A
female
age
26-29,
*tuartObsessed
writes:Sooo...Im kind of stuck. Im a teen, who is pretty um... well, my heart wants some pretty impossible things...Theres a guy. Hes 31.I know for sure that this is love. Obsessive love.I built a shrine for him and burned a flower as an offering.Obsessive is an understatement. But I like loving him this much. I don't want to get rid of my obsession. So phyciatric(sp??) help is out of the question.My problem is the age difference. 16 years isnt terrible is it!? He knows I love him (but the shrine and offerings are secrets), and he's a popular as a rock star around my friends. He kisses me goodbye on the forehead, and I ALWAYS HUG HIM. Ive never missed a chance. He has a friend who's 42 who my friend (who is my age) is in love with. But her's is just like...Sex hungry love.I want him so much but our ages...I wish I were atleast 26 ): Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): I'm in a similar delimma I'm 15 and I'm in love with a 35 year old, most people think it's wrong but unless they've experienced it and fell for someone much older than them then they don't seem to understand it, they just automaticly think it's wrong, obviously it's not!
But be wise, if you love him like you say you do, wait untill you're legal age then atleast you can do whatever, I have to do the same, I love him so as soon as i'm 16 I'm gona ask him out 'cause I have to think of him as he'll get the bad end of it if I try something now and he reacts. So just be careful.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): I'm in a similar delimma I'm 15 and I'm in love with a 35 year old, most people think it's wrong but unless they've experienced it and fell for someone much older than them then they don't seem to understand it, they just automaticly think it's wrong, obviously it's not!
But be wise, if you love him like you say you do, wait untill you're legal age then atleast you can do whatever, I have to do the same, I love him so as soon as i'm 16 I'm gona ask him out 'cause I have to think of him as he'll get the bad end of it if I try something now and he reacts. So just be careful.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): I myself am in a similar situation. I'm 23 and have feelings for a girl I meet at a wedding 2 weeks ago. She is beautiful. I couldn't keep my eyes off her all night. Then the bomb dropped, I found out she is only 15! I felt so ashamed even though I didn't act on my feelings, I felt very annoyed and angry with myself. I thought she was about 19 years old just from the way she looked and handled herself. I have a very severe hatred towards paedos, child melesters/abusers, wife beaters and bullies. I think of myself as a law abiding, moral, loyal, trustworthy and truthful member society. Anyway, I got phone call at the weekend from a family friend, saying that she wants my number which suggest the feelings are mutual. They refused to give her my number because they and myself included, think I'm too old for her. I haven't felt this way about someone in the last 4 years. I want to talk to her but fear that if I do, I will be brand something that I despise. I have no desire to have a sexual relationship with someone under the legal age of consent (16 in the UK), but my desire to be with this girl clouding judgement concerning the age difference not sex. If she was 16 I would not be writing this. I won't have any guilt or remorse. I don't want this one to get away. This is one catch I want to keep and not be brand a paedo! Think long and hard about what this could to both of you, don't rush and think. I am thinking what I should do. Good Luck Hen
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): I don't think there's anything wrong with this obsessive feeling as long as you don't take it too far with the guy. My advice is to let it run it's course while loving him in secret (it is fun isn't it ;) lol), and eventually find a boy closer to your own age when you're ready for a "real" relationship. I just hope this man doesn't try to take advantage of you, because I doubt that you'd truly enjoy it if he actually DID do something. One of the fun things about crushes like this is that they're safe - the feelings can get extremely strong, but there's little risk of facing reciprocation or true rejection since a 31 year old shouldn't be acting on feelings for a 15 year old anyway.
Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Karlin24 +, writes (26 May 2009):
 Girl, this is a disaster. When I was 15, I was in love with a 27 year old. The same crap, thought he walked on water. 16 year age difference isn't bad when your 30, but at your age, you are on two different planets. You are in the time of your life when you should be with guys your age or just a little older. This guy will look for a woman with a job, her own life and maturity. That doesn't mean he won't have sex with you, but you will be a notch on his belt and he will move on. If he really finds you the kind of person he wants to have a relationship with, trust me, there is something wrong with him, that he is afraid of women his own age. That is not an insult to you. You would boost his ego incredibly, but in return it would tear you apart. The fact that you have a shrine for him says alot. It's infatuation with an older man. Everyone has one at your age. And if you don't recognize it for that, it will be disasterous. You have your whole life to date older men, but only this time to date young, fun, men that share your interests. Please take my advise, I've been there, several times, and wished I was smart enough to listen to the older people that gave me the same advise. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): Your ages at this point will leave you in not only an awkward situation, but a very legally uncomfortable situation..
To answer your question.
He probably finds your crush on him cute, but does not take it seriously, and I think it would be a lot healthier for you to NOT be acting/feeling this way.
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