A
female
age
36-40,
*hian2020
writes:Hi everyone, plz help with this.I had a drunken 1 nigth stand in uni with the guy who lives in the building opposite. We decided it was a mistake but decided to remain friends. We txt over Easter and when I arrived bk 2 uni after Easter he was waiting for me and said he'd been waiting for me all day. I've been back in uni for 2 weeks and he's been coming over my place 2 c if i'm ok as he hasn't seen me that day. We talk for ages when he does come over. But when he's been out drinking his txts 2 me become abusive, then he knocks my door/window at 3 in the mornin 'just 2 talk' but we always end up arguin because he's/ we're both drunk. he always comes over the following day 2 appologise, gives me a hug and says that he can't believe he hurt me. I totally cracked Thursday, he txt (again drunk) saying he fancies one of my flatmates friends so i told them. I had around 20 messages from him saying i hate you for this, i'll never forgive you, i thought we were friends and so on. He told me to go over his place which i did and he said stop txting me, and had a go at me for nothing at all and started shouting that he doesn't like me, only as a friend.I lied by saying I have someone at home and when I saud this he went really moody and said well you obviously don't know how I feel. But then he calmed down and started hugging me. After I left I cried to one of my flat mates for ages, plus I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I decided that enough is enough. I deleted all his txts and his number and decided to leave him alone as he's always abusive when drunk but is really sweet and cuddly when sober. I didn't txt him on Friday but then he txt around one in the morning asking if i was awake, i ignored the txt. Then there was a knock at my door, it was him asking if i was ok and if i was still talking to him. He apologised for telling me that he liked someone and I put on a hard face saying I didn't care. He said that he cried to his friend after I left because he couldn't believe that he'd hurt me that much. He told me 2 txt him whenever I want. I asked if he remembered telling me to leave him alone and that he didn't like me and he said he couldn't but then started hugging me. Because i'm not txting him anymore, he keeps txting me all the time. Do you think he likes me deep down or is just a complete idiot who I should cut out of my life.?Please help, I'm so confused.
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female
reader, Rhian2020 +, writes (14 May 2009):
Rhian2020 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
Thanx for taking the time to answer my problem. You're right it is a tricky situation. Since I posted the question he's been very nice to me and hasn't said or done anything to hurt me.(not yet anyway.) I think I will continue to play it cool as it seems to be working. He is making more of an effort to come over and see me and is always nice when he does, even after he has had a drink. There's no harm in us being friends.
Again thank you so much for taking the time to help me.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (12 May 2009):
 This is a really tricky one. I think he maybe does like you deep down but is afraid of his feelings. Even if he does really like you though, that's no reason to be with him. He's abusive when drunk and you don't want to have to deal with that. He doesn't sound like he's going to change any time soon and you did the right thing in deleting his number and texts. Good luck with everything.
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