A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Would you consider a woman who had casual sex with 5 guys (all college friends) in 6 months extreme behavior or par for the course for a gal getting over a stale relationship? Before this stage she had only been with one guy for two years.(19-22 yrs old) The last one of the 5 guys she hooked up with she dated for 6 years. So her total amount of different partners is 6 but she had most of them in relatively short period of time. Is it common to have a stage of your life like this? I would greatly appreciate anyone's insight, particularly female insight to this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): I strongly disagree with Jayney Y that even asking someone about their past habits represents insecurity.
If it's not okay to ask about their past habits, then it's not okay to have any opinion about a person's moral values, sexual health, and even their emotional stability.
I'm sorry that some people's pasts can be so inconvenient and embarrassing in retrospect. But that's no reason to pass off the blame onto the new person for just trying to protect themselves and figure out who they're dating.
A
female
reader, Jayney Y +, writes (21 July 2009):
That's relatively few. It's always a dumb idea to probe into someone elses sexual past. If they offer the information, fine, but to ask anyone how many partners they've had indicates insecurity on the part of the asker, amongst other things. Not everyone has a religious upbringing, so they dont necessarily perceive doing something as normal as fornicating as some sort of social misdemeanour. We are not in Victorian times.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): It is kind of common after a breakup for women to get through a lot of partners. After my wife's friend broke up with her husband (in her forties) she seemed to have a new boyfriend every week, and my wife even banned her from our house for a while because she was afraid that I was to be the next object of her attentions (she wasn't really picky - she was sleeping with married men, drunks, men who would beat her up and one who stole her credit cards and car).
She has calmed down a bit now and has had the same boyfriend for nearly a year.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (20 July 2009):
some have more some have less one of my friends was only 30 and she had over 60 partners in that time. so i guess some go from one extreme to another. we all have a rough image of what we think is acceptable and whats not so 6 to her might be the equivalent to your 2. perhaps she really did go through a bad time and was jumping men but we cant judge each others on our bad judgement we all make them and some find out sooner than others. we dont all make the same mistakes at the same time or ever so we have to be understanding. if your really that bothered about it then talk to her about it other than that let it go your doing no good going over it and making it worse in your mind. good luck aphex keep us posted x
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