A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Would like some input, especially from those who are in large age gap relationships, whether as the older or the younger partner. I care very much for a widower who is 19 years older than I am (he's 56, I'm 37). In terms of interests, living habits, life values, outlook, we're compatible. However, he's wary of the age gap, he sees it as being unfair on me. I understand his concerns, I know we'll only have a short time (by most relationship standards) to enjoy each other's company and I'll end up looking after him. I have thought about it for quite some time and I feel it's worth fighting for. I do have other concerns, him being a widower and the attendant issues, but that's another matter, and it's easier to discuss that with him. I know he cares about me, but he always brings up the age gap.I just like to hear from others who have been / are in similar situations, whether it's as dire as the naysayers seem to foretell. I know everyone is unique, but it does help knowing there are others who share the same road. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, supermum  +, writes (6 November 2012):
 I am 21 dating a 40 year old. What has age got to do with the price of fish? When I was 17 I dated a 45 year old. I like older men because I have an older spirit than most my age, so men my age seem immature and not compatible.
Address your concerns, but don't worry about the age factor.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 November 2012):
 I understand totally how he feels.
I am 52 my husband is 39 so our gap is ONLY 13 years... but I am recently physically disabled with a permanent illness. I am still mobile and employed but as the years go on that will lessen... I tried very hard to get my now husband to leave me when we got the news back in March... he would not...
so now we are married one month today and so far so good... we've been a couple for two years....
at 56 if he lives a long healthy life you have 30 years or so together... my dad is 78 and still very very active... he walks, he golfs, he travels... age is very relative after about age 30....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2012): When I was 16, I dated a guy who was 20. When I was 17, I dated a guy who was 24. When I was 18, I dated a guy who was 21. When I was 19, I dated a guy who was 22. It's not uncommon. But my age gaps are smaller. Honestly, just let him know it's ok. That you don't mind and you care about him disregarding his age.
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