A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I met this guy over a month ago, almost two months ago, and things are pretty confusing. In the past three weeks I've spent more nights at his place than not. We don't have sex every time, quiet honestly we haven't had sex very much at all. I'm beginning to really like him and I'm afraid things aren't going anywhere. I'm content, for now, with how things are moving slowly, but I want reassurance that my feelings are reciprocated. I asked him once and his reply was that he moves very slow in relationships because he's been hurt and he's very guarded. Maybe this is the case, but I'm wondering if maybe it's just an easy let down. Heres a few facts: he texts me everyday, we don't kiss often although we sleep in the same bed often, he text me to just say hi each day while out of town with his buddies, he had me over every night for nearly a week, he calls me "homie", he's opened up to me about his past relationship and his family life, he sits on the opposite side of the couch usually, but he seems as though he's the type who like a girl who makes the move (i.e. Flirting, sitting next to eachother, etc) I'm a shy girl so it's hard for me to be very flirty or touchy without reassurance and it's often he doesn't give it to me. Sometimes when I put my legs on him or my head on his shoulder he doesn't touch me back, as though he's closed off to me. Other days he is more open to me. One day it's like I'm certain he likes me and the next not so much. I know I may be over analyzing all of this but I really wanna keep myself from being hurt. Do you think his feelings may also be growing for me? Do you have any advice on making this relationship progress or how to be a little more flirty with him?
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (22 January 2011):
Sounds like he's already being honest with you. He is guarded because he is afraid to get hurt. He may still have strong feelings for the ex if it was her who hurt him he probably gave it is all and got let down, so he may not want to do this again. Could just be that he is trying to trust again. On a lighter note you are spending a lot of time at his place, he calls you 'homie', which i think is nice. So all you can do at them moment in this very early stage of getting to know each other is take one day at a time and don't push for anything he's not ready for. You don't need to analyze it, just be yourself and if he wants to be quiet, then let him be. If he wants to talk, then talk, slowly slowly, catchy monkey!
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