A
female
age
26-29,
*zzygurl
writes:Hey everyone, Me and my boyfriend been dating for like 2 weeks I know it's still short but he thinks it's disrespectful to look through his phone... I don't have a problem with him going through my phone but he claims he doesn't go through my messages he thinks that's disrespectful.... I don't get it, I feel like when you're in a relationship you should be open and don't hide anything .... What do you guys think Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 April 2014):
 2 weeks and you want to go through his phone? Seriously?
Do you not grasp the concept of PRIVACY?
YOU are being disrespectful to think you somehow OWN him now. That you should have full court access to his whole life.
I have been married almost 17 years and I CERTAINLY don't go though my husband's phone, e-mail, Facebook whatnot. THAT is his. I happen to TRUST my husband. I'm NOT his mother or "supervisor" who has to see if he is misbehaving. Nor do my husband go through my stuff. Though if he wanted to that would be fine, I have nothing to hide, YET it would chafe my hiney if he all of a sudden wanted to go through it. Because that would IMPLY that he doesn't trust me.
Just like HE (your BF) shouldn't go thought YOUR stuff, diary, phone, e-mails, Facebooks.... YOU shouldn't go though his.
WHY on Earth do you think it's your "right" as a GF?
If I was younger and dating someone who wanted to go though my phone, I'd probably dump them. Because without trust for your partner, you have nothing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2014): There is such thing as privacy, it doesn't matter you are in a r elation ship or not. No one wants to be an open book. Snooping through someone s phone is a sign of you not trusting him. nd if you don't trust him, what is the point of being together?
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 April 2014):
 You're in a relationship but you are NOT one and the same person. Invading each others privacy, leaving no room to be individuals, is an unhealthy relationship. It's controlling, invasive, and your boyfriend is right: it is disrespectful.
You're new to relationships, so your idea about what they should be like is coloured by what you've heard from your friends and what you've seen on TV. So this is something you will learn as you go along with it. But please let him have his privacy and respect him wishes for this privacy. Just because a person wants some privacy does not mean they have anything to hide. For example, wouldn't you rather change clothes in private, than in front of your entire family, aunts and uncles and everyone? You don't have anything to hide by revealing your body, but some privacy is still nice. Don't you agree?
...............................
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (5 April 2014):
 No, i think its disrespectful. I don't like when someone goes through my phone, anyone at all. Its not that i've got anything to hide, i just like my privacy. Two weeks is just the beginning, going through his phone is a bit much when you guys have only begun dating. Give the guy his space.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 April 2014):
 Regardless how much time you have spent together... no matter how close and committed you (both) claim to be.... there's no reason for two people to snoop through one-another's belongings.....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2014):
 why would you need to go through his phone unless you don't trust him?
and after just two weeks... that's not a boyfriend it's still someone you are dating and getting to know...
I personally HATE when my husband goes through my phone... and I am not hiding anything from him... i just don't feel he needs to police me... why do you feel the need to know everything about him and why do you have an underlying distrust of him?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2014): I don't go through my husbands phone, we've been together 8 years!! You've been with this guy 2 weeks?! That's seriously disrespectful! Why are you with him if you don't trust him?
Unless you have a certain reason, that is well founded, that your partner is doing something they shouldn't (and even then I would talk to then first before going through their phone!) you shouldn't have a reason to look through. That's their business. You wouldn't walk up to him while he was stood with a group of friends and demand they told you their entire conversation prior to the moment you turned up. So why do this by looking through his messages?
Relax, enjoy being together. If you can't help yourself looking then maybe you're not mature enough for a relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2014): Your phone is private unless you're suspicious and then you should ASK (not snoop) to see his phone and vice versa.
There are some things people want to keep to themselves, even in marriage, but especially new relationships.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 April 2014):
It definitely is disrespectful. He has a right to privacy whether he needs it or not, and your actions show a lack of trust that isn't justified.
...............................
|
