A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with my friends girlfriend: have been for a while, waaay before they started dating. I try and forget these feelings, but I cant. I just cant.One or two of my other friends know about this, and one of them seems to think I should tell my mate I like his girlfriend! It sounds crazy to me; is that the right thing to do? I can see why it might be important for him to know it, but wouldnt it destroy our friendship? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): Say you tell him you like his girlfriend, what the hell do you want him to answer? Put yourself in his position, I think he would give you a good jab in the face if you ask me. Watch out man, you're not in love. If you were, you wouldn't even think of putting her in that kind of position.
A
female
reader, ItsEmma  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Yes, it would destroy your friendship, and no, you shouldn't tell him. A lot of kids your age think they're 'in love', but they really aren't. These feelings will pass, and it is not worth losing a friendship over. Also, bear in mind that the girl you are in love with probably dosen't like you that way, seeing as she's going out with one of your mates!
~Emma
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A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x +, writes (1 September 2008):
 If you value your supply of oxygen, don't tell him. Of course, it could go either way. But it's still probably not worth it.
If you decide to tell him, tell him that you like her but respect him too much to persue the feelings and wouldn't ever consider trying it on with her unless their relationship was over for definate.
If you don't tell him that you wont do anything about the feelings you might find your eyes have been implanted in the back of your head.
Other than that I don't see why he should know. If you were older and he was married to her you wouldn't tell him, so I see no difference.
You're quite right, I can imagine it ruining your friendship, quite possibly beyond repair. I don't think it's worth it, to be honest. You say you're in love with her, but people our age mistake love for lust, when infact they're two completely different things.
Like most people you're lusting after something you can't have, it makes the feeling far more exciting. It will probably pass, and they'll probably split up, but then if you make a move, he'll probably hate you forever anyway.
Sorry, it's a lose lose situation. Keep schtum and admire from afar.
Good luck, sounds like you're going to need it!
x Becky x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): Hes your mate. Back off and find someone else omg what is it with guys that when us girls are single they dont pay attention. When were taken they want us more? Start growin up ay sorry but its true
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (1 September 2008):
 I can also see why it would be reasonable for him to know... But if you were to tell him, I do think it would ruin your friendship, on the grounds that he is possibly 'that' type of person who would feel aggitated by it - quite rightly.
You say you're in love. You have to make a decision now where, who do you think would most likely be happy with this girl? Is your friend in love with her too? Are they happy? If so. I'd keep quiet.
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