A
female
age
41-50,
*iko
writes:Dear Cupid, I have a big problem I am not familiar on this Im only 29 and this is my first time to encounter of this kind of problem.My boyfriend has a problem he doesnt able to come out but he gets hard on.He never ever come out weve been for half a year.I just want to know why?if i ask him he always say its on his mind because he had a trauma with his family when he was young..I know he knows the reason for that but I think his not ready to tell me..but he asked me to marry him but Im afraid because of his case.Do you think he is impotent?but he gets hard on.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 I found a weblink that may help you with this:
http://men.webmd.com/guide/overcoming-ejaculation-problems
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 July 2008):
If you want to have children, and you want to have them with this man, this problem needs to be sorted out. It is not fair of him to ask you to marry him if he has not been able to tell you what trauma he experienced; as ask oldersister said, this will eventually become a problem in the marriage.
If I were in your shoes, I would make sure that he is seen by a doctor to rule out any physical issues. I would also ask to hear what kind of trauma he experienced and I would most likely request that he get therapy for this. It is nothing to be ashamed of, getting help for mental health issues. You take care of your body and your mind deserves no less.
So while you love him very much, I would urge caution for you. You've been together 6 months? Is that right? That is not much time to have really gotten to know one another. So I would give the relationship more time, but I would tell him that you cannot answer the marriage proposal until this issue is dealt with one way or the other.
I understand that what you describe is not uncommon. Many men are like your boyfriend and cannot reach climax, some not at all, some only after a very long time. You could do some research on the 'anorgasmic' or 'anejaculation' key words.
What I read somewhere was that in order to overcome this problem, a man should eliminate any recreational drugs and avoid alcohol beforehand. He should also stop masturbating, as this might desensitize him, and the vagina may not give the pressure that his hand can. Trying different positions might help as well.
Again, if you want children, this will need to be addressed, and it should be done BEFORE you two get married.
Hope this helps.
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