A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Would you marry your partner that you have been cheating with. Do these relationships work? What are the pros and cons. My partner left me after 18,years together for another guy who she has now married Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 March 2012):
 I don't honestly know. I would never cheat so therefore I wouldn't marry someone I have cheated with.
But to be frank, I think two people who put their own libido before their partner/husband/wife deserve each other, whether it will work or not is anyone guess.
I can't imagine trust runs very deep with people like that.
However, it really doesn't matter. She cheated on you, she left you. You deserve to let her go and move on.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2012): From my old-fashioned POV your "partner" didn't "cheat" on you.
Your wife didn't leave you after eighteen years of marriage to shack up with a new boyfriend, your "partner" left you after eighteen years of shacking up to marry her husband.
He's already given her more than she ever had with you; your lack of specifics suggests the possibility that after eighteen years she finally realized you were the one
"cheating" her out of what she really wanted, and she decided she wasn't going to waste any more of her life on you. Better to cut her losses and get out now rather than to wait another five, ten or twenty years for nothing to change.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (24 March 2012):
 Yes, sometimes the 2 cheaters do marry each other. Most of the time it doesn't work out though for the reasons that caring guy pointed out. I always think of this old saying "If he/she cheats with you, they will cheat on you". How solid of a relationship can 2 people have when they are cheating, that's what I always wonder. I was married to my ex for 2 years and he was remarried within 6 weeks of our divorce because he had gotten another woman pregnant....that was 30 years ago, and he is now going through divorce #5..he has cheated on every one of his wives. Amazing huh? (actually quite disgusting!) I guess the point is that its very unlikely that even if the two cheating people marry, the odds are very slim that their relationship will work out. The odds are they don't know each other very well and how can they trust one another when they both cheat? Give yourself time to heal and try not to dwell on what your ex is doing. I'm a strong believer in karma, and what comes around, goes around. From my experience, the come uppance comes at a much higher price too! It hurts right now I know, but someday you will feel better, I promise. Trust me, I sit back and laugh every time someone talks about my ex......50 years old and 5 failed marriages..he did me a favor all those years about! LOL
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 March 2012):
To be honest, most relationships that start as an affair come to and end in the end. I think the figure is something like just 12% make it. The reason for that is that when having an affair, you never really what the other person is truly like. You see what you want to see, you see the act that has been put on. Your ex and her new husband saw each other in a certain light. Now they have to live together, and over time truths about each other will come out. Your ex, for example, will always be a cheat - and her husband will always be on the watch for signs that is happening. Her husband will have only seen her at times when she was still married and not entirely committed.
There is a chance that it'll work out, I won't lie. But there is a much bigger chance that it'll fail - it was set up on a failure and a lie, and that's most likely how it'll continue.
All that said, your interest clearly suggests that you're hurting from all this (I'm not surprised), so my suggestion to you more than anything is that you spend a good amount of time working on your own life. No disrespect, but single middle aged men who have gone through a divorce often wind up having too many take-aways, wearing the same clothes and putting on weight - men do not take divorce all that well. So I really think you need to make efforts to move on from this and move on with your life. Don't waste your time wondering whether your ex will get her comeuppance.
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