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... Send *opeful a private message | | | *opeful's profile:Hi - I'm 23 and live in Australia. I'm single.
I enjoy reading everyone's posts and seeing if there is anything I can suggest which may help them.
I don't think I know all the answers but I think it is important to look at these problems from a lot of different angles to try and find the best solution.
Sometimes I think it is important to play Devil's advocate and really look at all the issues and all the options before making a final one.
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He has a gf but he and I are going out on a date. Will we end up together as an item or will I be disappointed?.
Q. Hi,I met a guy a few weeks ago-there was some flirting and instant chemistry but was spoiled by the fact he has a girlfriend-but we are going to go out next week. I am coming to the end of my studies and so is he so in a few weeks time we shall be ...
A. 31 May 2006: Why is he going out on a date with you if he has a girlfriend?
Why do you want to date someone who already has a partner?
Why would you want to be with someone who obviously has no respect or honesty with his current partner?
I would cancel ... (read in full...)
How do I hide my sexaulity, without avoiding people I care about and becoming lonely and depressed ?
Q. When I was little I was always a tom boy. I'm 18 now, and I'm not TOTALLY like that anymore, but I have been hiding the fact that I'm homosexual for as long as I can remember. When I look back it's obvious that I've liked girls since I was in 1st ...
A. 31 May 2006: Sorry to hear you're feeling down.
Because you mentioned anxiety and the likes, perhaps you should consider talking to a counsellor or someone who can help you look at some of the issues you are currently facing.
A professional wil... (read in full...)
Met on the net and never met in person, but he wants to marry me, within the next 2 months! What should I do?
Q. I met my boyfriend on the internet. He lives in India, and I live in the U.S. We have never met, but have communicated for 15 months, and we fell in love. He has been pressuring me relentlessly to marry him, almost from the beginning. It is NOT that ...
A. 31 May 2006: Why can't he come over and meet you and then decide if marriage is the way to go?
I work for the Australian Government and am involved with Immigration. Like the USA, Australia is a very desirable place to live and as a result, many people t... (read in full...)
I talked to her online and now I think I have fallen for her
Q. This is gonna sound really stupid. I have been talkin to a girl on the net for approx 2 months, she is a friend of a friend, but we had never met face to face until yesterday. I bought her flowers and chocolates an a card sayin what i was feeli...
A. 30 May 2006: Meet her and keep it casual - have fun but make sure you don't come on too strong or she might get a bit freaked out.
Make sure she knows you are keen but also allow yourself some more time to get to know her face to face!... (read in full...)
I acted like a chicken...Now what?
Q. I'm 24 yr old international graduate student and I like a hard working american undergraduate who works in the opposite lab. Of late, we were involved in eye-flirting episode which continued for a month (despite the fact that we'd never talked to ...
A. 30 May 2006: Ok - not the best way you tried to initiate conversation but she was a bit of a cow about it too.
Anyway, that's my two bobs worth.
But I think that you should wait until she is alone and say "Hi, I just wanted to apologise for blurting out... (read in full...)
He just left for the army and i miss him, how do i through the lonely nights?
Q. i know this is gonna sound sad bt my bf went in the army 2day and i miss him so much already, ive been with him over 2years and normally i wouldnt b writing how much i miss him at 3 in the mornining but i cant get it out of my head that im not gonna ...
A. 30 May 2006: When you can't sleep, write him a letter (even if you don't send it), do some excercises - sit ups, stretches etc (this will wear you out and help you to sleep better), read (again this will wear you out and help you to sleep - I always read books ... (read in full...)
My friend went through the 'Mummy Test' and I might have overreacted
Q. Fellow agony aunts, I have a friend who has been seeing a guy for about a month. Her guy wants a wife and kids - he is at the stage of life where these things should have happened by now. My friend is a few months away from starting her doctorate ...
A. 30 May 2006:
Why don't you want your friend to met her partner's friend at this point?
Why is it desperate for him and his family to meet your friend?
If anything, you should be pleased that your friend has met someone who obviously adores her if ... (read in full...)
How do i get him to come visit me?
Q. I am currently seeing a guy who is 13 years older than me. I met him because he's my dad's friends son. Everything is great between us except that he lives one state over from me and never wants to drive down and see me. I almost think it is ...
A. 30 May 2006: No its not fair, things like this should be even.
Have you asked him why he doesn't want to? What is his reason?
Maybe he is scared of your dad and if that is the case, get your dad to perhaps invite him once for dinner so your boyfriend knows ... (read in full...)
Should I let my 17 year old daughter date a 31 year old man?
Q. My daughter is a mature 17 with excellent grades and a good lifestyle. I've never had to deal with any problems with friends, drugs or school, and she is going to be an adult soon. She tells me all of her problems, but recently, she has told me ...
A. 30 May 2006: It sounds like you have a good relationship with your daughter. Very trusting and mature which is really excellent, a lot of daughter's get scared to tell their mum's things like this so it is very positive that she feels comfortable to tell you ... (read in full...)
He has a problem with alcohol, should i try fix his problem?
Q. I've been with the same guy for about a year now and it seems that we have overcome every obstacle that was in our way. We overcame the age difference of 14 years, we got our parents to accept the relationship, and we made peace with eachother's ...
A. 30 May 2006: Does he know about the health risks associated with drinking? Does he know about the long term problems that can be caused to his liver, his skin, his heart etc by heavy drinking?
I would have a chat to your GP or get some information from web... (read in full...)
Im shy and need some advice on some good conversation starters!
Q. I am COMPLETELY shy around guys. I never know what to say and the conversation always ends quite awkward... I also have a few self confidence issues but i don't want them to apply too much to this question. I've met this guy,... he's extremely good ...
A. 30 May 2006: Conversation can be hard to start and believe me many people find it hard.
I used to be really bad at it but I have a job where I am often meeting new people and need to find ways to start the conversation.
Generally, I think it is always goo... (read in full...)
Hair on my nose! Will girls think I'm a freak?
Q. i have hair growing on my face and i dnt think it should grow on their, and also have some on my nose and i dnt wanna be someone that people laugh at and girls think i might be a freak but u cant see the hair, can u plzzz help...
A. 30 May 2006: Some people have stray hairs on their faces. Some are dark and visible, others can be pale so they are pretty much unseen by other people.
If it really bothers you, talk to a beautican - some hairs like this can be removed so they don't grow bac... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to hang out with my ex-husbands family when they come to town? My fiancee was furious! Please advice
Q. Is it wrong to hang out with my ex-husbands family when they come to town. I have 3 children by this man and i took them to stay at a hotel with their grandparents and aunts and cousins. I havent seen these people in 7 years. So i sat with them a ...
A. 30 May 2006: I agree with the other aunts, your partner is being pretty unreasonable.
Its not like you spend every night with these people - you were catching up with them for a few hours whilst your children spent some quality time with their father's... (read in full...)
Is he selfish when all he wants is to hang with his buddies?
Q. hi, i have a problem....my boyfreind is always choosing his freinds over me where if we'er hanging out he'll leave me and hang with them. like once he was coming to hang out with me then he called and said he's gunna be late cuz he's with his ...
A. 30 May 2006: Guys have to have some time with their mates. But this situation is pretty unfair on you.
He sounds a bit immature to me, I mean, what sort of guy gets their mates to call their girlfriend to say they are going to be late etc? Pretty silly im... (read in full...)
I want her back, how do i make her realize what we had was great?
Q. me and my Lady just recntly broke up... I WANT HER BACK SO BAD! She says we can be just friends and if anything happens in the future it happens. but i dont know if i should give her space to possibly make her realize how great we were together(do ...
A. 29 May 2006: If she says she wants to be friends and take some time apart - you should respect that.
Perhaps she is feeling confused and needs some time alone to think about life, what she wants, what she is looking for etc.
If you want to communicate how ... (read in full...)
I have a little, uncircumsized willie. Are girls going to care?
Q. I have an uncircumcised penis and it is realy small. Do girls care about the size? Any help please....
A. 29 May 2006: Girls don't really care that much.
Its how you make a girl feel and how comfortable you make her and how much you care about her that she is really concerned with.
There is a lot more to the whole experience of sex than just the penis too!... (read in full...)
Feel like I might be the only virgin in my crowd!
Q. Help! I'm 18 and I think I'm the only virgin out of all my friends. They all have girlfriends and I've tried and failed to find someone. Even when I did it only lasted a month. The rest of my friends have been in relationships for 4 months at least ...
A. 29 May 2006: My friend is 24 years old and still a virgin.
My other friend is 24 and lost her virginity at 17, at a party, drunk with some random guy.
Who do you reckon complains the most about their situation?
The later of course is always saying ... (read in full...)
Why is my sister so mean to my boyfriend?
Q. ok i am getting so annoyed with my sister. i have been with my bf for nine months now and just starting a week ago my sister(she is my twin) keeps saying "your bf is ugly" "he is fat" "he has big ears" and none of those are true mostly the "fat" one ...
A. 29 May 2006: I think it sounds like she is jealous.
I can understand that you are upset when you have tried to talk to her and explain how you feel. That is annoying.
I would suggest just ignoring her when she says these silly things. Don't let her ge... (read in full...)
He doesnt include me when he goes to church, what should I do ?
Q. What should i do , when my partner of 7 yrs has been invited to church several times by his boss and family and he does not include or invite me,but he continues to go alone? Then acts as if nothing is wrong? ...
A. 29 May 2006: I had a partner who was invited to church by a friend and my partner didn't invite me because it was a church that was very different to my faith. He assumed that I wasn't interested (which was a safe assumption in his case) but still it would have ... (read in full...)
Mum has crossed the line. She puts me down and snoops in my stuff!
Q. I am a seventeen year old girl. I am getting really fed up with my mum! She is constantly on at me about stupid things (apparently I'm lazy (I do all the housework), fat (bit of a podgy stomach but I am happy with it, why can't she be?). She is...
A. 26 May 2006: Do you have a father or someone who lives with you, another adult? Could they help in some way?... (read in full...)
How can i keep my affair a secret from my sister and my boyfriend?
Q. hi i am 21 and livin with my sister whos married in london.i ve been having a secret sexual realationship with my sisters husband and he tells me that he likes me just for sex and i too like him to have sex with me only.i have a boyfriend also and ...
A. 26 May 2006: If you don't want to create problems for your sister, why are you sleeping with her husband?
Your poor, poor boyfriend and sister.
If you want to have some decency and do the right thing, tell your boyfriend, move out from your sisters hom... (read in full...)
Fifteen with a 23-year-old boyfriend. Illegal?
Q. I'm a 15 year old female from New Jersey. I was wondering if it was legal to date (without sex!!) a 23 year old male? If so, besides having sex/oral, if it was possible for him to get in trouble? My mom tells me its illegal for us to even just dat...
A. 25 May 2006: Not illegal to date (ie. go to the movies or for a meal) but sex until after you are 16 would be statutory rape.
I'm in Australia and where I am you can have sex when you are 16 but only with someone who is two years older or less, so essentia... (read in full...)
Made a mistake and visited when he said not to. Was I really that wrong?
Q. My boyfriend works every single day. He gets up at 4 am and goes to sleep when he gets home. One day he was home so I called him and asked him if I could come see him. He said no but I went anyways because I feel like I never see him. His grandma ...
A. 25 May 2006: Yeah, he didn't want to be woken up and you did. He was probably exhausted and needed some rest. Probably not the best thing to do but by the same token, it is understandable given that you haven't seen much of him.
It sounds like the two of you n... (read in full...)
Feels like guys are just after sex! I don't trust them any more...
Q. I have been messed about by several lads in the past, who have basically just used my gullibility and niceness to get me in bed. Now I don't trust any guy whatsoever. I feel like they are all just after one thing!! How do I tell if they are genuine...
A. 25 May 2006: You can tell straight away if they are genuine but holding back on the physical stuff until you are comfortable.
A genuine guy will want you to be sure before you go to bed with him rather than force.
Slow it down and get to know people befo... (read in full...)
Internet guy is being coldish.. What should I do??
Q. i met him in a textchat room, we got on so well, we exchanged mobile numbers. that was nearly a year and a half ago now. we texted and chatted every day, then we started phoning each other. We arranged to meet up several times but then there would ...
A. 22 May 2006: Maybe he is with someone else? I have to admit when I read the first part of your post that is what crossed my mind.
There seems to be a lot of lies and confusion and him not really being on the level.
There are a hell of a lot of excuses, ... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back but i'm with someone new, should i take him back?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me 3 months ago. I was quite upset as we had been through a lot together and the reasons I was given were not things that could be changed in any way. I decided though, that I would not waste too much tim...
A. 22 May 2006: I think that you need to first of all look at why you are in a new relationship so soon after such a huge break up? Maybe you needed some more time to yourself to gain some distance from your ex and resolve your feelings about him.
It sounds l... (read in full...)
Is it ment to be? or am i just setting myself up to get hurt?
Q. I was in prison for 4 years and had a pen-pal that was also in prison, we lost contact about halfway through my time. We both went to a transitional center (a place you get a job and re-enter society) I got out before he did and kept the job I had ...
A. 22 May 2006: When you say that perhaps you are being set up to get hurt, why do you say that? Have you been hurt before in a similar situation? Has he hurt other people he loved?
Or are you just scared of committing to him?
I think that it does sound a bit... (read in full...)
My ex is being horrible to me, why is he behaving like this
Q. I have been going out with this boy for a year and a half now and he breaks off with me for no good reason al of a sudden, and then he would be horrible to me sending me pics of him naked with other girls and saying he only wants me for sex then he ...
A. 22 May 2006: Consider yourself very lucky that you aren't with him. What a loser and a creep! He is really an idiot.
Tell him to leave you alone and then just ignore him, delete his phone number from your phone, block his email, put return to sender on his m... (read in full...)
is it ok to flirt with other guys?
Q. I have a bf you see but sometimes i catch myself flirting with guys alot. is it ok to flirt? I mean i know i would be ticked off if he did the same but still its so hard sometimes!...
A. 22 May 2006: I think perhaps if you feel that it would hurt you if you saw him doing this, perhaps you should try and curb it.
It is natural and normal to have a bit of a flirt but there is a line that perhaps you feel you are crossing a little bit.
Maybe y... (read in full...)
She cheated on me with a tall,dark and handsome man, how can i rebuild my self esteem?
Q. Hi, calling all girls out there. Please can you give me your honest opinions. The saying goes tall, dark and handsome is what girls are looking for. I'm 5 foot 6 and my girlfriend has been cheating on me with a guy thats 6 foot 2 and built like ...
A. 19 May 2006: They also say gentleman prefer blondes.
Some girls like tall, dark and handsome. Others don't.
What this really comes down to is your girlfriend cheated on you which was unfaithful, dishonest and stupid. Does it really matter what the guy loo... (read in full...)
Am i paranoid? or could he be cheating?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and our relaistionship has been great. We really care about eachother and have even talked about marriage. Lately, both of us have been really busy finishing graduate school and we hardly see eachother. ...
A. 18 May 2006: When you say secretive, what do you mean? Hiding where he is going, being vague about people, disappearing suddenly, being uncontable?
The text messages are not a good sign but the fact that there is more of an effort on his part to spend ti... (read in full...)
We broke up, and he refuses to take me back, did i scare him off?
Q. If you love, deeply care for and are physically attracted to someone still shouldn't you be together? My live in boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 2 months ago and now when we communicate he refuses to talk about it all anymore or even entertain ...
A. 17 May 2006: I don;t think he is sending you mixed messages at all.
He broke up with you. He doesn't want to talk about the relationship or the possibility of getting back with you. He wants to be single and live with his single mates.
The only mixed messa... (read in full...)
family,studies and boyfriend are really getting to me!
Q. eugh god just everything is getting to me atm: 1) a member of my familly that im really close to is dying 2) ive turned 18 now so my dad's stopped making his CSA payments which means that moneys really tight atm as our annual incomes only a...
A. 17 May 2006: Hi - sorry to hear things are a bit tough at the moment.
Now, in terms of this boyfriend of yours. He doesn't sound particularly nice and I think perhaps you need to talk to him and tell him that you are having a hard time at the moment and you ... (read in full...)
Are guys always rude or is it me?
Q. I guy I was dating has stood me up twice and when I call to see what happen, he is now avioding my calls and emails. I what to know if it was something I did to or is that just how guys are RUDE!...
A. 17 May 2006: I think that it sounds like he is rude and immature but all guys are NOT like that.
In life there are some people, girls and guys who are just rude or have bad manners.
I think it sounds like this guy doesn't have enough of a spine to break u... (read in full...)
Chatting online to other women, is this cheating?
Q. Im a married man. I was just wondering if its considered cheating on my wife when I chat online to women? I dont carry on a relationship with these women, or have made an attempt to meet them. I DONT think im interested in that. I do chat about sex ...
A. 16 May 2006: This is a tricky area. Some will say that you are cheating, others will say you are not.
It's like how some people say kissing is cheating, others don't.
I think that it is something that needs to be defined between yourself and your partner... (read in full...)
I found a topless picture of my girlfriend in a cache on my pc, is she cheating?
Q. My girlfriend asked me to change my display picture on msn tonight. I was going through pictures to choose from and was looking in what was a cache of display pictures other friends have used and I know she doesn't know computers can do that. I ...
A. 15 May 2006: It does seem a bit odd. I mean, I don't know why you would do that for anyone else but your partner.
I think that you need to ask her about it, there may be an innocent explanation but if you don't ask you will drive yourself nuts trying to figur... (read in full...)
He's been w wonderful bf to me so why am I having out of control jealous feelings? Do I need help?
Q. i've been 8 yrs running w/a man who i know w/out a doubt loves me unconditionally.i was very young and very naieve when we first met,and i've put him through alot(during the first 2 yrs)he has always been my knight and shining armor.when other women ...
A. 15 May 2006: Maybe you should see a GP or a counsellor - it is odd this has come out of nowhere so perhaps it is a medical thing. It does seem odd so maybe there is a medical explanation.
I would have a chat to your GP and he/she may be able to suggest ... (read in full...)
Marriage Proposal Rejected? What Next?
Q. Me and my partner have been together for 2 1/2 years. I have three children from a prev relationship,my partner doesnt have any. When we both got together i was sceptical that it would last as i am 11 years older than him,but he said that it was...
A. 15 May 2006: I think he sounds immature and like he doesn't know what he wants. He is playing mind games as well with this changing his mind and mucking about - that is immature and no deserves to put up with that.
It sounds like you need a more secure a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't trust me
Q. it has been 2 months already. i have known her for one year. she just told me yesteryday, she doesn't trust me because its hard for her to trust people in general. i have been putting 110% and she has giving back 20% in this relationship. she wants ...
A. 15 May 2006: 2 months is not a long time to be dating and it is not unexpected that trust hasn't 100% developed. Remember trust is earned. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you or like you, it just means that she needs some more time to feel more ... (read in full...)
Seems like my boyfriend fancies my friends more than me... Or am I just imagining it?
Q. I am currently living with my boyfriend and since we've started dating, it's with me and my girls and him. They use to come over to his house when I was there to visit all the time. I used to catch him taking a glimpse at my friends when they wou...
A. 15 May 2006: Maybe you need to talk to him.
Most likely he is attracted to her but that doesn't mean that he wants to be with her or will cheat on you or anything.
I know its upsetting but don't blame your friend, it is not her fault and its really not w... (read in full...)
We're friends... with benefits... but could we be more?
Q. Two years ago I was in love with a guy , we dated for a while nothing serious but things didn’t work out I was very immature , he is older and has more experience in relationships , he give my first kiss. We stayed as friends , now the age gap is ...
A. 15 May 2006: Being friends with benefits can be fun but it can also lead to situations where one person wants more and that is what has happened here.
I think that you need to be upfront with him and tell him that you love the time you spend together and thin... (read in full...)
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