A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years but for two years we were on and off quite a lot. He is over ten years older than me and lives about 100 miles away. I see him every fortnight. He is a lawyer and has lots of female friends, some single some who are not. Because of his family (different religion/culture) he cannot tell his friends about me in case it gets back to them. He has a lot of female friends and goes to dinner and lunch with a few in particular, some who are solicitors some who are not. Should I be worried? He is quite a charming guy and gets flattered when he thinks a girl likes him. I know essentially it comes down to trust and he says he doesn't always tell me when he goes out with them because I get jealous and throw it back in his face which for the most part is probably true. Would you be jealous if your husband/bf was going out to dinner with other pretty girls? Help!
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): My wife and I used to go out to lunch with friends of the opposite sex at times years ago. That was back when we were in our 30s and 40s, both before and after we got married. Neither of us ever saw anything wrong with that.
I once went to dinner with a female friend. We worked together. She lived in the town that we worked in and I lived 50 miles away and traveled. She had a 2 day business meeting near where I lived and we went to dinner that night. She was married and my wife and I had been dating for about 2 years. My girlfriend would come and stay with me after work, but she didn't show up that night. I asked her why and she said that she didn't want to interfere if my friend and I went back to my house after dinner. We didn't. We just did some shopping and talking and then I went home alone. I don't recall my wife ever going to dinner with someone of the opposite sex while we were dating or married.
You either have to trust him or it will cause a big problem. If you have no reason to think that anything improper is going on then just accept it. If you have a valid reason to think that something is going on then approach him on it, but make sure that you have a valid reason and not just jealously. I think that we all have a little bit of jealously at times. We just have to control it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): Hi there, most people are flattered if someone else likes them, but at least he is telling you about going out with the other women and letting you know they are friends - his honesty in that respect means that you have nothing to worry about. I would be concerned that after three years he is still keeping you a secret though - surely if he was serious after all this time he would have bitten the bullet and told his family/friends about you - otherwise what chance does the relationship have for the future (and we all need to think ahead..) xx
...............................
A
male
reader, Ricky1989 +, writes (19 March 2009):
just dont get worried. hes been going out with you for 10 years cos he likes you, if he wanted you just for the sex he would have moved on long ago.
i know its not exactly the same, but 2 out of the 3 gfs I've had have been fine with me taking other girls out - I even took one out just 1 on 1 for her birthday to dinner. if you dont trust him its going to get complicated, so just dont worry.
...............................
|
