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*uce00 agony aunt

*uce00

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*uce00's profile:

Hey folks!

Ive had a very rich life and learned many many lessons, both good and bad. I hope to give some good advice and also take some when needed.

Best wishes to all!

Duce

< Prev1234567891011Next > [10 pages, 377 answers]

I feel men lack a moral compass

Q.   I have issues with men and am not really sure what else can be done. I dont like feeling this way and dont hate men but I simply feel that the majority of them lack a moral compass. I look around the world and see rapes and murders daily on the news ...

A.   3 November 2009: Very eloquent R&B. I have gotten more wisdom from my dog than most of the people around me (no joke). Thats not even a diss on people as much as its a compliment to my dog. I wish more women were like dogs! ... (read in full...)

Why are men so reluctant to commit?

Q.   Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...

A.   3 November 2009: Feel free to PM me. I dont want to get way off topic with this thread but it would be nice to share our tales and compare notes. ... (read in full...)

Why are men so reluctant to commit?

Q.   Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...

A.   3 November 2009: Thanks for the good wishes. We are getting along just fine. Being a single parent is very challenging as you know and it really puts a different spin on the points being made here. By the way I am widowed not divorced. Only one marriage and one ... (read in full...)

Why are men so reluctant to commit?

Q.   Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...

A.   2 November 2009: Yeah Mr.Q! You big meanie! I was stuffing my foot in my mouth way before you came along! Get in line mister! This post really hit a nerve for me as it did for alot of other folks. R&B2, I have to apologize to you for taking the brunt of some of ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him about my past with this other guy?

Q.   I have been "talking" to a scorpio guy I like for a couple months now, but we aren't together in any way. We have hung out 3 times away from work, and we both have feelings for each other. Before me and him met, I had a sexual relationship with a ...

A.   2 November 2009: What Sis said and one more thing. You really shouldn't date or screw where you work for what should now be obvious reasons. ... (read in full...)

I am 37..my husband is 34. Is this a big age difference?

Q.   Hey there it is me again, so being 37, AND MY HUSBAND BEING 35, do u think the age difference is to much? i am just tired of all the immature jerks that i have dated in the past, they have cheated on me, lied and used me,who knows what they want ...

A.   2 November 2009: No offense but you dont sound like you are 35 by what you said. You are married, why even bring up the guys in the past, they became irrelevant as soon as you said "I do". You said that you just want somebody to love you at the end of your pos... (read in full...)

Why are men so reluctant to commit?

Q.   Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...

A.   2 November 2009: Welcome to the single parent club. I have been on my own with my daughter for 5yrs too. As another single parent who had to learn some of the same things, here are a few things I learned. -Do not introduce you child to anybody you date until y... (read in full...)

Mistreated sexually in a shop! What should I have done?

Q.   I went to a shop the other week somewhere in Northwest England (not saying where), was looking at buying some new electronics for my husband, and asked a saleswoman for advice. She then asked me to come over to her desk, to discuss it, which I did, ...

A.   2 November 2009: I am sorry but I was somewhat amused and titillated by the visual on this one until I thought of it in terms of a guy doing this with me. Ughhh like Jack Black doing a strip tease...funny, but...ewwwwwww! You can report it but honestly I think... (read in full...)

Why do I feel a sense of rejection with her?

Q.   Hi here's my problem -- I feel sick and upset even thinking about the fact that other men have slept with my girlfriend. She is 18 and I am 20. I fell deeply in love with her the day that I met her two years ago, but it took her 5 months to feel t...

A.   2 November 2009: I think most guys fall hard with they're first love. Its like dreaming of flying for years then one day you are hurled through the sky trying to get your bearings and struggling not get a little scared when you look down. By the way it is like that ... (read in full...)

I feel men lack a moral compass

Q.   I have issues with men and am not really sure what else can be done. I dont like feeling this way and dont hate men but I simply feel that the majority of them lack a moral compass. I look around the world and see rapes and murders daily on the news ...

A.   2 November 2009: Gosh, I am really sorry to be this blunt but do you really think that the reason YOU are single is because so many men have broken moral compasses? My moral compass is in pretty good shape and one of the its functions is detecting women who are ... (read in full...)

Why are men so reluctant to commit?

Q.   Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...

A.   2 November 2009: I know I came off rather charged up but I am glad you could see my point. I will be honest about what runs through a mans head regarding commitment. I imagine it is similar for women but obviously with different priorities. Most men want... (read in full...)

Why are men so reluctant to commit?

Q.   Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...

A.   1 November 2009: Such a great post and the responses have been quite interesting. I hope the poster takes my 2 cents in the spirit of blatant honesty rather than disgruntled anger at some of the respondents. What I found highly amusing in all this was how many... (read in full...)

Does she look at other men? Is she lying to me?

Q.   I feel terrible. I do not know what to do. I have accused my girlfriend time after time after time of looking at other men and she always insists that she doesn't. But I see her looking around whenever we are outside, so she has to be judging and ...

A.   1 November 2009: Women don't look at men in Spain? I imagine they don't fart or belch there either. So do the men in Spain never admire the female form? Has anybody told you about Santa and the Easter bunny yet? You will have to pardon me for being extremel... (read in full...)

Am I unreasonable to ask to see his email.

Q.   My spouse has in the recent past had an affair. He hides his income He tells me that it is none of my business. i have no access to, or knowledge of his income. He tells me that it is not my business who he knows or what he does, and that i just ...

A.   31 October 2009: I hope this whole experience has given you the motivation you need to dump this sack of crap like a bad habit. This thing has been blown wide open right here in front of all of us and he has not done a single follow up. What does that tell you... (read in full...)

Should privacy still be allowed even although you're married?

Q.   My spouse and I are at odd ends! I want to know if it is wrong of me to not give my spouse my email password. I have been told time and again that when you are married your not allowed to have personal email's or anything that is not disclosed. My ...

A.   31 October 2009: Ohhh Mr Q. Why must you continue to be so kind to this guy. See, what we have here is what every man who has been burned secretly dreams of. We cant take our aggressions out on women when they are dishonest and unfaithful. When we see a man do the ... (read in full...)

Should privacy still be allowed even although you're married?

Q.   My spouse and I are at odd ends! I want to know if it is wrong of me to not give my spouse my email password. I have been told time and again that when you are married your not allowed to have personal email's or anything that is not disclosed. My ...

A.   31 October 2009: OK I am pissed off at you now! Flame away everybody but I don't give a shit. Mister- You are yanking our chains here and I for one don't take kindly to it. This half truth, half assed attempt for sympathy will not fly here any more. Real me... (read in full...)

Am I unreasonable to ask to see his email.

Q.   My spouse has in the recent past had an affair. He hides his income He tells me that it is none of my business. i have no access to, or knowledge of his income. He tells me that it is not my business who he knows or what he does, and that i just ...

A.   31 October 2009: Holy group therapy Batman! I replied to his post and then saw this. I feel like I got duped! Well it is not really about Email accounts anymore now is it? I think it is interesting that this is unfolding here with all of us but I believe th... (read in full...)

Should privacy still be allowed even although you're married?

Q.   My spouse and I are at odd ends! I want to know if it is wrong of me to not give my spouse my email password. I have been told time and again that when you are married your not allowed to have personal email's or anything that is not disclosed. My ...

A.   31 October 2009: So simple to solve. Get your own private yahoo or gmail account right now. There, done! Now as for being open and honest about everything. That is simple too. You don't have to discuss or divulge everything and you shouldn't if it is not directly... (read in full...)

How do I sort my head out and get back on track?

Q.   Hello, i would be very grateful if you could read this and not judge. I just dont know whats wrong with me, my head is so messed up. I am 17 years old and i am currently studying my A2 levels (loads of work), i just recently passed my driving ...

A.   31 October 2009: What you are feeling is actually normal I think. I hope you don't feel I am being too flip but I sincerely mean it. I think your feelings are magnified because you have taken to beating yourself up about it all and that is what is probably hurting ... (read in full...)

Why it is Important for him to earn your Love

Q.   The other day I had a thought and decided to write it down. I had several women write to me regarding this thought and so I decided maybe I should post it here for those of you women who wonder what it takes to make a man stay with you forever. T...

A.   31 October 2009: This is a 2-way street. Women need to earn our love and respect too, and some of them don't deserve it any more than the type of man you described. Plenty of guys post on this site about working so hard to please a woman only to get treated ... (read in full...)

How do I know if my girlfriend loves me?

Q.   How do I know if my girlfriend loves me? She as been giving me signals as if she don't want me...but I spoke with her and she said if I didn't like you I would tell you directly. Another thing is she has college n I work full time. To add to it she ...

A.   31 October 2009: When you find yourself going from one woman to the next while still licking your wounds from the last one your doing something wrong. This is called "rebound". You are not really taking your time to build a relationship you are seeking to fill an ... (read in full...)

Should I beg for a second chance, and hope its all a phase on her part?

Q.   Im just here to vent. It's prolly obvious that it's over and nothing can be done. I fell in love with this girl years ago... gave her everything I had, planned my future around her, would do anything for her. I looked forward to spending the rest of ...

A.   31 October 2009: Hang in there buddy. This part always hurts, breakups are never a cakewalk and this one sucks worst than most. I cant stress enough how lucky you really are. You wont be able to see that in the midst of your pain right now but you will latter, ... (read in full...)

Is this serous and will this pain go away?

Q.   Hello everyone. I thought that I would ask on here before going to the doctor's in case it's normal. The thing is I recently got married and we went on our honeymoon straight afterwards. During our two week honeymoon we had a lot of sex. About foir ...

A.   30 October 2009: Get checked immediately! Any severe pain in the cranium is a big red flag. Maybe its nothing and I hope it is but you dont want to make a mistake here. Just to help you understand the magnitude: I worked in a radiology department many years ag... (read in full...)

B/f no longer puts forth effort into the relationship, what to do?

Q.   Any help would be greatly appreciated: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. We have talked about marriage and for the most part, we get along famously. Here is my delima: He seems angry, distant, and at times bored with...

A.   30 October 2009: Second the motion on letting him do for you. I personally feel that men have to do this, its hardwired. The other thing is you could try to spice things up and get out of the rut you are in. Go for a trip or surprise him with something that you will ... (read in full...)

I found out she cheated 2 years ago, now all she does is cry. How do I deal with this?

Q.   Hi Guys, If your partner of 20 years cheated on you just once and you found out by chance would you forgive and forget. She is the love of my life and a great mother. Apparently it happened with a mutual so called friend. I confronted her with thi...

A.   30 October 2009: Tough call my friend. She seems to have a strong sense of guilt and sometimes people grow a conscience late in life. It sounds like she understands the magnitude of this and I think you have a right to verbalize exactly how hurt and angry you are. ... (read in full...)

I'm fat with no boobs, will anyone ever love me?

Q.   hi. i am just curious about something.. im 17 years old, im quite short fo rmy age, about 5'3. im a size 14-16 in clothes, but i only come in at a B in bra size. is this weird? when i look in the mirror i get so depressed. i have the smallest boobs ...

A.   30 October 2009: First off let yourself grow up before you start getting all doom and gloom about your body. There is so much pressure about body image being pushed on girls now days its no wonder you are unsure of yourself. When you get a little older you can ... (read in full...)

Should I cut my losses?

Q.   My husband and I have only been married a little over a year. I moved to be with him away from my friends and the area that I had lived for 13 years. So now I live in a place that I have no friends. He takes care of his mother who is mean and ...

A.   30 October 2009: Might be a good idea to consider an elderly home for the mother. If that wont work then start looking at your relationship more closely. His loyalty to his mother is understandable but what he needs to comprehend is that she is not going to be he... (read in full...)

My boyfriend still goes to the ex's house to let the dog out!!!

Q.   Hello Aunts and Uncles. I'll make this short and to the point but would really appreciate a guys take if possible. My boyfriend (we have been living together for about a year) he still goes to his ex's house (when she's working and yes she is ...

A.   30 October 2009: Yet another reason why I love my dog more than most people! As another put it be thankful they never had kids. What kinda irritates me here is that the dog needs a better situation and it is not getting it because of petty BS. Adults do this wit... (read in full...)

How can I show her I'm genuinely really interested in her?

Q.   So I got to go on a date with a new girl a few nights ago. We got together through a dating site and I was skeptical about the whole thing to begin with. When we met up and had dinner, the whole time our conversation flowed really well, we hung ...

A.   30 October 2009: I think you are over-analyzing my man. You don't need to worry about letting her know you are interested in her. I think you have established that. I don't think she will perceive you as a player if you don't do some of those stupid moves that ... (read in full...)

How do I know if my girlfriend loves me?

Q.   How do I know if my girlfriend loves me? She as been giving me signals as if she don't want me...but I spoke with her and she said if I didn't like you I would tell you directly. Another thing is she has college n I work full time. To add to it she ...

A.   30 October 2009: Your dating a mother and a college student, you have got to realize that she is not going to make you number one sometimes. I think another factor is you both have demanding lives and it is difficult to get on the same page sometimes. All t... (read in full...)

Should I just go with the flow and see what happens?

Q.   Hi there hope you can offer some sound advice. went out with a guy for about 6 months we had a great relationship, amazing, in fact. However, I knew he was off travelling for a year on his own and we tried not to let it get serious but it did! It ...

A.   30 October 2009: I think you are on the right track. Go with the flow. Sure, talk to him honestly when you get a good chance but it seems best not to push anything right now because it appears that his priorities are elsewhere. All that may change and I may be wrong ... (read in full...)

Our kids sleep with us... how can I tell my wife I think it should now stop?

Q.   I have been married to my wife for 6 years and we have a great relationship, We have 2 kids a 4 year old daughter and an 8 month old son, my wife still exclusively breastfeeds our son and our daugther still nurses before bed and during the night. ...

A.   30 October 2009: I think having children sleep in the parents bed is bad for everyone. It takes away the one personal space the parents have together and squashes your sex life. It doesnt help the kids either because you become theyre security blanket and then they ... (read in full...)

I don't feel I cheated, but I was awkwardly busted. Do I explain the situation to him?

Q.   Thanks so much in advance for your insight(s). After years of quick flings, NSAs and not-quite-rights, (I'm 47) I all but shut down my sexual activity and adpoted a "been there done that" mentality, I'm recently re-inspired. I believe that ...

A.   30 October 2009: Pardon me for being a little slow but what are NSA's and PNP's? As for getting busted. You might have done some real damage with your internet activity. You did not really go into why you were "putting your feelers out" on the internet. That is ... (read in full...)

I'm not "in love" with my girlfriend, and she's kind of crazy. I'm scared to break up with her, what do I do?

Q.   I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half now and I've realized that I'm not "IN" love with her ....we get along great sometimes but most of the time it's real bad fighting and its REAL bad if we've be drinking.... she starts hitting me ...

A.   30 October 2009: Sounds like a handful bro. You are gonna end up crazy if stay, pure and simple. Do what you have to do for your sanity and let go of the co-dependent drama. It will be tough initially no BSing about it, but she will do what they all do, move on to ... (read in full...)

Was her kissing me on the first date too forward?

Q.   my friend asked out a girl and this girl is looking for someone for her best friend. So my friends girlfriend tells her best friend about me. My friend tells me theres this girl and she's my girlfriends blah blah and she wants to know if you want to ...

A.   30 October 2009: Easy tiger! You are thinking way too much about this. If the feeling is genuine and mutual then kiss away! That right there is the whole shebang on the rules of kissing. The only stipulations I would add are things like respecting protecti... (read in full...)

I'm at a loss on how to approach her?

Q.   I'm drawn to this girl, who I have dated in the past but it wasn't a real relationship it was more a junior high I have a girlfriend/boyfriend now relationship that was two years ago. And the other day I looked at her and my heart started racing I ...

A.   30 October 2009: Ahhhhh a young romantic! You can totally get this girl out on a date if you really want to. I understand that you feel like your gonna get flustered when you talk to her and you just might. That's OK! What you need to do is stop second guessing ... (read in full...)

Are these signs that my ex wants me back?

Q.   Does my ex want me back? These are the signs. - After me telling him i didnt wanna talk to him for the rest of my life because he didnt want a relationship, he sent me an email apologising and telling me he wanted us to be in good terms. - I asked...

A.   30 October 2009: I think you are working too hard trying to decipher you ex's behavior and you are also sending mixed signals. Seems like this to me: 1- You are not sure what you really want. 2- He is down with some sex (duh). You might want to consi... (read in full...)

I'm worried my ex will tell everyone I'm bisexual!

Q.   I'm bisexual male that was in a gay relationship after my wife divorce me. I'm 60 and my lover is 20 years younger. We had our up and down just like most relationship. Recently, I bump into an old girl friend of mine in high school. We falling for ...

A.   30 October 2009: Talk rationally to your ex male lover. It sounds like you might be able to get him to lighten up on the vindictive thing. Another alternative would be to come out to your family on your own. I understand its not a small decision but if they lov... (read in full...)

Hes a wonderful man but is it possible to find a Prince Charming?

Q.   I have been married for just over a year. I constantly think about whether my husband is the right man for me. I was never really sure about him, even when we were dating and engaged. I can't decipher whether this is part of the process, or if I am ...

A.   30 October 2009: Sounds like you are struggling with "that spark". If you ever had it in your relationship I believe you can have it again. This will require your effort though. Believe it or not he may not be dazzled with you either right now. Maybe that is ... (read in full...)

How can I stop myself being so nervous about everything?

Q.   I'm 15 and i get so nervous about everything. When im at school i get so nervous that somebody will talk about me or hit me or just plan mess with me. See im a quiet person who doesn't say much in some classes because or certain students.In some ...

A.   30 October 2009: I believe self doubt plagues every guy at some point. That is just one of the ways you are like every other guy. It is hard when it gets its grip on you but I believe there is a way out. If you will indulge me I would like to use a quote, dammed if ... (read in full...)

Should I beg for a second chance, and hope its all a phase on her part?

Q.   Im just here to vent. It's prolly obvious that it's over and nothing can be done. I fell in love with this girl years ago... gave her everything I had, planned my future around her, would do anything for her. I looked forward to spending the rest of ...

A.   30 October 2009: Ughhh! Brother, I could candy coat it but you already know what is going on here. She is a user. There are are plenty of them out there and you should be thankful you learned the lesson now. Here is my advice: Take all that pain and focus it... (read in full...)

Am I giving off the wrong vibes that I cannot get a man?

Q.   I've never had a boyfriend before but in college i've had my share of interactions with guys that only consisted of sex. Last month I broke it off with this guy who turned out to be untrustworthy. I completely put my all into making it work with ...

A.   30 October 2009: I think you are just hitting your stride! What you are going through is actually a good thing in my opinion. I know, you probably want to punch me! You have learned what you don't want and you have made choices about who you wont be with. You are ... (read in full...)

Help, my parents wont give me any freedom. What can I do?

Q.   My parent's wont give me any freedom. Im 16 and Im getting my license in a year which means I have to rely on my parents to drive me places the problem is they wont let me go anywhere without them. I can't go to the mall alone. I can't go to the ...

A.   30 October 2009: Sounds a little strict to me and I have a daughter. Simple fact is you probably wont change them. What I will say is that you have a couple more years before college. The best advice I can give is once you have your freedom don't go completely nuts ... (read in full...)

Am I the right size?

Q.   What is the right girth for a 16 year old?...

A.   30 October 2009: My good man: This is an age old question and I have seen it more times than I can recall. Here is my say on the subject. Proper girth or length for any age is that which can physically be manipulated to provide pleasure to the owner. There i... (read in full...)

To cheat or not to cheat? Can mongamy really exist?

Q.   Monogamy - can it REALLY exist - or is it natural to struggle with this? I'm asking this question because it seems like everyone cheats. On a marriage, in a relationship, etc. And if they don't it's usually because they "don't want to hurt" th...

A.   30 October 2009: Holy hot buttons!! Well we are really getting the party started on this one eh? I think it would be great to have a completely anonymous accounting of those that cheated and why. Obviously in a different post. The faithful people always mention ... (read in full...)

To cheat or not to cheat? Can mongamy really exist?

Q.   Monogamy - can it REALLY exist - or is it natural to struggle with this? I'm asking this question because it seems like everyone cheats. On a marriage, in a relationship, etc. And if they don't it's usually because they "don't want to hurt" th...

A.   29 October 2009: "Guy gene"?? Ouch!! That one smarts a bit, but after reading up on it a bit you do have a point. From what I learned men do cheat more than women based on the statistics (and we all know that statistics never lie right?) Take a look at one link I ... (read in full...)

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