Husband doesn't seem to be aware of his mother being nasty to me
Q. I have been with my husband 21 years and married for 18 years. We do not have children. His mother has never been very kind to me although my husband cannot see it. He is extremely close with his family and won’t accept his mother could ever do ...
A. 3 January 2024: Urgh, I'm sorry you are dealing with a Monster-in Law.
Firstly, accept that you CAN NOT change how she acts (neither can your husband).
She signs the cards with Mom, because she KNOWS it annoys you. And because she knows you DO not see her a "m... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a life and place that is a dead end
Q. First of all, here's wishing everyone a very happy new year! I have been married for 8 years and have a beautiful, intelligent 7 year old daughter. I guess my problem, if I can call it, is my relationship with my husband and the entire situation...
A. 1 January 2024: Have you sat your husband down and talked about wanting to move?
And why can't you have holidays with your child and husband?!
You don't sound like you know how to be a supportive wife at all. Nor do you know how to communicate.
... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my crush
Q. I'm in university right now and I have a crush on someone from another major.. I confessed to him but through our university anonymous confession channel. Now he knew that somebody like him.. But how do I text him first?? Like we never even talk to ...
A. 26 December 2023: Nope.
You don't even know if he already has a GF.
Start by saying hi when you see him in public. If he is receptive to a greeting (and has time), then perhaps try with a little conversation.
Also, why wouldn't you want him to know that YO... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's admission of cheating has left me uncertain
Q. Hello My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship about a year. He just admitted because of my work schedule he cheated once with an older woman he met online. He was very casual about it when telling me. I suspected something was up...
A. 24 December 2023: Well, is cheating a deal breaker or not, to you?
If it is, wish him well and tell him it's over. AKA kick him to the curb.
If you are FINE with being cheated on then continue dating him.
The fact that he is trying to push responsibility of H... (read in full...)
He cheated we broke up and now he wants to be mates
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend of a few years and I feel devastated. I really thought he was the one. I thought he was amazing and we had so many lovely times together and I thought we’d get married etc and I was so happy and I told him ...
A. 23 December 2023: "What would you do?"
I would STOP accepting responsibility for THEIR actions.
Unless you have any financial ties to EITHER of them, I would let them know that you are cutting them out of your life, like the CANCEROUS tumors they are.
Of ... (read in full...)
I am interested in him but is a married coworker also interested in him?
Q. They are supposedly 'just friends' but I have possibly noticed a few things but will focus on asking about one. Whenever I am at work and dressed really nice, looking pretty or what some would consider 'sexy' she goes out of her office to talk and ...
A. 14 December 2023: I can tell you from both experience and from other friends who have been in this kind of friendships that it's not unheard off that a male and female coworker are full of banter and fun. It makes the work day go faster.
If they were really g... (read in full...)
What should I do about the feelings I have towards a coworker?
Q. I(28M) work in a small organisation with a handful of people in the team. I'm the most senior person in the group and we all report to the owner of the organisation. About half a year back a girl joined our organisation. She is a very polite and ...
A. 14 December 2023: Personally? With how many companies deal with "romance" in the work place these days I would NOT do or say a thing about your feelings.
I would stick to being professional at work.
1. you are her "superior".
2. You are a male.
3. you do... (read in full...)
I seem to keep falling for men who are unavailable
Q. Hey guys.. so I stumbled upon this site a while ago.. I have a question for all the agony aunts and uncles here .. I don't know if something's genuinely wrong with me.. But whenever I am attracted to a guy , to his looks, his body language...
A. 5 December 2023: Unfortunately, OP, we like what we like.
How is your relationship with your dad?
Sometimes (quite often actually) women pick men with similar traits as their dads. So it can be you are "picking" the wrong guy for you because his traits are l... (read in full...)
Is my husband being secretive about time spent with his ex?
Q. Hello. My partner has been separated from his wife for coming up 7years. We have been together for 5. They separated on good terms not great terms and talk every now and then as they sometimes reach out with work networking and general how you doing ...
A. 5 December 2023: "Should I ask his why he failed to mention it to me. It just seems deliberate."
You should ask him, but TRY not to make it sound accusatory when you do.
And YES, I do think it's deliberate. Maybe not in the way you think, maybe he mistakenly th... (read in full...)
There are rumours at work that I fancy my female co-worker
Q. I thought I befriended a female coworker. I am also female and we work in a school. I admired her because we were similar in age, family background, and she is in a position I hope to eventually be in. I initially did not like her but then liked her ...
A. 4 December 2023: Let me put it this way, IF you had been a man this would have been a HUGE deal, you might even have gotten fired.
But you are not, so you got a "warning" instead.
You need to leave this woman ALONE.
when you write:" I initially did not like... (read in full...)
How do I know when to assist my blind girlfriend
Q. This girl I started dating is blind (she is low vision blind, not total blind). Like, if I am standing in front of her, with the lights on, she can see that I am there but if I am standing on the other side of a room, she will not be able to see ...
A. 4 December 2023: Ask HER to clarify when she needs help. We can't tell you, only she can.... (read in full...)
My dance partner has been behaving strangely with me
Q. I have a friend who is also my dance partner and we have been dancing together for a year. We're extremely close, and most people tend to think we're in a relationship and we keep having to tell them we're not. He is married and he has a daughte...
A. 3 December 2023: Absolutely agree with Kenny,
Find a new dance partner (maybe someone NOT married) And block this guy, he is weird.... (read in full...)
Do I need to be more ambitious in life?
Q. I’ve been at my current workplace for almost 18 years. Im 40. I’ve had a couple of promotions (nothing fancy) and I get to work on different projects which varies and to be honest I admit I’m settled and happy and have no desire to find ...
A. 30 November 2023: "Do I need to be more ambitious in life? Do people see me as boring?"
Not unless YOU want to and who cares?!
I think working for the same company for years, decades show dedication and trust in the product and company. What is wrong with that?... (read in full...)
Ex contacted me to wish me a Happy Birthday
Q. So about 2 months ago I came here and asked a question regarding about going to therapy about a girl I was romantically involved with leaving me. I come back ask the situation with her has changed entirely that I've had what can only describe as an ...
A. 30 November 2023: "Now my question back to everyone: should I ever consider going back to her?"
Probably not.
Even if what you had was VERY short-lived there is baggage here. Baggage you do not need.
Because YOU will remember and perhaps your "old self" ... (read in full...)
Ex contacted me to wish me a Happy Birthday
Q. So about 2 months ago I came here and asked a question regarding about going to therapy about a girl I was romantically involved with leaving me. I come back ask the situation with her has changed entirely that I've had what can only describe as an ...
A. 29 November 2023: Maybe she was just testing the waters OP.
Or it just wasn't that deep.
I think if you feel she wasn't GOOD for you to be around, you ought to block her and ignore her from now on.
Keep working on yourself and let go of this ex. Don't let he... (read in full...)
What would you have done in this situation?
Q. A 40 year old married woman, let’s say her name is Mrs J went to her friends Mrs M house for bday get to gather after playing bingo w/ the girls. The people who was suppose to be at Mrs M house was Mrs J, Mrs M, Mrs L(single). The bday girl’s guy ...
A. 29 November 2023: Uh tough one. Well, not really.
While I get Mr. J's sentiment of *you should have called I would come get you* - I get why she stayed when there was a 10-year-old girl in the house. At least until the mother got back, once SHE was back, I would ha... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating is too clingy
Q. I've been dating a guy for the last few months, we've had sex and he was a virgin. I have a history of sexual abuse which I have told him about and told him sometimes I need a bit of space around sex or I feel pushed and suffocated. He said he ...
A. 29 November 2023: Is this normal? Do guys need to be told exactly?
No, it's perhaps "normal" for a "rookie" but what ISN'T "normal" is his total disregard for your boundaries.
NO is a complete sentence. And no means no. Not, "try harder" or "ignore her wish... (read in full...)
Controlling & jealous boyfriend and the man I fancy at my local hangout
Q. I have a boyfriend for 6 years now and while we have a great relationship, his very jealousy and controlling …A few months back I broke it off because of his constant jealousy tantrums…I was also going through some personal family issues (my only ...
A. 26 November 2023: So your solution to your OWN bad behavior is to act like your BF who has "constant jealousy tantrums"?
I mean, really?!
It doesn't make any sense!
You are a GROWN up not a tween! ACT like a grown up!
Stop going to the bar. The waiter int... (read in full...)
I've fallen for an alcoholic
Q. Hello. I’m at such a loss, I’ve really fallen deeply in love with a man (we’ll call him Larry) who is an alcoholic. I try to tell myself that it isn’t an issue, but deep down I guess it always will be won’t it? I have known Larry for a long tim...
A. 22 November 2023: You can bring it up to him that you feel he needs to seek help, that YOU would like for him to stick around for decades to come and it's not likely he will with his drinking.
HE has to make the choice to get help and stop drinking. Unfortun... (read in full...)
Am I wrong not allowing my family to stay at my house during the holidays?
Q. About 20 years ago, I went low contact with my parents and my older brother. My dad favored my brother and expected me to look up to my brother like you would expect to see on TV. My brother ended up thinking it was OK to go into my bedroom and t...
A. 22 November 2023: No, you did the right thing (FOR YOU)
Sounds like you parents are still as entitled to your stuff and time.
Offering to pay for a hotel is totally fine. You didn't tell them to stay in the hotel room all day. It was just WHERE they needed to g... (read in full...)
Women love experienced men, what do novices do?
Q. I've noticed a lot of women love men who are experienced. A lot of them say it's a turn on and a preference. So I have to ask; where does that leave guys with none or limited? You can't gain experience when you're not being given a chance. ...
A. 17 November 2023: I think you are generalizing.
I think women WANT someone who is willing to "give" and much as they "take".
There is absolutely NO guarantee that a guy with "experience" is a better lover than some guy who takes the time to find out what their p... (read in full...)
Tired of being a bank
Q. Hi, So, I met someone online. We chatted for about 7 months before I went to visit him. He was going to come to see me, but his visa was declined. Before I first met him, he would ask for money. Usually, it is about 300 or 400 monthly. I sent...
A. 17 November 2023: Sounds like a Nigerian romance scam. (google it)
He is just using you. Part for "telling you" how much he cares about you, he is just keeping you sweet so you will send money.
You ARE being taken advantage off. Because you LET him.
Be HONES... (read in full...)
I just want peace not drama
Q. This will be a bit long winded so I apologise in advance I (female 36) was contacted a few months ago by my estranged sister (41) on social media. I will admit I felt my anxiety spike when I saw a message from her. We have always had a rock...
A. 17 November 2023: Remember this,
YOU do not OWE your mom or your sister ANYTHING. Not contact, not sympathy, not an ear to whine at. Nothing.
If you feel life is BETTER (for you) without your sister, I would be honest with her and let her know that you don't w... (read in full...)
Should I see a therapist or move out of the area?
Q. I have a 'partner' who I have been 'with' for 30 years, since I was 26 years old. I am now 56, he is 51. I apologise sincerely for the very long post but I am at my wits end and don't know how to summarise things concisely. When we met I was go...
A. 16 November 2023: Glad you clarified "moving out of the area" :)
Yes, it would make a lot more sense to be closer to your daughter and grandchild IF you can find accommodations and a job that pays enough for you to live on.
Still, I think your first priority s... (read in full...)
Should I see a therapist or move out of the area?
Q. I have a 'partner' who I have been 'with' for 30 years, since I was 26 years old. I am now 56, he is 51. I apologise sincerely for the very long post but I am at my wits end and don't know how to summarise things concisely. When we met I was go...
A. 13 November 2023: Start with a therapist and go get a full checkup at your GP.
Save up, if you can find a job you can do.
Exercise if you can. Nothing over the top, but go for long walks, a run or to a gym (if possible). Working out can help "energize." you.... (read in full...)
Friends daughter has put me in awkward situation. Do I tell the truth?
Q. I absolutely regret trying to help a friends daughter as she has behaved so poorly! I’m part of an amateur dramatic club - we put on various theatre productions at our local theatre. My friends daughter (19) is currently studying theater make up ...
A. 13 November 2023: I forgot to add
I would NEVER let this friend's daughter come back and "help".
... (read in full...)
Friends daughter has put me in awkward situation. Do I tell the truth?
Q. I absolutely regret trying to help a friends daughter as she has behaved so poorly! I’m part of an amateur dramatic club - we put on various theatre productions at our local theatre. My friends daughter (19) is currently studying theater make up ...
A. 13 November 2023: "Shall I just be blunt and tell her the truth about how her daughter behaved or shall I just let things go?"
Absolutely BE BLUNT.
And then give her some pointers on what WOULD be appropriate in the future.
I volunteered at the High ... (read in full...)
Grandmother of family I'm a nanny for is making things difficullt
Q. Hello, I am writing this to get help in terms of my job. I work as a nanny. I have worked in the field for 10 years. I don't expect any job to be perfect. I have had positions that involved a difficult parent, but have always been able to work out a ...
A. 7 November 2023: Find another job.
ASAP
The baby can be a darling little thing, but that is beside the point. IF they want grandma to take care of the baby, then SHE can take care of the baby.
If the mother of the baby CAN NOT talk to her mom and the fathe... (read in full...)
Why did she randomly change her number
Q. When I met my so she was seeing a guy just as a hook up. Take note she had been hooking up for 6 years racking up around 600 men. She was dealing with a lot of life trauma and drugs and sex were her distraction from life. Anyway when we first go...
A. 7 November 2023: I think you should perhaps reconsider WHY you are with her in the first place.
You don't trust her.
And probably because she has quite the background.
Are you staying with her because you love her? Or because you feel you have to "prove"... (read in full...)
Mistrust my 'friend' and have intuition that she's playing on my insecurities
Q. It's been a long while since having to deal with this type of issue, but I feel that one of my 'friends' isn't too much of a good friend! Have noticed in more recent time that she somewhat seems to like playing on my insecurities! Th...
A. 31 October 2023: Instead of TESTING your friend, ASK her directly next times she gives a "dig" at you. Ask her to clarify. In a non-aggressive way. Play dumb and curious. THAT is what I would do.
If she then tries to gaslight, you or make it seem innocent... (read in full...)
I think he fancies me but I just want to be friends
Q. I have a guy friend I care about and close to. Sometimes I feel he may be interested in me as more than a friend even though I stress our friendship so it may frustrate him I noticed sometimes in our conversations he will end it stop being as respo...
A. 30 October 2023: You don't seem to understand that HE made friends with YOU in order to get to know you and for YOU to see HIM as a potential BF at some point.
He doesn't want to hear you gush about other men, do that with your GF's.
You "think" he is yo... (read in full...)
Double standards Co worker reported me for speaking inappropriately
Q. I have a hard time explaining to people that my primary reason for not wanting to date or have a relationship is because I don't want sex stuff - including kissing. I generally don't even like touching skin (even my own thighs or armpits touching is ...
A. 28 October 2023: Reported you for what exactly?
And if it was reported did someone TALK to you and hear your side?
It makes no sense, whatsoever.
But maybe keep private matters out of the work place around that coworker, she seems off.
... (read in full...)
Difficult parents to support
Q. Hello, I am very tired dealing with my mum because she has been complaining about my dad and the marriages for years. They have been married for more than 50 years and she never been happy but have stayed with him, He is very controlling, she...
A. 26 October 2023: I think she just wants to vent. Now, if you don't want to listen to it (over and over again), find a reason to get off the phone.
Would one of you/your siblings be willing to take her in and have her live with you? If so, I would suggest that. Sh... (read in full...)
Ex still in the picture
Q. Hello, I've been seeing a guy for since his divorce, about 1 year. He's had several doctor visits recently in which he needed a ride home because of a sedative given. I've offered every time to take and pick him up as I was available the days of his ...
A. 25 October 2023: "I did ask. He said "If you don't know why you must be stupid""
Wow! I would say, nice to have known you, we are done, then cut all contact and block him.
... (read in full...)
I think my husband likes my friend
Q. I think my husband (common law for 11 years; don’t ask why we haven’t gotten married I don’t know either) likes my friend. I noticed when we went on vacation he would suggest her presence where we were gonna be. I don’t doubt her at all, she’s a ...
A. 23 October 2023: The BOTH owe you loyalty - but only your BF owe your faithfulness.
Your friend doesn't seem interested in him and is doing the right thing.. almost.
Has she told you that he is being "overly friendly"? That he is lowkey hitting on her? Or is he... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being friend-zoned by girls I like
Q. I'm sick of being friendzoned by girls I like. I know there's a difference between friendship and friendzone too. Friendzoned is when you go out of your way to show someone you'd make a great boyfriend/girlfriend, they soak...
A. 23 October 2023: I can only imagine the frustration here, OP
However, if this has happened several times maybe you need to change how you approach women (not girls, I hope).
Be upfront that you are looking to find a partner, not another friend from the beginni... (read in full...)
Ex still in the picture
Q. Hello, I've been seeing a guy for since his divorce, about 1 year. He's had several doctor visits recently in which he needed a ride home because of a sedative given. I've offered every time to take and pick him up as I was available the days of his ...
A. 23 October 2023: Ask him, we can't know - we can only guess.
Maybe she was available and didn't have to take off work (whereas you might have to take off work to do this? and he didn't want you to be inconvenienced?)
Some people stay friends after an amicabl... (read in full...)
My ex has finally been able to cut daughter out of my life
Q. I'm at another crisis point in my mental health!!!!!!!!!! Have experienced parental alienation at another low blow point... my ex has officially decided to cut me out of our daughters life and has blocked contact... Don't know how I've survi...
A. 20 October 2023: I'm so sorry you have gone though that kind of hell. Is it possible to give up your parental rights? So, you are no longer responsible financially either?
I feel sorry for you kid, (depending on her age) your ex has her mind so warped that she... (read in full...)
FWB not working out and I want more
Q. I stopped sleeping with FWB recently because he insulted me. He said I wanted more and was into drama because I questioned him about a woman that was in his vehicle (ex wife) because they had to take care of a bank issue. Not questioning WHY she was ...
A. 18 October 2023: You want more from your FWB, he doesn't so he created a situation that made you upset.
FWB is more often than not a BAD idea.
Friends should remain friends, not someone you sleep with cause you are single, horny or bored.
If you want to ... (read in full...)
Whirlwind vacationship gone wrong
Q. Thank you all for reading my story: I am 35 years old, and on a recent trip to the Pacific, I met a man 10 years older and we fell in love. After a brief week together, we parted ways, only to reunite in Thailand weeks later to see where things...
A. 17 October 2023: Nope, let him go.
He wasn't as into YOU as he was into what you could OFFER to him.
If I were you, I'd wish him well and block him on all fronts.
Just like you do not go back to a "dud" firework you DO NOT go back with a "dud" partner.
... (read in full...)
Why do FWB get so possessive?
Q. Why do fwb get so possessive? I really never had a good experience, that's why I want to give up on it. Even pleasant conversation and flirting and cuddling goes away as soon as the sex starts. I've had several year long friendships go away as soon ...
A. 17 October 2023: I think you might have to take a hard look at HOW you (yourself) view sex.
What I mean by that is, if you see it as "something to do" with a casual partner (and yes a FWB is a casual partner in the sense that you give no investment or commitme... (read in full...)
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