A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance has treated me like crap for 4 months RUDE!!! I caught him texting a girl from work now that he's caught, he's being really nice and things are back to normal, I don't know what to think. In my book Texting another female and hiding it is cheating, am I wrong?MOD NOTE: I have re-written this as it was posted all in CAPITOLS, hence why some of the older answers may refer to the use of capitol letters.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Can't say unless the text's were sexual in nature. I think texting back and forth CAN be harmless but once it becomes VERY personal and even sexual I do consider it cheating.
If those are texts he can show you, then they should be ok. If he hides/delete them.. - red flag
A
female
reader, summerslady21 +, writes (4 June 2009):
I agree it is forms of cheating and it is very wrong! Yes you do have choices but it all depends on where your heart lies. If you love him and think it will work ok but you have to give him a few choices to make. Or leave him and forget him its a choice only you can make but do what's best for you! But you can not allow this to continue! You are just opening yourself to be used and hurt more! Hiding it makes it more suspicious you know! Good luck and remember do what's best for you and your future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): i think if you read all the posts here about partners texting /emailing others then you would know that these people do not stop once caught. they are already emotionally connected. it is like an affair, for now just NO sex but everything else. the dirty sex talk, the feelings, emotions, what he would like to do to her. by texting /communicating, he has incested his time with her, he has spent time thinking and contemplating "something" with her.
so yes, it is cheating. you need to make a choice whether you can live with this 3rd person in your relationship.
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A
male
reader, Who +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Anyway, what were in the texts? Was he flirting or just being friendly? If he said the same things to another woman in person, would that be cheating in your book? Has he done anything else to treat you “LIKE CRAP 4 MONTHS RUDE!!!“?As stated below you have the choice to forgive and forget or dump him. If you decide to forgive, you and your fiancé need to sit down and go over what is in each other’s books. What you consider in bounds and out of bounds. Should he be able to have female friends? Should you have male friends? Do you need to tell each other every time you speak with or text some one of the opposite sex? Marriage has its ups and downs; it is not perfect and neither is your fiancé. Neither are you. Whomever you end up married to you are going to have to be ready for a few rough spots and be able to work through them. And you are going to have to make it clear to your husband where the line is that you don’t want crossed or you will leave him. Good luck and hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 He has emotionally cheated on you! Don't stand for it! Get rid of him!! X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): I'd say it was cheating or not depending on the content, and then this leads on to how much they are texting. Of course, he was hiding it, so that could mean he's guilty of some form of cheating. If you can trust him not to do it again then put it behind you and move on. If you can't, then maybe think about whether you want to stay in this relationship or not.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 June 2009):
Well depends what he was talking about. If they were just friends then they were just friends.
If not then either:
a) forgive him and forget it and move on
or
b) dump him.
Your choice!
Good Luck!! xx
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