A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well over the weekend my husband and his co-workers threw a retirement/55th B-day party for his work friend "Corey" that they threw at the beach. We had games,alcohol,food and all the typical beach party gear.When we were playing volleyball on a few occasions I overheard Corey making comments and joking around with my hubby about how nice I look in my spandex shorts,my husband loves that stuff when other men show attraction towards me so he proudly takes that all in.Throughout the day I had caught Corey checking me out and it made me feel really sexy!So about 7or8 drunken hours later we cleaned up and hit the road my hubby had been passed out in our friends Suburban for about an hour and was sprawled out in the middle row seat so I tried to wake him and he just mumbbled a bit and didn't move so I sat in the third row seating with Corey.I must have passed out myself because the next thing I remember is being awakened to is being laid out on my stomach with Corey under my midsection lightly massaging my ass and repeatedly tracing my thong line from my hip to my butt crack and it felt awesome so I didnt lead on that I was awake and just let him continue.There was just something about being sexually aroused by another much older man than me with my hubby who I truly DO love in the seat ahead that just tripped my trigger.In all honesty while he was doing this I was fantisizing about Corey peeling my spandies off and tearing off my thong and letting my climb on top of him and rock his world!! I guess what I would like to know am I horrible being a HAPPILY married woman and allowing this to occur and loving it! Would you consider this cheating? Thanks,Ann
View related questions:
co-worker, drunk, married woman, older man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): I have to agree that this was sort of sexual assault, mainly because he was taking advantage of you while you were passed out. Was it cheating? I think that once you woke up and enjoyed what he was doing to you then it was cheating to a certain extent. If everyone was awake and Corey had patted you on your butt or something like and you just smiled then I would call that sort of a harmless flirting if no one was bothered. However, even that is going a bit too far at something like a company get together. It is a good idea to be restrained at something like that where people just work together and are not normally all just close friends.
It also sounds like you were dressed a little provocatively for a social event such as a company get together/party. I am a believer in being more conservative when at a function like that. Provocative dressing is fine while on vacation or out at night or even at a party with friends, but functions like this where people have to work together the next day need a little restraint.
A lot of people have fantasies about having sex or something like that with someone who we might know or have known in the past. I don't see a problem with that if it doesn't progress into real action.
Should you tell your husband? Probably not, but I think you need to act in an appropriate manner depending on the people at the event and what the event is. My wife dresses a bit provocatively when we go out to dinner or are on vacation where no one knows us, but neither of us would want her to dress that way at a company picnic. I want her to look nice, but not show off all her parts.
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 I dont think counselling is needed here..I feel hunny you just need to veiw this from the other angle...Your down the beach with your best mate and she is coming on to your husband while he is past out. While you are passed out! bit wierd dont you think?
You were asleep past out whatever!!!!! he did not know u had woken..That is sexual assult, Havent you thought about that?? Ok so your writing in asking if you cheated well if it were me that guy would have had a huge black eye and not been able to walk for a week!!!!!Yes this got more than out of hand and if you love your husband like you say then just take a step back we all make mistakes in life, We wouldnt learn anything if we did not! So I dont think you need to be told yes you cheated as if your some really bad person as this I feel is not the case, I feel you are confussed as to why you felt like this as you love your husband and it makes no sense if you really do, You said your husband loves it when other men look at you he thinks its a great as he has you and they obviously want you, This I dont believe to be a great way to show off your parntner to your mates as aventually this kind of thing will happen..It like giving them the green light! GO! If you need a chat message me love TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): simple answer, yes you did cheat on your husband and i would seriuosly considered getting counselling before your hubby finds out through the grape vine.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): you know you enjoyed the attention this other guy was giving you, you may have been asleep when he tried to arouse you but you awoke just in time to enjoy the full benefit of corey. of course you cheated, you deliberatley acted like you were asleep and enjoyed him sexually stimulating you. deny it all you want, you know the extent of your desires and you desired whatever this man was doing.
i note you did not mention that you were uncomfortable with this corey and what he was doing to you while you were actually still asleep. so i am asuming you condone his moves made to you and condone him touching you inappropriately. in fact you just enjoyed the sexual gratification.
did you cheat, my darling you know the answer to that. we do not have to answer this for you. babes, you know you enjoyed this so please do not pretend. in fact this corey had your full blessings once you were awake. and plse don't even think of inviting the retired corey over to your place on the pretense of family outings. you know you want more. you may claim to be happily married, but not too happily married to enjoy another man, even though he is your hb's friend. darlings its about the choices we make and you chose to enjoy his sexual attention. remember a fantasy is in your head, not actual physical interaction which transpired bet you and this old man. in fact he was this dirty old *astard now wasn't he.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Welll i'd just continue pretending you were asleep, if you had shown you were awake it would definitely be cheating! And this corey guy sounds like a bit of arapist, massaging down there when you were sleeping?! I mean wtf! ISSUES
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 June 2009):
Well since you were "asleep" it's not really the act of cheating... but you are having some dangerous thoughts there.
Do the smart thing, keep this labelled "silly fantasy" in your mind rather than thinking it's a crush or connection or anything.
Then just make sure you don't see this guy again and don't have contact for chats online or by text.
It's just not worth the risk.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Do I think its cheating?
YES!
You think this is acceptable behavior?
Lay off the booze, and grow the hell up.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Its great to be desired by another man, but when that man takes advantage of a woman when she is asleep.... well that is sick and who knows what he would do if he had had more opportunity?
Stay as far away from this man as possible and limit all contact with him as he will ruin your relationship with your husband.
...............................
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (3 June 2009):
Hi Hunny
Fantasys are fine but this was a bit more, To this day does he know you were awake? This was not good behavour!a gentleman touching you when passed out its invasive to say the least..I could go alot futher...
HNNY DONT GO THERE! Yes its lovely to be payed a compliment its not wrong to think of sexual things but this your playing with fire and to be honest he doesnt sound a good friend to your husband...YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): For some people it would be, for others it would not. What you really have to do is dismiss out opinions and think about what if this happened to your husband? Would you be upset? Would you consider it cheating if he did it? And what if he were there awake? Would he have cared? Only you know the bounderies in your relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): I would say it is carrying a fantasy dangerously too far. As "Corey" is retiring, you will probably not be seeing much more of him, unlesss you choose to. I think you should choose not to.
...............................
|
