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I'm in my own private hell over a married man I never let into my life. Why does doing the right thing hurt so bad?

Q.   I am married. I began to have feelings for another man who is also married. He approached me for a relationship but I said nothing, not wanting to hurt him but also not wanting him to know about my feelings. I just could not bring myself to betray ...

A.   10 April 2008: I think there have been some excellant answers on here, especially eddie and miss anonymous. I will not reiterate what they have said because they said it so well. I will only add this: One reason that you are feeling so sad is that he has move... (read in full...)

I know I'm being selfish, but I cannot imagiane not being with her

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my best friend for 5 years (she is a female). She is openly gay, where as i am not, if i wasnt with her i would be with a man, but i love and care for her deeply. I have recently turned 35 and im scared that what i ...

A.   10 April 2008: Have you talked to your girlfriend about this at all? Tell her how much you love her and want to be with her. Then tell her your desire for a family. She may understand. See what she suggests. She may say that you should find a man in your life to ... (read in full...)

I feel so bad for cheating on my boyfriend...

Q.   Ok I love both of those boy's very much so and I feel like shit for cheating on my boyfriend...He;s a sweet man and he shouldn't have to deal with me doing that I know.But I told my ex today that I never want it to happen again because I felt like ...

A.   10 April 2008: You dont really have a question here that you want us to coment on. What I see is you going through a rant because of your unhappiness and you are trying to make yourself feel better. You justify your cheating by saying sex with this man is the best ... (read in full...)

Will my penis size prevent me from getting my wife pregnant?

Q.   I m woried about my penise size it is about 4.2 inches next year i plan to get married and i m worid can i satisfied my life partner and with this size i can make her preganent plz. advised me...

A.   10 April 2008: Getting a woman pregnant has absolutely NOTHING to do with penis size. It has to do with SPERM. If you have adequate sperm ~healthy and in sufficient quantity~ that is what will get your wife pregnant. ... (read in full...)

I can't get the fact that she went to a 'naked party' out of my head.

Q.   I'm having a real problem getting my girlfriend's past out of my head. I know there have been some other questions like this on the board, but nothing that really matches. Basically, I've been dating a wonderful woman for three months. She's am...

A.   9 April 2008: I can speak from experience as a naturist and having been to many naked parties. This is not a sexual experience!! If you have never done it, you think it is just one giant orgy, but its not. Once you get over the initial shock of everyone being ... (read in full...)

How can I become better at sex by being on top?

Q.   This sounds silly, but how can i become better at sex when i'm on top? I really have no idea what im doing, and im scared im hurting him! "Going with the flow" just doesnt seem to be working, and i always feel guilty because he's always on top. He ...

A.   9 April 2008: I understand your confusion. That is what I used to think, too! But no, he doesnt have to be going 'in and out' as you would think. By you rocking your pelvis, he is moving inside you, but only slightly, and it is very stimulating indeed. Since I ... (read in full...)

How can I become better at sex by being on top?

Q.   This sounds silly, but how can i become better at sex when i'm on top? I really have no idea what im doing, and im scared im hurting him! "Going with the flow" just doesnt seem to be working, and i always feel guilty because he's always on top. He ...

A.   9 April 2008:  Try this ~ Sit up, putting your hands on his chest or in his hands help up for you to balance and brace yourself on. Then, instead of going up and down, plant yourself firmly all the way down. Now kind of rock the pelvis forward and back, staying ... (read in full...)

My parents and family won't accept me being pregnant they would flip out, and bf blames me for not terminating!

Q.   my boyfriend and I have been together for 2years we had lots of problems in our relationship and he thought i was cheating on him with my ex but i wasn't, i would never do something like that to him I love him to much but he doesn't trust me one ...

A.   8 April 2008: Why didnt you learn your lesson the first or even the second time around? I can understand the first pregnany and subsequent abortion, accidents happen. But 2 more?!?!?!?! What is wrong with you? And if he didnt treat you right after the first ... (read in full...)

How do I get over him and him with his new girlfriend (and the girlfriend being a part of my daughter's life)?

Q.   My ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for over 6 years, we had lived together for about 4 of them, and we had have a 2 and a half year old daughter. due to financial reasons we had to move apart (back in with our parents) and after a year and a half ...

A.   8 April 2008: Just because your ex says he wants to split your daughters time 50/50 between you does not mean that you have to agree to that. If you have been the sole caregiver and custodian of your daughter all this time you may have a good chance of getting ... (read in full...)

Should I have anal sex if I'm a virgin? I'm scared...

Q.   My boyfriend wants to have anal sex but I'm scared because I'm still a virgin.And it sounds great but Im still not sure. What should I do???...

A.   8 April 2008: NO! NO! NO! Anal sex can be dangerous. It is meant as an exit, not an entrance. You anus is not designed for sex. Anal intercourse can tear your rectum or anus (the last bit of your large intestine), can make you sick from the bacteria and is ... (read in full...)

Is it common to lose your sex drive after being with your partner awhile?

Q.   i have lost my sex drive, i love my partner very much but i cant get horny with her. we have been together for 2 years. is it common to loose your sex drive when with someone a while?? ...

A.   4 April 2008: Your sex drive is not neccessarily a constant thing. Stress, age, being busy, being unwell, hormones fluctuating, being tired, can all contribute to a rise and fall of sexual desire. Also, when you are with someone new, it is all so very exciting ... (read in full...)

How do I know for sure if hes used me?

Q.   i feel used my partner only wanted a so called stable homelife for his kids but now hes got them hes changed...

A.   4 April 2008: We really need more information. How did you provide a stable life? Why didnt they have one before? How has he changed? Etc.... (read in full...)

My fiancee is still seeing his ex, should I be worried?

Q.   My fiancee would not stop seeing his ex wife. I would understand if there are kids involve, but they dont have any kids. He tells me that he loves me, but he wont stop seeing her. i confronted him and he said that they are just friends and he only ...

A.   4 April 2008: If he were seeing her frequently, or put her needs above your own, I would agree with the other aunts that this behaviour has to stop. But that is not the case. He has stayed on friendly terms with his ex, and they see each other once a year or so. ... (read in full...)

Could his smoking weed be contributing to the fact I'm not falling pregnant?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 years now we have always had unprotected sex. I have never been pregnant. He always smokes weed, do you think that has something to do with it?...

A.   18 March 2008: Absolutely! Smoking weed is a definate contributer to infirtility, especially if you do it, too.... (read in full...)

What the hell is wrong with me? I have feelings for my best friend and she's female like me!!!

Q.   My best friend has recently told me she has deeper feelings than friendship for me. It was a little weird to hear it from her but I told her that I am straight and don't contemplate being with another girl because I am straight. Although I ...

A.   18 March 2008: Sometimes when someone tells us they like us we develope feelings for them that didnt exist before, simply because they said they like us. We feel flattered at their admiration and cant help but start to return it. This usually is a male/female ... (read in full...)

Can you get a STD from the liquids that are secreted from the vagina?

Q.   Can you get a STD from the liquids that are secreted from the vagina? Ever since I had sex with my girlfriend one year ago my anus area has itched and burned - I used a condom and we did it cowgirl position - she does have herpes I'm to...

A.   18 March 2008: Yes, you definately can get an STD. You need to get tested as it is likely you have herpes now.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is really pissing me off right now!

Q.   It was my birthday yesterday. My boyfriend did not get me anything but on Saturday his Nan gave him £30 to go to town and get me something. He said he wanted to go to Margate so I was like oh fair enough. About 3 hours later he had returned...

A.   18 March 2008: He is being rude, imature, inconsiderate and loutish. His Nan gave him money to buy you a gift (ok, thats wrong right there, he should be spending his own money to buy you a gift, not hitting up Nan!) and instead he spent it all on himself getting ... (read in full...)

How to tackle my husband?

Q.   My husband is nice but he gave all his property and money to his parents and sisters without knowing me. Now he says I will save again for you. Usually we have fights almost every day because of his stupidity. I know everyone likes their parents but ...

A.   18 March 2008: I am sorry Raima, but I dont understand a few things you have written in your post. Perhaps you could explain things better? For example, first you state that if something happened you dont know how your son would survive (I presume you mean if your ... (read in full...)

How relevant is a dream?

Q.   I have just had a dream where a woman confessed to sleeping with my partner and admitted to having feelings for him, i have had suspisions about this woman before. Am i mad? Is there any truth in it?...

A.   11 March 2008: It is a dream which means that it came out of your own head not hers. You have had suspicians about this woman, fears that she is cheating with him. Your own thoughts and fears manifested themselves into a dream that showed you what you were ... (read in full...)

How relevant is a dream?

Q.   I have just had a dream where a woman confessed to sleeping with my partner and admitted to having feelings for him, i have had suspisions about this woman before. Am i mad? Is there any truth in it?...

A.   11 March 2008: It is a dream which means that it came out of your own head not hers. You have had suspicians about this woman, fears that she is cheating with him. Your own thoughts and fears manifested themselves into a dream that showed you what you were ... (read in full...)

My friend kisses me in front of her husband, I'm a confused puppy!!

Q.   I'm good friends with a couple, Paul and Rachel. We've been pretty close for about 3 years. I'm 28, Paul is 28 and Rachel is 27. The 2 of us seem to spend a lot of time together, and most of it is instigated by Paul (he usually invites me to go ...

A.   11 March 2008: I agree with the other Aunts here. It seems to be either an open marriage, or maybe a polyamorous one. As long as things are done with the knowlege and approval of her husband it is not cheating. Since he sees her kiss you and isnt bothered by it, I ... (read in full...)

Could I be pregnant if we used a condom?

Q.   okay about two weeks ago me and my BF had sex with a condom but about 2 1/2 weeks later i started getting these real bad pains in my tummy, after we had sex i was supposed to get my period but i missed it that worried me but is that normal? my BF ...

A.   11 March 2008: Just to add to CorpusDei's advice. Once you are on the pill (if that is what you choose to do) dont stop using condoms. Use both!!... (read in full...)

What are my chances of success?

Q.   Just wondering is anyone has been through a court access case and can comment on whether I can be successful given my circumstances. Basically my ex partner never wanted our son, he didn't attend the birth tho I did manage to get him to put his n...

A.   11 March 2008:  I have been through something similar. I have 2 boys and when I was divorcing their Father I did get supervised visitation for a short time. Supervised visitation is very difficult to get as it is very costly. Judges dont want to order it because ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for middle aged guys to masterbate?

Q.   O.k i don't know whether its me just being naive but i need to know whether this is normal? I have caught my dad a couple of times masturbating in his bedroom...believe me that was traumatising enough but what i want to know is, is it normal for a ...

A.   7 March 2008: Yes, it is completely normal and natural. ... (read in full...)

She hates the ejaculating inside of her, but only after 4 years she tells me this!! I feel hurt and disoriented.

Q.   I have been seeing a woman for over four years and have had what I thought was a great relationship. We have recently been talking about marriage. However, last week after sex she told me that she absolutely hates the fact that I ejaculate inside ...

A.   7 March 2008: Personally I find this very strange. I find that when a guy pulls out at the last minute I feel very dissatisfied with the experience. My ex husband used to do this all the time and I didnt like it at all. Yes, cum is a bit messy, but to say you ... (read in full...)

Did my guitar teacher use me?

Q.   Ok,im 16 and ive always had this thing for older men...like a lil fantasy and i always end up infatuated with any older man between the ages of like 25/38 ish who is reasonably attractive, they usually are my teachers which is worse. Sooo i had ...

A.   4 March 2008:  This whole thing is wrong in so many ways! Did he use you? Yes and no. He did not decieve you. He wasnt after you, telling you how much he liked you and trying to convince to jump in the sack with him just cause he wanted sex. No, you are the ... (read in full...)

We got on well but now he's calling me psyco! What's that about?

Q.   i met some afew weeks ago and met up with them on friday i really like him before but i was with someone at the time we spoke on MSN and he said that he would c how it went if i wernt with my bf in the end in dumped my boyfriend and that was wen i ...

A.   4 March 2008: I think we need some more information. There must have been something that triggered the 'psycho' title! You dont have a lovely evening together and everything is nice and sweet and then start yelling 'psycho!' Some bit of conversation? Did you seem ... (read in full...)

Am I lying to myself by being in this relationship?

Q.   Hi I posted a question here sometime back. I am 27, dating S 32 for 7 months already. We are happy together but somehow I feel that we want different things. For one, I want to get married and have kids. I'm willing to sacrifice my career to be a ...

A.   4 March 2008: From what you have said here, I would say yes, you are lying to yourself about the potential of this relationship. He has told you up front that he doesnt think he will ever get married. You are hoping that he will someday see you as so wonderful he ... (read in full...)

I'm I a virgin or not anymore?

Q.   Help i know people will think im stupid for doing it but last nite me and b/f where doing stuff,and after when he was inside me he said he thought i was a virgin which i was at the time but never told him, Anyway when he was going further in it di...

A.   4 March 2008: Blood is a common side affect of losing your virginity, but it has nothing to do with whether you are or are not a virgin. If a penis has entered your vagina you are no longer a virgin. It is a physical act that once done, even if it is only once in ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to move to a new school just because you feel unwanted in your old one?

Q.   is it wrong to move to a new school just because you feel like your unwanted in your old one?...

A.   1 March 2008: No, there is nothing wrong with this. If you are able to make the switch, go for it. Sometimes getting a fresh start is all we need. ... (read in full...)

How can I tell my boyfriend that once we would be engaged, I don't want to rush things?

Q.   Once you are engaged, how long should you wait to get married? We are dating now more than three years and I'm longing for him to propose me, but think I would have wait at least an other year or even more... Recently I discoverd that he thinks, ...

A.   1 March 2008: If (and when!) he asks you to marry him you tackle the problem with a lighthearted sense of humor. He suggests getting married in a months time and you laugh merrily as if he has made a joke and say that although you cant wait to be married to him, ... (read in full...)

Can you get pregnant without intercourse?

Q.   can a female become pregnant without full on intercourse...

A.   28 February 2008: While it is unlikely, it is possible. It is the semen you have to worry about. Now some people on here worry that is he touched himself and then touched you, or if you used the same towel or some other silly thing that they can get pregnant. If that ... (read in full...)

What does his text mean?

Q.   i got this text from this boy that i think likes me i donno what it means. "i love you can it be our little secret u dont have a bf right can u come to our beach party fri night i wanna prove it to u love u xxxxx" what does this mean does it mea...

A.   28 February 2008: I would be very wary of this situation. This may be perfectly innocent, but I would be very careful. If you do decide to go to the party, go with a friend and just please be careful.... (read in full...)

No sex before marriage... or should I?

Q.   My family are conservative Christians and have a strong, deeply rooted belief that sex before marriage is a big no-no. For the first half of my life I also believed in this, and I wanted to remain abstinent until marriage. If anything, to make my ...

A.   28 February 2008: I think Annalisa has written a very lovely, insightful post. From what you have written, it does not seem that your reasons for staying chaste are personal anymore, but because of the fear of letting down your family and/or of being publically humi... (read in full...)

Is this considered rape?

Q.   I just had sex with my boyfriend and I know I love him a lot but I just wasn't ready. I told him no but he kept bugging me about it until I agreed. I wanted him to stop after we started but I didn't tell him that. Since I did tell him no to begin ...

A.   28 February 2008: Sweetheart, this is a boy who doesnt really care all that much about you. Once you said no, he should have stopped asking. All he cared about was the sex. If he cared about and RESPECTED you he would never have pressured you into concenting to sex ... (read in full...)

Could I be pregnant even though I got my period?

Q.   i had unprotected sex on the 9th and 10th of febuary,but i had a period on the 12th which was lighter than my other periods and only lasted four days. i've had a pain lately in the lower part of my stomach and my mouth has baeen tasty funny but no ...

A.   26 February 2008: Laura - you really need to check your facts. A womans fertile time is centered around when she OVULATES, not when she gets her period. A woman ovulates midcycle, right around day 14 in a 28 day cycle (day one being the day you get your period). So ... (read in full...)

Do guys have a "G-spot" as well?

Q.   Do guys have a "g-spot" too?...

A.   22 February 2008: Double M - this area I am referring to is NOT the frenulum. It is NOT the head or anywhere near the head. It is at the very base of the penis where it connects to the body.... (read in full...)

Do guys have a "G-spot" as well?

Q.   Do guys have a "g-spot" too?...

A.   21 February 2008: Well, my guy has an unusual gspot. Right at the base of his penis, on top, so right where his thumb would be if he wrapped his hand aound his own dick is an icrediblely sensitive area for him, even more so than the head of the penis. He seems to ... (read in full...)

We have small children and tiring jobs, and do not afford a babysitter. How to escape routine?

Q.   I think my husband and I are getting burned out on the "daily grind". My husband does hard physical labor and I am an office manager of a busy/fast paced construction company. We have 2 small children so our evenings consist of cooking, cleaning ...

A.   21 February 2008: I know exactly how you feel! I have 2 kids myself and extremely limited funds. If you have a good friend with kids you can offer to trade with her. You take her kids one night, and she take your another. That way you each get a free night, but it ... (read in full...)

What are the chances of pregnancy if she took the pill behindhand?

Q.   Me and my girlfriend had sex on valentines day. She takes the pill but the day after valentines day she took the pill very late and took it about 6pm She's still on the pill but now she is starting to feel sick and ill. Could she be pregnan...

A.   21 February 2008: If she took the pill everyday, but on the one day took it later in the day than normal the chances are pretty miniscule that she is pregnant. Plus, it would be very unlikely that she would be experiencing pregnancy symptoms this quickly. I would say ... (read in full...)

He said we can advance by the time I reach 18 if I still like him. Why shouldn't we date now?

Q.   I am 15 and i like someone who is 20. We both have feelings for each other but because of the age difference we have to wait until i am 18. he said that when i am 18 if i still have feelings for him than we should make the relationship serious. but ...

A.   20 February 2008: I have been in your shoes, but I was only 13 and he was 20. We liked each other so much, but my parents (and rightly so!!) said we could not date because of the age differance. They said once I was 18 I was free to date him. Unfortunately, by the ... (read in full...)

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