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... Send *opeful a private message | | | *opeful's profile:Hi - I'm 23 and live in Australia. I'm single.
I enjoy reading everyone's posts and seeing if there is anything I can suggest which may help them.
I don't think I know all the answers but I think it is important to look at these problems from a lot of different angles to try and find the best solution.
Sometimes I think it is important to play Devil's advocate and really look at all the issues and all the options before making a final one.
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How do I get over someone and pretend they never existed?
Q. What is the best and quickest way to get over someone and move on as if that person never existed, and block them out? How do you get over an ex that you loved more than they loved you?...
A. 14 June 2006: Unfortunately when it comes to getting over people there are no instant solutions, no real quick fixes but there are some ways that can assist you.
(1) keep busy - don't allow yourself to dwell on it all the time, keep yourself busy with work, fr... (read in full...)
Feeling upset about my Bf being in the army
Q. my bf of over 2years joined the army, he has been in basic training for just over 2weeks now and im struggling to deal with this, i understand that he gets shouted at all day and when he rings home it should be an escape from everything but i have ...
A. 14 June 2006: I suggest you look at this from his perspective.
This is obviously his dream to be in the army but he obviously loves you very much if he is with you still.
The army is REALLY REALLY hard, especially in the first few weeks and after a long, ha... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex-fiance back?
Q. How can I get my ex-fiance back? She said she still loves me but we haven't got back together yet. ...
A. 14 June 2006: Ok, sorry to hear you are in this situation.
But the information you have provided doesn't really give us much of a guide as to what happened.
Why is she your ex? Did she end it or you? Why did it end?
In short, you can't force someone to g... (read in full...)
My period is 12 weeks late, I'm not pregnant, so what is wrong with me?
Q. Hi, My period is 12 weeks late and I dont know why. I have done a pregnancy test and it is negative and my periods are usually regular does anyone have any ideas why this could be? Thanks x...
A. 13 June 2006: I would see your doctor - firstly, home pregnancy tests can be unreliable, secondly, this sort of behaviour of your period no doubt has a cause (diet, medication, sleep patterns, weight gain/loss etc) and a doctor will be able to help you figure out ... (read in full...)
My fiance went out with friends, then home with his ex-girlfriend!
Q. Hi I am due to get married in 4 weeks to the man of my dreams but I have found out that last week he went out with his friends and ended up going home with an ex g/f. I know this because his friends took a photo of them both and he was also seen ...
A. 13 June 2006: Hang on...do you actually know that something happened? Have you bothered to talk to him about this? or are you just guessing? You supply no hard facts that they actually spend the night together and unless there is something you have not told us, ... (read in full...)
Am I living in a dream world or will her feelings come flooding back for me?
Q. Me and my long term girlfriend broke up 6 weeks ago, both admitting there was 'something missing' from our relationship...within 3 weeks we'd seen each other a couple of times - and slept with each other both times...talked and admitted we still ...
A. 13 June 2006: It is possible for another go. The fact that she said she wants some time is a good thing.
Has this ever happened before? Like, have you had breaks in the past or has this "something missing" issue been raised before? Or was this complete... (read in full...)
I just can't seem to trust guys!
Q. heya, I can't help it, I find it really hard to put my trust into guys, like the guy I'm currently dating. I get extreamly worried and jealous that he is going off me because of his msn screen name one part said "lv u 2 princess" I thought hang on ...
A. 13 June 2006: I think it is important to go with your gut instincts here. It does sound odd and if it sounds odd to you, I would do something about it.
In terms of trust, this can be a big issue but I believe that trust needs to be earned by your partner.... (read in full...)
Do I wait around for my BF to grow up and stop hanging out with kids?!
Q. I am 30 year old female and haven't dated anyone for 5 years. My previous ex I lived with but I broke off because he wanted to settle down and get married. I have been dating someone for 3 months now and he really is special, however I am finding ...
A. 13 June 2006: Is it that the friends are young or is that they like to do activities which you feel like you have outgrown?
I know people in the age group you are describing (early 20's) and they enjoy going out for meals and movies and not necessar... (read in full...)
The breakup was a total surprise, and I was his soulmate. Now he says he might be bi...
Q. I'll try keep this brief, I'm so so confused. Please help again. I'm trying to be strong thru my surprise breakup, and it was 3weeks ago. My ex said that he didn't want to be with anyone else and that he needed to sort out where his life was goi...
A. 9 June 2006: I agree with David above, this guy definitely needs some time and space to think about things.
It sounds like he is very confused and doesn't know what he wants.
I would leave him be for a while and try and get on with things in your life. Yo... (read in full...)
He said if I get pregnant again..he would leave or make me miscarry. Should I leave him?
Q. i have a partner who is 19 i have a two month child with him and i ask a hyperthetical question on what would he choose happiness or family he asked me and i choose happiness but he didnt answer so does he really love me as much as he should? also ...
A. 9 June 2006: That is a truely disturbing response from him.
Yes, people get to a stage where they don't want any more children or the timing is bad for them to have kids but to say that shows a lack of respect for human life and a lack of respect of your bod... (read in full...)
He was a real brute in the bedroom and forced himself on me, and then couldnt understand why i chucked him out! Do men get kicks out hurting women during sex ?
Q. hiya everyone, this is my sister in laws account. she recomend i go on here with my problem as she didnt really to know my problem. well im not sure if this is going to get posted because its a little extreme but if it does, oh please some one help. ...
A. 9 June 2006: I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you sweetie, not a pleasant experience at all.
I would leave this guy immediately. If he can't see that you were upset and scared after that, he obviously has some sort of mental health issues.
Yes, so... (read in full...)
He was a real brute in the bedroom and forced himself on me, and then couldnt understand why i chucked him out! Do men get kicks out hurting women during sex ?
Q. hiya everyone, this is my sister in laws account. she recomend i go on here with my problem as she didnt really to know my problem. well im not sure if this is going to get posted because its a little extreme but if it does, oh please some one help. ...
A. 9 June 2006: I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you sweetie, not a pleasant experience at all.
I would leave this guy immediately. If he can't see that you were upset and scared after that, he obviously has some sort of mental health issues.
Yes, so... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and never had a boyfriend! Am I just too old, or too intimidating?
Q. Dear Cupid: I'm a 20 yrs. old female and have never, and I mean NEVER, had a boyfriend. I've been told I'm attractive by several guys; in fact, yeah, I feel attractive...so, appearance doesn't seem to be the problem. Two years ago, I managed t...
A. 9 June 2006: I have a friend who is 23 and never had a boyfriend and she is smart, pretty, funny, nice etc.
The issue is that no one has come along that she has fancied that fancied her or the guys she likes, she is too scared to ask them out.
It will... (read in full...)
My BF of two years just confided that he's actually married!
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost two years now and we have plans of getting married. One day he told me he has a secret to tell me. He said he is married back home and is planning to divorce. He also said he is crazy ab...
A. 8 June 2006: He doesn't want to lose you and he loves you but he has been lying about such a major part of his life for 2 years?
Come on, this is not a little white lie, this is serious stuff.
He has been deceiving you, lying to you and cheating on his ... (read in full...)
As a Nice Guy, am I destined to finish last with women?
Q. Thanks to all the ladies who posted to my last question but even though their advice was sound I have another question. Why is it that nice guys finish last? I mean all I've ever done is treat women with nothing but respect and I treat ...
A. 8 June 2006: Don't change who you are or start to act mean, its not worth it.
One day there will be a nice girl who realises what a prize she has (a guy that treats her right) and she will be more than happy with you.
Some girls are immature and thi... (read in full...)
I don't want her to think i am stalking her
Q. two years ago a girl and i really liked each other, each night we would text each other. after a while she aquired a new number but i never bothered to ask her for it. i dream about her a few times per week and never seem to forget about her. i dont ...
A. 7 June 2006: If she was texting you back, is still chatting to you, sharing parts of her life with you and looking at you in class, it is not unreasonable to ask her for her new phone number.
I would say, "Can I confirm your number, I think I only have you... (read in full...)
Found a condom wrapper, of a type we don't use. Does it mean something?
Q. I need some advice about something I found the other day in my boyfriends room. I was looking for something I'd lost and found a part of a condom wrapper, a type we've never used before. We've been together almost a year. He is untidy but surel...
A. 7 June 2006: It does seem a bit odd but how well do you keep track of condoms?
I mean, often they go on in the dark and perhaps it was one that he ended up with that he wouldn't usually buy that you two did use?
Or you said it was part of one, perhaps it ... (read in full...)
Wait for boyfriend in prison or move onto a younger man...
Q. ok so here goes... I have been with my current boyfriend for 18 months.. he is 20 and i am 17 we live together and get on pretty well most of the time..he has been violent towards me in the past which made me quite insecure. Hes recently been rem...
A. 7 June 2006: Personally, I don't think it would matter if you were or were not interested in someone else.
Your boyfriend sounds like a violent man - I mean, you admit that he has been violent to you! That is way out of line and completely UNACCEPT... (read in full...)
Afraid he'd eventually forget me, I emailled my ex. Mistake?
Q. I posted a question a few days back to say that I just couldn't get over my ex. He lives in Oz and I am in the UK. He has been back there 2 months and a month ago I cut contact with him to help me move on. I'm in agonising heartbreak like I never ...
A. 7 June 2006: The ball is in his court.
Was the email a mistake? No, especially as its not like you begged him to come back or carried on like a mad woman, you simply said that you are happy to be friends.
In a way, that could be nice closure.
Howe... (read in full...)
My boyfriend flirts with other girls when I'm right there!
Q. Hi my boyfriend keeps flirting with other girls around me what do i do?...
A. 7 June 2006: I think you are going to have to describe "flirting" because to different people it means different things.
I remember once describing a girl who was talking to a guy I liked as "flirting" with him and my friend was like "no way, she is just tal... (read in full...)
When we broke up, I not only lost my "prince"; I feel I lost a whole lifestyle that I loved!
Q. Dear Cupid. My fiance broke up with me on his birthday last month my world ended and told me it wasn't working,he moved overseas for work last year, and said he was coming back to start our lives together, but he said he could not handle it saying...
A. 7 June 2006: True class and being a good person doens't depend on money or material things.
Look at Paris Hilton - does she have class? No, yet she has money, celebrity connections, expensive things, high powered friends, property, luxury cars and god knows wh... (read in full...)
I have been dared to have a gang bang at 13!
Q. hi am a jade and i am quite young still i am 13 years and 11 months and i am quite average i like to wear girly clothes and do social thigns but yesterday i went bowling with 5 of my guy mates that i get along with really well. i enjoyed it and we ...
A. 7 June 2006: Find some new friends please. Don't do this. You will regret it. Don't let these stupid, vile, immature guys use you in this way.
If they were really your friends, they would not put you in this situation.
Ignore them. They sound like prize... (read in full...)
Troubled by acne, and I never was before!
Q. Hi, my face has been breaking out lately and I don't know why. I've never had a problem with acne before but it's getting worse now for some reason. I'm a pretty mature 15 year old, though it could still be my age I guess. Also I've used proactiv...
A. 7 June 2006: Hormones, changes in diet, changes in routine, stress....these can all cause changes to skin.
It can be hard to pinpoint the exact reason for it but there are some good rules that may help:
*change your pillowcase every day (your face is ly... (read in full...)
She lied and said she was older, but now I'm a married man in love with a 14-year-old!
Q. What action should I take? I am a married man in my late twenties, who has fallen for someone much younger. We met in a chatroom last year, when her profile stated she was older. After a while, we spoke on MSN when I noticed that she was actu...
A. 7 June 2006: Have you at all considered your wife in this situation?
Does she know that she is married to a man who seeks women out, or should I say, children, out on the internet and meets with them?
Why don't you address the problems in your marriage be... (read in full...)
I played strip poker with my Bf and his mate but he now ignores me!
Q. i have been seeing this guy for well over a year now and we split up a while ago but i met him a few nights ago and we had sex and played strip poker with him and his mate as a laugh but he hasnt botherd texting me since..what should i do? I have ...
A. 6 June 2006: If he really did love you and want to be with you, he would call you. If you keep on calling and texting when he doesn't reply, you will turn into a stalker.
Forget him and find someone who treats women with more respect.... (read in full...)
I'm so self-concious of my mole on my back..that I won't wear strappy shirts and bathing suits. What can I do?
Q. this is a strange question but, i am 16 and i hate wearing strappy tops or bikini's/swiming costumes cos i have a big dark mole on my back. to me i think it is really big and people will notice and go yuk. but it is on my back on my shoulder and ...
A. 5 June 2006: Have you had this mole checked out by a doctor recently?
More importantly than just vanity - moles need to be regularly assessed by a doctor to make sure they are not anything more sinister.
I would take yourself off to your GP and show him/her... (read in full...)
When am I going to hear those three little words?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for 3 months now. Should i be worried that we haven't said I love you to each other yet? I dont think i love him yet though, but i really like him and enjoy being with him. Is there a certain amount of time i ...
A. 5 June 2006: Three months is generally not long enough to exchange "I love you", especially if you don't think you love him.
I think you need to look at the relationship and decide if it has a future and how much you care about him - the love may grow or it ma... (read in full...)
Visit my dying uncle or take my English exams?
Q. Hi I have English exams on the 6th and 8th of June. I am really streesed about it because I found out yesterday that my uncle had 48 hours to live, so I guess that means 24 now. The problem is I want to see him before it's too late but he lives ...
A. 5 June 2006: Is there any way that you can get special permission to sit the exam later?
A friend of mine, she had uni exams in one state and her parents were on holiday in another and her father became very ill and she was able to get special permissi... (read in full...)
I want to wear clothes that make my body look as curvy as it really is...
Q. i am 15 and have quite a curvy figure and i love it! (not boasting lol). but i want to envisise it by wearing clothes that will make my body look more curvy. i really want my body to look more curvy but i am not sure on what sort of t-shirts and ...
A. 5 June 2006: Consult fashion mags and websites - they often feature lots of articles, styles and pictures to show you how to dress to your body type, as well as tips on how to accentuate parts of your body and flatter others.
Generally, V neck tends to suit ... (read in full...)
How do I start the conversation flowing??
Q. i want to talk to this girl but don't know how to start the conversation what should i do? ...
A. 2 June 2006: Ask her questions - find out something that she is interested in or knows about or does and ask her.
Ask her about her school, her friends, hobbies, after school activities, part time work, family, holidays etc...people feel most comforta... (read in full...)
my brother's 19yr old friend wants sex and I am only 13, what do I do?
Q. hi i am 13 and i am confused my 19 year old step brothers friend keeps on nagging me and asking me if want to do things with him. he has kissed me plenty of times which i dont mind we hug every time we see each other and we have snogged but that ...
A. 2 June 2006: This is illegal and very inappropriate of your step brother's mate to even suggest it. It's good that you haven't bowed to his pressure.
Is your step brother aware of what is going on? I would consider telling him or another adult because ... (read in full...)
Got a date with a guy from college who has a girlfriend
Q. "Hi,I met a guy a few weeks ago-there was some flirting and instant chemistry but was spoiled by the fact he has a girlfriend-but we are going to go out next week. I am coming to the end of my studies and so is he so in a few weeks time we shall be ...
A. 1 June 2006: How would you feel if you were his girlfriend? How would you feel if some girl did this with your friend's boyfriend?
Rise above his low morals and find a guy who is unattached and respects women.
Don't assist him in cheating...in my... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to talk about this, but I feel alone.....
Q. I am a 26 year old male who has been in a relationship with my girlfriend for just over four years. When we entered this relationship she was physical and sexual, but shortly after the official commitment, the sexual activity dropped. I love her, I ...
A. 1 June 2006: It's not uncommon for the level of sex to drop once the relationship ages and people feel more comfortable with each other.
However, the fact that there seems to be such a big gap between what you want and what she wants in the bedroom is a con... (read in full...)
I moved in with My partner and his teenage son, I feel like im a housemaid that gets critiscised all the time and its getting me down!
Q. I am a 28 year old woman I have recently moved in with my older partner and his teenage son. Although I love my partner dearly and I am a very strong and out spoken person I cant help but feel I am being taken for granted. I dont just mean in the ...
A. 1 June 2006: Next time they expect you to do everything around the house - say no, that you will do some and they should do some work too.
Don't keep on saying yes all the time, they have obviously gotten used to you just doing all the dirty work which is... (read in full...)
My husband has fallen out of love with me
Q. my husband and i was deeply in love,he said he's not in love with me anymore what can i do to make him fall back in love with me?...
A. 1 June 2006: You can't make someone fall in love with you. However, you can try and understand what has happened that has taken you from a loving relationship to his doubts.
You have to talk to him about this and see why he feels this way - it could be somet... (read in full...)
I liked this boy since 3rd grade, how can I get him back?
Q. Hi I am 13 years old.My name is Felicia Lee. My ex boyfriend,Dalton only went out with me for three days then broke up with me.I had liked this boy since the 3rd grade and now I am in love with him. He told me that he might go back out with me next ...
A. 31 May 2006: To me, he sounds pretty immature and confused.
I understand you care deeply for him but I would recommend giving him some time to think about things.
You don't ever want to force someone to be with you or trick them to getting back together or... (read in full...)
Will he lose respect for me if we go to a f***-buddy type relationship from just friends?
Q. hi im curious if there are any guys to give me some perspective. im contemplating a strictly sex/friend relationship with a friend of mine who has wanted to for some time now. i have no worries about it, i know about the attachement problems and i ...
A. 31 May 2006: These type of sitautions rarely work out well - ends in hurt feelings, tears, confusion, jealousy and god knows what else!
I would suggest sticking to just being friends and look for someone you can be in a relationship with to fufill your phy... (read in full...)
Never had intercourse with him, but am I pregnant by being fingered?
Q. Please help me by telling me what you think. I havent had sex yet, but my boyfriend and I do fool around. Fool around meaning he does finger me. I am about 6-7 days late for my period, I got sick recently, and now I am really worried that I am ...
A. 31 May 2006: All the worry has probably stressed out your body and made you late!
I wouldn't worry - the chances of getting pregnant in this way are near impossible.
To put your mind at ease, go and visit your doctor and have a check up to make sure everyt... (read in full...)
Please help, My flirting is out of control !!!
Q. i have a problem, im way to big of a flirt.....and im afraid its makeing my bf jelous! when ever i talk to any guy, i tend to flirt...not on purpous....i just do, and my friends notis it all the time, but i really dont.....though,...
A. 31 May 2006: It's hard to say exactly why you do it - some people flirt more naturally, some don't realise they do it, some do it for innocent attention, some do it because they want someone...so in short, hard to know exactly why you do it.
I use this as ... (read in full...)
I don't feel safe alone at night and my BF acts like I am overreacting
Q. Question: I've been dating a guy off and on (mostly on) for about a year and a half, and it seems like things are going well enough. There are problems, but we're both in love. He's a good guy. Is it weird that he doesn't seem to worry much ab...
A. 31 May 2006: As a female who could be described as slightly paranoid about things like that I know exactly how you are feeling.
A young woman should not be wandering alone on the streets like that at that time of night, especially when all he needs to do is co... (read in full...)
He has a gf but he and I are going out on a date. Will we end up together as an item or will I be disappointed?.
Q. Hi,I met a guy a few weeks ago-there was some flirting and instant chemistry but was spoiled by the fact he has a girlfriend-but we are going to go out next week. I am coming to the end of my studies and so is he so in a few weeks time we shall be ...
A. 31 May 2006: Why is he going out on a date with you if he has a girlfriend?
Why do you want to date someone who already has a partner?
Why would you want to be with someone who obviously has no respect or honesty with his current partner?
I would cancel ... (read in full...)
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