Why do FWB get so possessive?
Q. Why do fwb get so possessive? I really never had a good experience, that's why I want to give up on it. Even pleasant conversation and flirting and cuddling goes away as soon as the sex starts. I've had several year long friendships go away as soon ...
A. 17 October 2023: I think you might have to take a hard look at HOW you (yourself) view sex.
What I mean by that is, if you see it as "something to do" with a casual partner (and yes a FWB is a casual partner in the sense that you give no investment or commitme... (read in full...)
Boyfriend told me that he doesn’t feel love, and I’m having a hard time with this.
Q. Hi Dear Cupid users, I’m glad I remembered what this site was as it’s been at least 15 years since I’ve browsed it. I’ve come back to ask for some advice. I’ve recently (about 6 months ago) found myself in a relationship with the man of my dreams...
A. 12 October 2023: I think your feelings are valid, OP
And you might find that ALL the things you initially liked about him isn't really something HE is willing to share with you. He might not BE the right guy for you.
We have all dated someone we "thought" was... (read in full...)
Boyfriend told me that he doesn’t feel love, and I’m having a hard time with this.
Q. Hi Dear Cupid users, I’m glad I remembered what this site was as it’s been at least 15 years since I’ve browsed it. I’ve come back to ask for some advice. I’ve recently (about 6 months ago) found myself in a relationship with the man of my dreams...
A. 10 October 2023: Feeling "butterflies" isn't the be-all or end-all when it comes to LOVE.
I think he is mature enough to want to be honest with you.
But I do understand why you feel hurt. If I heard that from my husband, I'd feel hurt too. I think that is na... (read in full...)
Our neighbors sold their house and never told us
Q. We lived next to our neighbors for 15 years and always had a good rapport so it came as a bit of a shock when my husband and I came back from 2 weeks away and found they had sold their house and we had new neighbors. They never mentioned ...
A. 10 October 2023: I can see why you think it's odd that they never told you, but again, it's their house and property and they can do as they please.
That is also a really quick sale.
Maybe they had serious financial problems and didn't want everyone to know... (read in full...)
How do we tell family we don't wish to celebrate with them during holidays
Q. My wife and I are unable to have kids. My wife, is a childhood cancer survivor and the treatment she went through made it impossible for her to have children. It's a sensitive subject that she doesn't like to talk about (she did tell me before we ...
A. 9 October 2023: I think you should ASK your wife if it's OK that you tell your parents about her childhood cancer so they will STOP asking about grandkids/nephews/nieces.
They ask because they don't KNOW. Not because they are mean or malicious!
Your wife is ... (read in full...)
How to live with a toxic parent?
Q. How to live with a toxic parent ? I am 38years old,…I am the first born of my fathers children 6(from my mother and (5 children are from different women).Our mother who was officially married to my dad unfortunately passed away 20 years ago whe...
A. 9 October 2023: You need legal advice, which we can not give you.
So you need to find a lawyer that deals with inheritance disputes (as the land was your late mother's).
If a lawyer can't make headway in this (your mom might not have put anything in a La... (read in full...)
Is it too late to learn basic social skills?
Q. I'm 24 and I feel like I've never learned social skills. Ironically, I was raises in a family where they were very strict, religious, big on manners and respect. For example, even if we were eating at a picnic with plastic silverware and paper ...
A. 9 October 2023: It's never too late. I have somewhat bad social skills around strangers. But I'm fine around friends and family.
You can practice your skills by :
Start in small ways.
Engage with others. So if you are out and about say hi to people. You do... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated and didn't use condoms. Why?
Q. Can somebody please tell me why my boyfriend cheated on me with someone and didn’t use a condom? I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few years. Our families know each other and we were at the stage of getting engaged. I was busy with work last Christ...
A. 3 October 2023: Why are you still with him?
He has no respect or regard for you! At all!
He was willing to have UNPROTECTED sex with another woman and bring back ANY STI or STD to you, without a second thought. He also thought "pulling out" was "safe enough... (read in full...)
How to deal with a jealous friend when our husbands work together?
Q. A couple of years ago I met the wife of one of my husbands colleagues and we hit it off and started hanging around with each other- drinks, cinema, dinner etc…. Unfortunately she seems a little jealous of the fact that I hang out with other f...
A. 2 October 2023: Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with this.
You are no longer in high school and you DO NOT OWE her your every waking moment.
I get that your husband doesn't want to rock the boat, but HE doesn't have to deal with her, YOU do!
Again, I ... (read in full...)
We are in love but worried what our families will think of our relationship
Q. I’m 40 and for just over a year I’ve been seeing a man who is 66. We are both divorced. I have no children (and not planning or wanting any). He has 2 grown up children and a 14 month old grandchild. We have kept our relationship quiet as we...
A. 2 October 2023: Well, I think HE should sit his kids down and let them know he has found someone he really cares about and he has been seeing her (aka YOU) for a year now.
Then meet them if they are willing.
I would say the "kids" need to know asap. Becau... (read in full...)
Do things for people but then I resent them. How can I learn to say no without feelin
Q. I realized that I have a habit of doing things for people because I feel pressured or it is "the right thing to do" but then I resent doing it and take it out on people. I realize that is an unhealthy thing to do because people know I resent the...
A. 2 October 2023: Practice.
The more you do it, the easier it gets.
I used to say yes to things I really didn't want to do - like babysitting when I had other plans, or cooking for a large crowd - being "voluntold" so to speak. My husband, especially, was ... (read in full...)
Colleague ruined spa day. Do I inform management of her behavior?
Q. My workplace paid for myself and a colleague to a spa day last week as we were the top 2 in our team with the highest sales records. Often they treat staff members who have hit target with things like this and this was both our first time. ...
A. 27 September 2023: I would go talk to your manager IN PRIVATE about her behavior.
Thank him for the spa day and also inform him that should you EVER "win" a spa day again, you will NOT want to go with HER.
Yes, her behavior reflects BADLY on your company so YES, ... (read in full...)
I think he's gone off of me
Q. I have been with my partner for 3 years, when wee meet he loved to party, joke and had a great sex life, he is in his late 40s never married or had kids but always worked hard and still does. So that was his life. I'm in my early 30s loved the young ...
A. 25 September 2023: I agree with the nonny who said:" Um, it kind of sounds to me like he decided he wanted to become an adult?"
Yes, he sounds like he has stepped up to the plate with you and your daughter as a father figure.
Not wanting to party or have people t... (read in full...)
Wife moves all my stuff around. How can I make her understand how much it bothers me?
Q. My wife and I have a very small house and we are both packrats in our own ways. For example, she has a thing with coffee mugs and has about 40 of them while I don’t use them at all but I have a lot of electronics accessories like cables, batterie...
A. 25 September 2023: How about the two of you sit down and have a talk about HOW to organize your OWN stuff?
As someone who likes to sew, embroider, and make jewelry, I have a lot of "things". It's organized and out of the way. My husband has his "stuff" organize... (read in full...)
I am missing my partner after our breakup
Q. I have recently left my partner, who I didn’t want to leave but the relationship was toxic. He blamed me for everything that was wrong, said I didn’t communicate with him. I did, but he didn’t want to listen or compromise on anything. We were ...
A. 24 September 2023: Consider your ex a "bad habit". While I get that you were with him and cared for him, HE didn't return those feelings at all.
What you miss are the GOOD times you had (I'm guessing you also HAD some good times).
Next time you feel like you mi... (read in full...)
Followup to post produce
Q. This is a follow up to my post on the 29th August “ Are we being harsh by no longer giving neighbors fresh produce as they seem to take advantage?” I wanted to thank everyone for backing us up and making us realize we weren’t being harsh for ...
A. 22 September 2023: Thank you for the update!
Well done! And the cheek of her!
There are plenty of ways to find homemade jam, while hers might be a good one you can find better.
Keep it up!
... (read in full...)
Suffering from PTSD from an event from my past
Q. I am in a bit of a mess emotionally and I am wondering what to do. I stupidly took part in a reality TV show 20 years ago. The footage is damaging bot to my wellbeing and my career and I wish to remove rights to broadcasting including airing...
A. 21 September 2023: Two things come to my mind.
1. ACCEPT your past. It's part of how you got to where you are now. Good AND bad. Proud moments and the embarrassing ones.
Once you get past your childhood EVERYONE has made mistakes. Everyone has things they are ... (read in full...)
Accused of bragging about my 2nd property at work
Q. My husband and i recently bought a 2nd property - it’s an apartment on the beach here in the UK. We’ve saved up and made sacrifices for years to be able to do this and are proud that we have been able to do so. At work last week a few ...
A. 19 September 2023: TALK to HR.
Whoever complained is an idiot and your manager is also an idiot!
Good for you for getting yourself a second property! You and your husband set a goal and you got it!
If someone is "buthurt" over this, they really need to get ... (read in full...)
Early friend dating and sensing a conflcit coming
Q. I have an inquiry about new friends. I try and be very open to different kinds of friends. I've seen people who are closed off and I feel they miss out on great people because they are so safety-concerned and any sign of remote conflict, sends them ...
A. 18 September 2023: Why would you want to be friends with someone whose life revolves around drink and drugs?
Especially, if that is not something you want in your life.
"How much do you keep the door open versus following your instinct?"
You listen to your ... (read in full...)
Dating a single parent with a teenager
Q. I am a single woman in my early 50s with no kids. I'm trying online dating which is a minefield. However over the last week I have made a good connection with a man in his late 50s. We have had two lengthy conversations this weekend on the phone. He ...
A. 18 September 2023: Well we all know teenagers are not the most rational creatures to begin with... And the fact that they have a really tight bond and do so many things together (which I awesome, I might add!) might mean that if she doesn't LIKE you, you will be ... (read in full...)
How can I make amends with my friend about the money?
Q. I’m currently feeling very guilty for accidentally misleading a friend regarding helping her out financially….. 18 months ago my friend was facing a potential situation where by she would need a solicitor and she was struggling to cover the cos...
A. 17 September 2023: Yep, I'm with Ciar and your husband!
"My husband thinks it’s her fault and not mine, for assuming incorrectly the money was still available."
What kind of AMENDs should you try and do? I mean you OFFERED the 1,000 for a SPECIFIC reason.... (read in full...)
Husband pulls away when I have a depression episode
Q. Hello, I have battled depression all my life, to the point where I've come very close to taking my own life a couple of times (most recent was 2 years ago after we had our baby). I'm on antidepressants and I exercise, eat fairly healthy and take...
A. 17 September 2023: If he has never dealt with depression, he probably doesn't REALLY understand how you feel.
While HE could be more understanding, there can be many reasons why he backs off when you are not doing good.
1. is that he thinks HE did something wr... (read in full...)
A for sale sign has caused much tension between neighbors
Q. So I want to start off by saying that I’m not one to suffer with anxiety and I’ve always considered myself strong and able to move on when rubbish happens but something that has happened recently has made me feel quite vulnerable…. I live in...
A. 13 September 2023: Wow, What a bunch of asshats you have for neighbors!!
Glad they are moving and I hope you get better neighbors on the sale of the house.
I think the neighbors did this on purpose. And in the beginning, you fell for it.
I don't know how the ... (read in full...)
How do I handle working with someone like this?
Q. Hello! I have a bit of a work issue right now I’d love some advice on. I’m a creative and work on a few different brands in my job which has a set number of people working on each of them and whilst I lead on the brands, I have someone with ...
A. 12 September 2023: "I’ve told my manager very bluntly that I’m having trouble working with him,"
Your manager needs to step up.
TALK to your manager AGAIN. Ask for CLEAR boundaries to be set. If your manager wants YOU to deal with this on your own, ask for a m... (read in full...)
Is he depressed, toxic or is it me ruining the relationship as he says it is.
Q. I moved in with my partner a year ago and things are becoming toxic in our relationship. I walk on eggshells most days with him. I am always trying to make him happy and putting him first. He’s a very negative person (glass always half empty) blames ...
A. 12 September 2023: Move out, girl, and dump this guy.
No, it's not you. No wonder he doesn't have any friends and he is isolating you from seeing YOUR friends. No good.
Is he depressed? maybe.
Is he toxic, FOR sure.
Is it all YOUR fault? Well, the fact t... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if my friend is jealous?
Q. Does my friend seem jealous? We are both female single never married and in our late 30s. We met because we work together. The other day I asked her about dating and she said she was not interested and was going to focus on work. A couple weeks ...
A. 12 September 2023: "So is she jealous or maybe have some sort of crush on me? "
I'd guess not to both.
Her world doesn't revolve around you. Whether you go on a date or like someone's looks at work. I mean what is she supposed to do with that info? And as you... (read in full...)
Should I confront my friend about not inviting me to her engagement party?
Q. Can you please advise if I should confront my friend or not over something that has left me feeling upset. We’ve been friends for around 15 years, she was my bridesmaid at my wedding a few years ago, she even told me she was pregnant before ...
A. 11 September 2023: I forgot to ask, if she asks you why you are so busy all of a sudden or who you RSVP's can't come to her wedding, tell her you saw ALL the other friends who were "good enough" to invite and that you do not appreciate being lied to and treated like a ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my friend about not inviting me to her engagement party?
Q. Can you please advise if I should confront my friend or not over something that has left me feeling upset. We’ve been friends for around 15 years, she was my bridesmaid at my wedding a few years ago, she even told me she was pregnant before ...
A. 11 September 2023: I don't think so.
It's her wedding, her engagement party. She can invite whomever she likes - she just shouldn't have LIED to you.
Was the party one with a lot of drinking? And you don't drink?
Are you significantly younger or old... (read in full...)
How can I let my Kenyan friend down without hurting him?
Q. Hello, I used to communicate alot with someone from Kenya years ago. I considered him to be a good online friend. However, I got into a relationship with someone and we didn't talk as much. Recently he messaged me and I'm now single a...
A. 11 September 2023: No, is a complete sentence.
Know that.
If he keeps bringing up being in a relationship you might have to be more "firm" - as in - I ONLY see you as a friend and I value this friendship but if you can not JUST be my friend I think we might n... (read in full...)
My mum's friend is a bad customer
Q. I’m really annoyed at my mums friend for messing me about and also at my mum as she is siding with her friend!!! Last year i started making and selling some items- jewelry, hats, bags etc… My mums friend who I’ve only met a handful of times...
A. 10 September 2023: Your mother is enabling this woman to try and take advantage of you.
"you could’ve let her have the stuff and got paid later”
No, that is not how you run a business. If you KNEW the lady well and she was trustworthy, then MAYBE but she had alre... (read in full...)
How to let him down gently
Q. Before the summer, I ask my ex to give me some space as i was feeling overwhelmed by our interactions. It felt very unbalanced, as he was in love with me then and I wasn’t with him. He wanted to keep having long talks but for me I really needed to ...
A. 10 September 2023: "he will accuse me of ghosting or avoidancy."
That is HIS issue, isn't it?
Next time you talk let him know you need to cut contact for YOUr mental health and future, that you wish him ALL the best but you need a clean break. That you will bl... (read in full...)
How do I tell my brother and his wife that I'm moving out of state?
Q. My brother, his wife and I live on the same street. My brother and I have always been close. I am single and work from home. I rent while my brother owns his home. About 4 months ago, my brother and sister-in-law announced that the...
A. 10 September 2023: I would let them know now so they can make other plans.
It is NOT your problem that they are having a child. They need to figure out childcare that isn't your problem unless you OFFERED to watch the baby.
Poor planning on their behalf doesn't m... (read in full...)
Dating for 2 months and I asked where this is headed
Q. I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months now. I really like him and feel like things were going really well. I finally thought I’d met someone special. I however asked him where he saw this going and he said he didn’t know I feel really upset and ...
A. 5 September 2023: Well, I think it's OK to not be sure after only 2 months. But I also think not having sexual relations UNTIL you feel like THIS is your person is a good idea.
You can't always know if another person is going to be good long-term within a couple o... (read in full...)
I'm wondering whether I made the right decision in changing gynocologists. What do you guys think?
Q. I'm wondering whether I made the right decision in changing gynocologists. What do you guys think? I have a polyp. My usual specialist is away, so I booked with another. I'm sitting in the waiting room and a man phones to ask if he can spea...
A. 30 August 2023: Go back to your regular Gyno.
Doesn't sound like a very professional clinic.
I will say this though, you could have said no when she suggested she dialte you to check it out. And then booked on with your regular gyno. You don't OWE her to check... (read in full...)
How to approach neighbor who takes our flowers without asking?
Q. 8 months ago we had a lovely foreign family move in opposite us. The lady is a cake maker and she showed me a portfolio of all her cakes and they look amazing. On a couple of occasions she has asked to use our flowers that we have in our fron...
A. 29 August 2023: "We don’t want to upset her or anything "..
SHE knows this. That is why she got so bold.
Go over and tell her she has been setting off your CCTV alarm when she comes over and "helps" herself to your flowers. That you do not want her taking ... (read in full...)
Are we being harsh by no longer giving neighbors fresh produce as they seem to take advantage?
Q. My husband and i last year took over my parents allotment. We’ve been very fortunate that we always have an abundance of fresh produce such as lettuce, cucumbers, onions, apples, figs, strawberries, carrots, cabbage etc…. So often we will give ...
A. 29 August 2023: "I know it probably sounds petty but we feel they are taking advantage of us."
I don't think it's petty AT ALL!
And yes, it's quite common that when someone gives you FREE anything you say thank you, and then IF you can you return the favor... (read in full...)
Radio silence did I do something wrong?
Q. Hey there, I've got a bit of a situation on my hands that I could use some advice on. There's this amazing girl I've had a massive crush on, and she's a customer at the comic shop where I work. I've always liked her, but since she's a customer...
A. 27 August 2023: Either she is painfully shy, playing games or she isn't as interested as you first thought.
I will say this though,
Why would she call to let you know she had been in an accident? She was a customer?! I mean I wouldn't call any of the places I ... (read in full...)
My friend chose her friend with kids over me, who has no kids!
Q. 5 months ago my friend and I took her 8 year old twins for a day out, for a picnic. On our way there my friend told me that another friend of hers (a mother from the twins school) with her 2 kids would be joining us. I’ve only met this w...
A. 23 August 2023: "Now I’m questioning if I even want her back in my life seeing as she was quick enough to leave me out!"
I think you SHOULD question this friendship.
She dropped you like an anchor for a "new" friend to avoid "awkwardness"... Her kids would h... (read in full...)
What can I do to be less shy around boys?
Q. I am 17 years old (soon to be 18), and have never, ever been close to being in a relationship. Not once. I really cannot figure out why, I am a bit nervous around guys but not in a way thats weird or anything, I'm just a bit shy. It's not because ...
A. 22 August 2023: Practice.
Just start by saying hi and doing some small talk.
You don't have to ONLY talk to guys you are romantically interested in. If you go grab a coffee, talk to people. It doesn't have to be a deep conversation.
Weather, sports, musi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lied and I feel like our intimacy is diminishing
Q. My girlfriend is pregnant first trimester. We havent been doing sexually anything and its frustrating but im trying to be considerate. I know my girlfriend watches porn. I asked her a few times and ive tried talking to her that its ok to tell m...
A. 19 August 2023: You two need to actually talk.
First of all, IF she "wants" to "play" with herself (without you) THAT is ENTIRELY her right, it's her body. (just as YOU can"play" with yourself if you want).
Second of all, she is pregnant, so she might not FE... (read in full...)
Why is my fwb being so disrespectful
Q. I've been seeing a FWB for sometime. We do things together. Hang out, go out in his boat, go to dinner sometimes. Lately he seems irritated by something. We went to his condo on the beach in his truck. It was really a hot day. I asked if he could ...
A. 19 August 2023: "FYI, I haven't slept with him for sometime because I want a relationship. He does not. "
I think you need to walk away from this guy. An FWB is NOT going to turn into a relationship because YOU want a relationship.
You two are not on the same ... (read in full...)
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