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Would you stay in a relationship for convenience?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 September 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2007)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi aunts, I would like your opinion on this question please. Would you stay in a relationship for convenience? My asshole of a husband has been committing adultery for the last 3 years and constantly lies to me, I don't know why because I always catch him out. I would love to live on my own again but have 4 kids, youngest being only 3 months old. I have everything I want here and he is a good provider for me and the kids. Whatever we want we get. If I leave him he will make my life a living hell, I know that from experience. He will be no help with kids and I have no one that can help with thier care, without hiring a babysitter. I would struggle to get much money out of him, and I know he would sooner kill me than give me half his money. Any ideas? Maybe stay and secretly set myself up and wait till the kids are a bit older, or engage in a bit of extra marital activity myself?

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2007):

Butterflyfly agony auntgather evidence for his abuse on you. talk to friends or acquaintances and drop subtle hints that things are dangerous for you at home. keep a diary ( online or well hidden in hour home) with your daily activities and interractions withim, conversations, etc, with your feelings about it all. try to record on a phone or something his abuse, when he is getting angry at you. subtly gather evidence of his adultery............

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2007):

Butterflyfly agony auntI agree with Mandy, be clever, get some space in your mind to think things through, do your homework, and aim high. If you;re determined and keep your cool you can get the best deal for you and your kids. Start gathering some infortmation and advice from people/organisations that could support you. Find out about mothers in your situation ( I'm sure there must be so many out there, women who are tryihg to reach out, and you can find some of their stories on the internet too). Don't make a fuss untill you know you can get safely out. You deserve better and you can get it, just keep a cool head. Goodluck and all the best Xxxx

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2007):

Butterflyfly agony auntI agree with Mandy, be clever, get some space in your mind to think things through, do your homework, and aim high. If you;re determined and keep your cool you can get the best deal for you and your kids. Start gathering some infortmation and advice from people/organisations that could support you. Find out about mothers in your situation ( I'm sure there must be so many out there, women who are tryihg to reach out, and you can find some of their stories on the internet too). Don't make a fuss untill you know you can get safely out. You deserve better and you can get it, just keep a cool head. Goodluck and all the best Xxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007):

Hi Love,

Your in a mess, Im not sure how the law works out there but if you have proof of his adultery, I would get a diary write everything down you can, Take your time and think very clearly, you have the children to think about which is hard work...I believe after what you have been through and are going through you should get some advise from a lawyer on how and were you stand money wise and property wise, Start putting some savings away as a back up it may take awhile but you have been going through this along time anyway and the little one is still so young...

He has been nothing but unfaithfull and there is no trust thats for sure, be clever and see anyone who can advise you on the best possible outcome for you and the children,

You having an affair wont help at the mo as I would wait untill he was gone out my life... As you really dont need anymore complications at this time...Talk to a professional and get clued up on how you can get what you deserve, Time it will take but what have you to loose you need to gain your freedom from this awfull situation for your sanity and for your children good luck hope that helped a little TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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