A
female
age
41-50,
*rystalized
writes:So guys and gals, I am a 30 year old virgin. I was a late-bloomer, then had a really busy career and moved around a lot and then it turned into this vicious cycle thing where I figured everyone would think I had had sex by then and I didn't want to come up short so I never let it get that far. But now...So question is this - I really want to lose my virginity. I am horny. But in today's day and age how does one do this? Even if I started dating, no guy is going to expect me to be a virgin. I know people must still have one night stands but with STDs and stuff...really??I'm going on a work trip in June and I'm thinking an "out of town" tryst might be good..how does one set up such a thing or do I just put out "certain" vibes at a bar??
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male
reader, Who  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 As others have said, men around the world traditionally value virgins. For them it means tightness and going where no man has gone before, which they like.For you, maybe not so much. You might want to Google “hymen” and try to figure out if you still have yours (some females lose it to the parallel bars in gym class, or some other non-sexual way.) If you do, the first time will likely have the awkwardness mentioned below, plus the feeling he does not have it in the right spot (will not feel like it is at the opening.) There will be a lot of pushing that does not seem to get anywhere, then all of the sudden pop, it is through and in.And as also mentioned below, this pop will likely have some discomfort/pain for you; even after he is in he will be running it back and forth against torn skin. If you are into to him and want him, you will likely tolerate the bad feelings because the good feelings are stronger. So I will give the same advice as the others, find a guy you care about, and who cares about you to give your virginity to; it will make it a whole lot better in more than one way.But to find that right man you will need to do things different from what you have been doing, that has not found you your first man. As others have said you can try on-line dating and chat sites (or the same type of thing on phone services) but you can also try the old fashions ways of joining activity clubs, church groups (believe it or not) and asking your girl friends/co-workers if they know of a nice eligible man they can introduce you to.When you find the man you want to give it to, tell him you are a virgin, he will like you more for it. Tell him he will have to go slow with you, going a little further with each date. He will have to be prepared to be knocking on the door (so to speak) and back off until next time if you are too uncomfortable.Good luck and I hope you new man realizes how lucky he is.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): I'm 28! I WISH I could find a woman like you! Good for you, for not being an everday, run-of-the-mill SLUT! Kudos!
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 I don't think one night stands are for a virgin (of any age). As you said you moved around a lot, I am sure you would have had one night stands in the past, if you felt like it. There is obviously a part of you that wants things to be special or have a nice relationship first.
Although it seems that nobody waits for "the one" these days but you could wait until you have dated somebody for a couple of months or so and are really fond of each-other. This way things will feel right as you anticipate being together for a while.
I know a couple of friends who have met their husbands on online dating. This way you can meet somebody whom you have things in common with, and be upfront.
Don't let expectations rule. As you say, as we get older guys do assume an amount of sexual experience and expect sex because it is what they are used to. So don't let any pressure from yourself or him to make you do anything that you don't feel right about. Just take your time and play it by ear and say that you want to know eachother a while first. If most girls were honest, the male body is daunting at first and you need time to become accustomed to things beforehand.
Fiona
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A
female
reader, Blondie_x +, writes (15 April 2009):
Well in my opinion, I wouldnt just want to waste 30 years of virginity to sleep with somebody out of town that I dont actually know! It is something to be proud of! Like any other girls dream you need to wait for 'the one' its much better to sleep with somebody special than somebody u have met once! I lost my virginity at 17. A wise decision. I slept with somebody I was in love with. Dont just waste your virginity on somebody that doesnt mean anything to you!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): The girls on here can tell you what it is like physically to lose your virginity and for a woman it can be painful the first time.Sex with a new partner can always be a bit akward in any case as you may not know them that well and may not know what they like or dont like. If you add the two together it could be a bad experience and that could put you off sex altogether or worse you could end up feeling used.My advice is to focus on the emotional side of sex someone whom you like, care about, find attractive will not care what level of experience you have. Lets face facts here us men we are always delighted to be having sex, there is no such thing as bad sex so you wont let anyone down.Relax and enjoy yourself,Thats my two cent hope it works,
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 April 2009):
 so what your a virgin?
some people may find that attractive seems as though you been waiting for the right person.
alot of people are i know i am.
you don't want to pick up random people you want to amke sure your going to get somewhere with someone.
you must definately be careful this day and age with STD's you want to be protected and everything.
just take it slow man don't just rush into things.
you'll regret it.
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