.   10 April 2006: Is it love or lust do you think? It seems to me that it may be the later and I would very carefully consider this because it sounds like this is more of a sexual attraction between the two of you plus perhaps the excitment of doing something that is ... (read in full...)

I found animal porn on his computer...

Q.   i found animal porn on my bf computer, i feel so sick and i don't know what to do or say to him about it? i can't even look him in the eye anymore, i just don't know what to do about this....

A.   5 April 2006: Tell him straight up. "Hey, I found this on your computer, I'm confused by it, what is the deal? Why do you have it? Why do you like it?" I don't think there is any other way to approach it but saying "I found this - please explain to me why you ... (read in full...)

I cry myself to sleep because I'd *love* to be a teenager in America... And not stuck in this miserable Northern, English dump

Q.   Hiya I don't know what do about this, but I'm really unhappy. At my school in a poorer area of Northern England, the girls are all really bitchy and unkind and the boys don't want to know you if you aren't a slut. At the beginning of Y7 (my firs...

A.   4 April 2006: First of all, as pointed out by the other aunts and uncles, those TV shows are not real - they are made up storylines featuring gorgeous actors who are not even teenagers. All kids have problems - even if they live in LA or London or Paris or Sydney ... (read in full...)

My mom doesn't want me to have a boyfriend til I'm 18, HELP!

Q.   I am a young teen well i'm uder 15.Well the problem is that my mum says i'm not allowed to see my boyfreind so the other day i sneaked out and he fingered me for the first time.It felt good and i did cum but i'm worried what my mum will say if she ...

A.   4 April 2006: I really don't blame your mother - she is just trying to protect you from things like unprotected sex. She doesn't want you to get hurt or used or heartbroken. but by the same token, I understand your frustration at not being allowed to spend ti... (read in full...)

We love eachother, but her mom isn't liking this and wants to call the cops!

Q.   Hi... I live in England, UK. Heres my question. Im 20, but my girlfriend is only 14 (she has the mind of someone more my age, shes mature). Iv known her for about three and a half years, but we were just distant friends for about one year. She st...

A.   4 April 2006: Talking to her and spending time with her is not illegal when she wants to talk to you and spend time with you. But I can imagine how her mother feels. Imagine if you had a daughter who was 14 who was seeing a man who was a few years older. W... (read in full...)

Together a week and 17 and pregnant already, what to do!?

Q.   My girlfreind today had a pregnancy test. She is positive. What am i to do? We have established that we have to make a decision as a couple and not as individuals because i was asking her what she wants? Shes 17 and we've only been going out f...

A.   4 April 2006: I agree with soulsista, I think that you need to make sure you are not being taken for a ride here. Why did she take the test? Was her period late? I don't understand what lead her to think she was pregnant within a week of sleeping with you? ... (read in full...)

He rebranded us as "friends" from a "couple"!

Q.   Hi There, My name is Michael,I'm Gay and 34 years old. For three years I've been in a relationship with a wonderful Guy about 4 years older than me but now we're in trouble. When I first met my Partner I was quite happy and go lucky however...

A.   3 April 2006: Michael, sorry to hear about your situation. You sound like a very nice and caring person and I can tell you care deeply for this guy. I am also pleased to hear that you are getting some help to assist you through your stresses and personal ups and ... (read in full...)

How can I know if someone has quit smoking, when we're in a long distance relationship?

Q.   How you help a person that smokes cigarettes from time to time to be social? How do you really know that they have stopped, especially when you are in a long distance relationship?...

A.   3 April 2006: It's pretty easy when you are with them all the time because of the smell etc. Long distance is tougher. Why do you care so much? Was there some sort of promise to not smoke that you think has been broken? Are you just super cautious for thi... (read in full...)

I found animal porn on his computer...

Q.   i found animal porn on my bf computer, i feel so sick and i don't know what to do or say to him about it? i can't even look him in the eye anymore, i just don't know what to do about this....

A.   3 April 2006: I'm sorry to hear that. I was really hoping for your sake that this was just some one off thing that some mate had sent him. I'm especially sorry to hear that this is not the first time you have gone through the whole porn issue with your partner.... (read in full...)

She's pregnant and now what do I say when she says "what do you want" !?

Q.   This is urgent people. Me and my new girffriend have recently had unprotected sex. She feels shes pregnant but i dont know what to say to her when she says what do you want? to me. Well i reply its her decision ultimatly because she will be af...

A.   3 April 2006: When you say "she feels she's pregant" - are you sure she is actually pregant or is it just a hunch. Has she taken a test or been to the doctor? If not, the first thing I would do is get her down to a doctor and have a chat with him and see if s... (read in full...)

How do I make sure she really wants to kiss?

Q.   Hi Im 14 years old, i really like this girl at school. I cant stop thinking about her, and she really likes me too. Though according to her best friend she doesn't want a boyfriend right now (though i think she actually does), thats ok with me,...

A.   3 April 2006: It does sound like this girl is fairly interested - she is spending time with you and talking to you about kissing. I would make a move if i were you. I know its hard but this girl seems keen from what you have told us. Good luck!... (read in full...)

I found animal porn on his computer...

Q.   i found animal porn on my bf computer, i feel so sick and i don't know what to do or say to him about it? i can't even look him in the eye anymore, i just don't know what to do about this....

A.   3 April 2006: It does depend. Ie. Was it just something someone from his work or friendship group emailed him as a joke? Or was it files upon files of it that he had spent a lot of time downloading? If it was just something funny that someone sent him, I wouldn... (read in full...)

Lost my way and ended up sleeping with my ex...

Q.   I've been in a relationship a while with a girl, I stopped giving advice and visiting dear cupid incase it freaked her out, but now I need help. With my new girl Claire, there just isnt a spark. We kiss, and it's good, we hug, and mess about, but ...

A.   3 April 2006: Why have you stayed with Claire if there is no spark? Are you happy in that relationship? Do you think she is the girl for you? Is that lack of spark a major issue in the relationship? I really think that you need to first of all, really cons... (read in full...)

Am I right in thinking she wants me?

Q.   There is this girl at work i like and i think she likes me too but i am not sure if it is just as a friend, and because we work together it's a bit difficult to talk to her about it. It started a few months ago when she said that she missed me while ...

A.   3 April 2006: It does sound like she is keen but as you said shy. I would bite the bullet and suggest that the two of you do something after work one night. Find something she is interested in and cater towards that - if she likes Chinese food, say to her... (read in full...)

What can I say to shut him up?

Q.   He got back together with his ex-girlfriend months ago. He is now consistently emailing me a one-liner about once a month, apparently so I don't forget about him...gag. I know the best thing to do is nothing, but I'd love to reply with something ...

A.   3 April 2006: Hmm. Exes are very odd. They don't seem to understand that after they have broken your heart that you are not interested in their thoughts on life and their happenings. If you were interested, you would ask. They don't seem to get that idea. I wou... (read in full...)

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