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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: The night began with a party and was all good fun , I ended up in bed with a girl that I know quite well and we were both naked and fooling around with fore play . Naturally I was extremely aroused and wanted sex ..she said NO , I stuck by that ..this happened a number of times . During the night , I could not sleep , we were talking she would drop in and out of sleep , I managed the enter she and recieved NO objection , she was wet and moaned with pleasure . She is now saying I raped her , and threatening me with being charged . I certainly would never force myself on anyone , I hate that idea .. But am I correct or not? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, _Katy_Did_  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 So, you're saying it's her fault for being there in the first place? That he should hold no blame for what happened? No is no until you get a yes. I can't tell you how many times i've heard that stupid line "she's says no but she really means yes".
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): I think this is a question of common sense . NO you certainly did not rape here ..People are suggesting she was asleep ?? Hmmmm , dont know about you , maybe I must be a light sleeper , but I certainly couldn't sleep though that .
I understand this concept of No meaning NO , but women do that all the time , start off saying No , No ..but meaning Yes .
Its Rape if she was pushing you off , or struggling saying No , she sounds like she was as into it as you .
And really to any girls ..Just dont put yourself in positions like this if its the case that you really Do not want Sex , dont get in bed with him ..Thats the common sense part .
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): i guess you want the answer you are looking for.
if she said no , if she knows you , if she is saying you raped her . you did . all she wanted to do was play around and you had sex wit her plain a simple . no ment no and i don't think it takes much brains to think about how serious it could be but i guess the man in the pants got the hold on you !
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 "Wow ..the western world ..heh , gone crazy ..and did I wear a condom ..NO ..I dispise condoms , they ruin the moment ."
Your a disease carrier, please go and tell that woman to get tested, just in case you have chlamydia, HIV, Aids, Gonorrhoea, or the 101 sexual diseases that are prevented by using a condom.
Why did you come here. You asked what we thought, so we told you. You don't like the answers we gave, so now you make up answers for yourself. Hell, don't ask us, go and ask the girl if she's happy that you had sex with her AFTER SHE TOLD YOU NO! And make sure you tell her that you never wear a condom and she could put her fertility and life at risk by what you done.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (21 February 2010):
This is a grey area in the law, and it would the courts would not prosecute you, because they would believe she had consented by lying down in a bed with you after she refused sex. That's probably what British law would say.
But for me, it's rape. When I tell a guy NO!!! and go to sleep, I don't expect him to stick his penis in me. Your lucky, I'm a violent woman, I'd make sure you never stick your randy dick in anyone again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Condoms ruin the moment huh!!!! So is she pregnant or have you given or recieved an std??? Wise up please!!!! Your attitude in your follow up kinda stinks....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Ewww. That story got me wondering why do rapists exist? But again why do viruses and wars exist? We just do not know why. I hope some day viruses, poverty, wars, and people like the OP will just vanish.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Rape. You deserve whatever happens to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): she said no to you all night, and then you still stuck your d*ck in her? the way you put it in your initial posting, it does sound like rape. 'she moaned with pleasure' could mean she moaned because she didn't want you in her or wasn't aware yet of the context of what was going on...and she also said 'no', but you carried on anyways. hmmm.
now you are changing it to say she had to be awake because it wasn't a 'jab session'. Is this actually true? you did it doggy, missionary, girl on top, spooning, reverse cowgirl, etc...right? that's what you are saying? you are honestly saying that after you penetrated her, you had a full blown sexual experience with her and she was an active participant?
why is the first post so different from your third post?
p.s. women can be wet and not be aroused. it's happened to me. it's a natural reflex to protect the vagina. it could also have been residual from when you guys were messing around earlier. it's not like we can totally control what our vaginas are like at all times. wetness isn't like an erection. it doesn't go away in a few minutes! i've had sex where i didn't want it and was almost crying, but still got wet down there.
p.p.s. some people can have sex while half asleep. my friend's boyfriend used to have sex with her when he was almost unconscious. his junk worked, but his mind was completely absent and sometimes he'd not remember a thing about it the next morning, or just remember parts of it... also, was she drunk? screwing someone who is less conscious than you in any way, who objects to it, is still taking advantage. drunk or otherwise impaired people often don't have the strength or awareness to completely fight off someone.
i have nauseating memories of having sex with my boyfriend when i had drunk enough to make me nauseous. i could barely talk or ask him to stop and was only half conscious. i didn't tell him to stop. i couldn't tell him to stop because i couldn't find the words. it was easier to just let him do his thing and i was so out of it, all i could focus on was not vomiting all over him and myself. i didn't want sex with him. i imagine i was wet because i always get wet when there's any type of sexual contact wanted or not. i was able to participate, but i didn't want it. this wasn't rape though, because i couldn't say no and he had no idea (i'm hoping) that i was as drunk as i was.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): What part of NO was hard to get? Of course it was rape. And it is pathetic to talk about moaning in pleasure and so. You have committed rape and she has to press charges against you. Our society needs to be protected from people like you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): You Guys are freaking me out ..Im not saying you are all NOT correct , and I really did not want to add to this . Its not like she was just asleep and I entered , It was more a case that we were both in an out of sleep , I certainly never forced myself on her ..I never even thought that there could possibly be a complaint ..
But to say shes correct ..What do you need a signed document ? believe me , she was enjoying it at least as much as me , and it was not a short " jab and blow " ..It was a detailed session , with changed positions ..No one could remain asleep , purely on the activity ..
Wow ..the western world ..heh , gone crazy ..and did I wear a condom ..NO ..I dispise condoms , they ruin the moment .
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 You have to be very careful. What you did was not really a good thing at all but she would be a bad person to use the law against you in this instance.
Google "Angus Diggle" - this case was a cause celebre in the UK back in the early 90s. There are certain similarities with your story. He was sentenced to 2 years in prison and served 12 months and his case they didn't actually even have sex. I don't know him but I know someone that knows him and this one incident, a bad choice made when he was drunk, is still making his life miserable 17 years later. He went to an expensive private school, trained as a lawyer but he has never been able to find proper work.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): I bloody hope that you used a condom, she was drifting in and out of sleep and you still slept with her? HOW DESPERATE ARE you. THat is disgusting She said no when she was wide awake, yet when she's drousy you take the advantage!
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female
reader, veronika  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Even if she was "wet and moaned with pleasure", it could have well been an involuntary act on her part, because she was sleeping - and when you sleep you are in an altered state of awareness. There are a lot of things you do while you sleep that you are not fully aware of, and because she had been drinking, she may have been in a deeper sleep that made her unaware of what you were doing.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): The responces are interesting , and stick to one theme , I find this quite incredible ..but Im guessing you are all correct ... But it makes no difference that I entered with NO objection and she was wet , and moaned with pleasure ???? Wow .. I would have thought it was clear cut .
You have to be extremely careful these days , I certainly dont want to go though this again . To others out there , see how easily this can potentially happen .
Its all one way in my view .
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Sounds rape-ish to me.
It was not in the same ballpark as the kind of violent, degrading, evil-motivated crimes that come to mind when the word "rape" is spoken.
But this was an unprecedented new step in physical intimacy between you two. She said no and made actions to stop you when she was awake. She was asleep when you had sex with her later on. That list of details adds up to an involuntary act on her part.
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female
reader, veronika +, writes (21 February 2010):
I would say yes. Because she said "no" and then later you physically had sex with her when she was sleeping. Technically she never consented.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Technically , it was rape but it is very hard to prove in court .There was no witnesses and it is one man's word against another and furthermore there were no evidence of forced entry or violence.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): To put it bluntly, yeah you did you too far. If she said 'no' when she was awake and aware, then you shouldn't hace assumed she would change he mind just because you repeadedly kept pestering her. Frankly forcing yourself upon someone during a half-conscious state when they are not fully aware is unethical. She should have been more sensible, but bottom line she said 'no' and you ignored her. If I were a firned or family member, I would be more then pissed at you.
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male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (21 February 2010):
Well sometimes there is a gray area. She could claim that she originally said no and that she was asleep when you put it in her. What were you thinking pal. Just let it fall apart right now. See if it goes away on its own
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