A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We're both in our early 30's. Anyway, he's been living out of state for the last 5 months (on work) and is finally moving back here in 2 weeks. He hasn't found a solid place yet, but has the money for rent/deposits so we've both been looking. So, a few weeks ago I was looking at ad's on craisglist of ppl wanting roommates.I found this ad, wrote the woman's number down and then relayed the information to my bf. I contacted this woman, via text, to give a nice reference just to help my bf out, and he called her. After his call, he calls me and doesn't sound too enthusiastic and it was basically dropped. I assumed he wasn't really interested in the conversation they had. She said it was her and her ol' man and one older tenant living on the property. Ok, so this is where I thought the conversation ended. Over the last week or so I have mentioned her due to her having a cheap room that would allow him to get on his feet here. Not to mention, he's coming back on the 19th and will need a place. Today I was talking to my bf and he said that living there is out of the question (as we're still looking for him a place) and when I asked why he told me because he looked her up on facebook and assumed I wouldn't want him living with her based on her appearance. I have jealous moments sometimes and because the woman dresses kind of hippy-ish he thought I wouldn't like that because one of his ex's dressed like she was still in the 70's. You get the point.I then proceeded to ask him why he looked up a stranger on fb and he told me because when she replied back to him through craigslist she included her email and he thought he'd look her up to see what she looked like before making a decision about the apartment. I wasn't aware he even contacted her on CL, I only thought they'd talked that one time on the phone. I got pissed off, without making it obvious, and asked him why he's been talking to this woman. He told me he looks anyone up on fb if they give him a name out of curiosity. He said that he'd also looked up one of the men whose number I'd given him about an apartment as well. He more than willingly gave me this woman's name and had me look her up. There was no threat, in any way, except now I'm worried they've been "chatting". He told me that after he looked her up on fb he told her that he had saw her ol' man at the plasma center before, which means they've clearly talked AFTER he saw her facebook. He also told me she said she shouldn't rent it out to him simply because he has the word "demon" in his email address, and I remember him telling me weeks ago, when he called her, that she seemed like the religious type, saying he wasn't allowed to watch horror movies in the house or anything. Am I overreacting here or what? Because all my mind can think about right now is that he's been chatting with this woman for weeks and he wanted to look her up on facebook, just to see what the woman looks like he's been talking to. NOT what his possible landlord looks like. He asked me why he'd say anything to me at all if there was something more to it, but my mind is spiraling out of control.
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cheap, facebook, his ex, jealous, money, roommate, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (9 July 2013):
 Gosh you need to relax! If I were going to have to share a house with anyone then I'd look them up on Facebook, you can tell a lot from people's appearances so I wouldnt want to be living with a weirdo, so Facebook is brilliant for checking out what people look like!
You are well and truly over-reacting, he simply wanted to see what this woman looked like because she would have been a potential house-mate. Living with someone is a big deal so there is no reason in today's modern world why you wouldnt use the internet to find out more about the person you are living with.
And think about this - surely if he fancied this woman and wanted to be with her then he'd have taken the room? The fact that he said he didnt want to live there shows there is nothing going on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 July 2013):
 I see nothing wrong in checking out a potential place to live. I don't blame him for doing it. Could be a crack house for you know.
I think YOU are making a crazy big deal out of him using some common sense. YOU didn't know her, you just saw her offer/posting on CL (of all places).
I think you are creating drama where there is NO reason to. Maybe because you two have been LD so long?
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (9 July 2013):
 You have nothing to worry about. It sounds like you're just a bit insecure and need to learn to trust him.
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