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Would you date a guy that's 14 years old if you are 17 years old?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2012) 10 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *zzygurl writes:

Hey everyone...

I just wanna ask this question.

Would you date a guy that's 14 year old but he's almost 15 and you are 17 year old? And he's also in the 7th grade and you are in the 11th grade in school.

Thanks, I'm just asking.

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A female reader, Tuts333 United States +, writes (9 June 2012):

Tuts333 agony auntA 17 year old girl more mature than a 14 year old boy. People tend to say well what if you're 24 and he's 23 that's different because you both are now mature and his mindset is way better at 23 than 14. So my answer is no, I wouldn't. We'd be on totally different pages and different mindsets.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012):

No! Absolutely not. You'll be 18 soon, an adult, while he's still a child. You'll be graduating high school when he's still in middle school. The age and maturity differences are far too great. Dating a 16-year-old is already a big difference. Most girls your age would want to date someone older. When I was 17, my boyfriend was 20 and my best friend's boyfriend was 19. They drove us on dates, took care of us, and offered advice/support from experience when we needed it. Imagine going on a date with a 14-year-old. You'd have to drive him around like you're his big sister. You'd have to take care of him when he should be taking care of you. You'll never be able to connect or understand one another. He'll even be too young to be allowed as your prom date. Also I'm sure both your parents would be against it. Normal parents would never want their almost-adult daughter to date a child unless she is mentally behind. Good luck on finding someone your own age!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 June 2012):

Honeypie agony auntPersonally, I wouldn't.

A 17 year old GIRL ought to be FAR more mature then a 14 year old BOY.

Not only are you 3 years older (and at this stage in life 3 years can be a lot) but you are also 4 years ahead of him in school. ?It just doesn't seen very even.

I would say the same thing if the boy was 17 and the girl 14. Though I would bet that their maturity level would be more even if the genders WERE reversed.

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (8 June 2012):

Denise32 agony auntNO! Absolutely not. The age difference is far too much at your ages.

In any case, why would you want to? - or this is just a hypothetical question?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (8 June 2012):

chigirl agony auntSorry, no I wouldn't. But I know of others who would.

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A female reader, babu3u United States +, writes (8 June 2012):

babu3u agony auntI dated a 14 year old when I was 17. Of course it only lasted 6 months but he was great and I was in love. Now he is 18 and I'm 21 so it doesn't look that weird anymore but I'm with someone I'll my age and I believe he understand me better. Is good to date a younger :) so go ahead have fun!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012):

Honestly, it depends on a number of things. How do his parents and your parents feel about you potentially dating?

Next, does he have a developmental disability or low IQ that has resulted in him being held back in school? (if he does, you could get in a lot of trouble once you turn 18 especially if you engage in intimate sexual actions together...there would be an issue as to whether he could legally consent to these things and could result in you being charged with sexual offenses against a person with a developmental disability; this could result in you being convicted as a sex offender.)

If he has behavioral issues that have caused him to be held back in school, this could cause problems with your relationship.

Do you plan on going to college once you graduate from high school? If you do, how do you feel you would both handle the relationship if it is still going strong at that time?

Personally, i would just try to be his friend.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (8 June 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI was 16 and dated a 14 year old boy... for a bit.

now it seems laughable to me since when I was 17 my current partner was FOUR...

not that i wanted to date him when he was four...

if you like him and he likes you then go for it.

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A female reader, sarcy24 United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2012):

sarcy24 agony auntGosh this was a long long time ago for me and the age gap seems huge at this age but nothing when you get into your twenties. I went out with a 14 year old when I was 17 and he was just great. My friends laughed to begin with and then got bored and moved onto laughing about something else. If you like him go for it!

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A female reader, claireh96 United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2012):

Personally I wouldn't. If he was mature for his age and went to a different school then I'd give it more consideration. But if you really like this guy then go for it! Age is only a number right? :)

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