A
male
age
41-50,
*ary9834
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a 35 year old male who lives in the UK. I prefer younger women aged between 20 and 30 and would like some suggestions for genuine age gap dating sites. Before anyone asks: no, I am not looking for a notch on my bedpost or 'arm candy'; I just naturally prefer younger women and would love to have a loving long term relationship with an attractive (both physically and personality-wise) woman in her 20's.It would be great if you could share your successful age gap relationship stories and offer me some advice on dating younger women between 20 and 30. Some men in their 40's and 50's are able to attract younger 20-something women, so I am sure it won't be that difficult for a 35 year old like myself to attract a younger woman aged, say, 25. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2014): I'm 23 and prefer older men but older men have messed with my head and hurt me, a lot more than men my age. .
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (6 October 2014):
Dear OP,
With the kind of age gap you are looking for, I think you can just go and try on any regular online dating site. Don't make a big deal out of your preference for younger women, it's not like it's such an unnormal thing, it's pretty common. But it starts to sound sleazy if you put so much emphasis on it.. it actually makes you look quite shallow if the most important quality of a partner seems to be her age.. like you are fixated on something specific and physical. By the way, many women are looking for an older partner, although I think most look for a man about 5-8 years older than themselves and not 15 years older. The reasons are that women like the experience and maturity of an older man.
However, you really can't put a number on loveliness, OP. I think the more open-minded you are while dating, the better your chances of finding a suitable partner. I've learned that as a single, you shouldn't start dating the way you would go grocery shopping. Don't make such a long list of what you want. In the end, life may surprise you and teach you something about love and the range of your desire, that you didn't know before you met that special person.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 October 2014):
 I seem to naturally prefer younger men. My current husband is 13+ years younger than I am.
I have to be honest... as a supporter of age gap relationships, I have seen many. Both older women and younger women although I find I see more younger men with older women than vice versa so perhaps you will not like or heed my advice.
I have NEVER seen an age gap relationship work when one partner TARGETS (as you are doing) an age group. I also find that having a specific age group cuts off many chances you may have.
What i suggest you do is figure out WHAT it is about the younger women you desire and then instead of targeting an age group you target the behavior you seek. If it's their looks you are in trouble...but if it's an attitude or a lifestyle.. then you would be better off seeking any woman with those attitudes and lifestyles.
NOTE targeting the young firm slender body of a younger woman is not a good idea as that body will change over time and you will want to replace your younger woman over and over with more and more inappropriately aged women.
EVERY age gap relationship I have seen work LONG TERM has one thing in common...THE OLDER PARTNER goes into the relationship kicking and screaming. they abhor that they love someone so young and they don't want to tie them down so they try to end the relationship. Man or woman.. does not matter... when you love someone then you want them to be healthy happy and whole long term and knowing you will become a burden to them later on is too painful to bear.
Now if all you want is some temporary fun and games and to keep a young thing around till she starts to age... then you need to find some "sugar daddy" type site (the male equivalent to "cougar world" (my husband was on that site before I met him) and you need to be:
a. very handsome
b. very fit (better be in that gym 4-6 hours a week minimum)
c. fairly well off (good job with disposable income) and very GENEROUS with your time and money.
d. highly sexual and well skilled in that area
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2014): I personally wold never be with someone so much older than me.But I know some who married and had kids with a men even more older. It also depends on your personality. If you are youthful and outgoing this is one thing but 10 years difference can play a big role when for example you are 40 and 50. For a woman it's a prime age for sex, for men testosterone starts to act up but he still needs to satisfy his partner.Also lifestyles. At 40 she is still a young woman wanting to do things. At 50 you are somewhat seen it, done it. Also, Men who lean more toward that much younger partner usually don't care that much about personality and if you have something in common, but more about physics. They want to have this young body with themin bed but 10 years difference is also a difference in mentality, life experience and so on. But young body soon especially after child birth becomes not so young anymore, so they move on to a younger version. I knew men like this who did until well into their 70s. It was a never stoping process for them always looking for youth. When I was in my 20s men in their 30s looked pretty old to me. Unless someone would offer me a totally different fun life I wouldn't even consider to be with someone so much older. So if you are nit in a very good shape and have a bit of money saved up to show a young thing good life your chances are kind of slim. And also about these men in their 40s, 50s. How do you think they get the 25 years old? I am sure not with speeches or grey hair. I am sure they spend generously.,
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 October 2014):
 Those guys who are in their 40's-50's who are attracting 20 year-olds typically have one very attracting quality: They are financially very well off. On that note, you typically have to be careful of internet profiles where the women makes it clear she's looking for a large age gap, because often she is in search of a "sugar daddy".
Since you asked for age-gap stories, I dated a guy who was 10 years older than me (my largest age-gap), and he's the one I regret the most. He turned into a psycho stalker that took years to fully get away from. That's a long story for another post. I don't have a problem with age differences as long as you're not one of those "trade-in" guys who dates young women and then trade them in when both of you age.
There are women out there who specifically consider older men to be their type, so I think you'll be successful. You don't have to have a lot of money, you just need to be more mature and refined than the guys in her age bracket. There are also many women who find themselves restless with the man-boy or slacker types who would find someone a little older and intellectually stimulating to be right up their alley.
It goes without saying - you really have to take care of yourself physically as well. That's your greatest competing aspect - the younger guys with their faster metabolisms and youthful physiques...and, I don't know the state of your hair, but while I have always considered bald to be hotter than hell, many Hair restoration clinics exist because a full head of hair is considered youthful by many 20-year-olds. However, as George Clooney can attest, salt-and-pepper hair is just fine. So, up your physical fitness and appearance game big time. You live in the UK? American women love the British accent, so that may be a draw to any young Americans living in the UK near you.
It's funny, given this world of feminism, many women look for older men to treat them like princesses, with throwbacks to better dressed times, more cultured dates, and less game playing. Guys from former generations were more versed and good at chivalry and gentlemanly behaviors. I'm not just talking about flirting with the waitresses or not ogling other women during a first date, I'm talking about the walking on the street side, holding doors open, all of that stuff.
I would suggest the pay sites, because many free ones like pinterest or plentyoffish are oftentimes sell-points for escort services, and "age unimportant" is a red flag for that sort of thing.
Otherwise, you could do it the old fashioned ways, and meet people through hobbies or shared groups like sports or whatever.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 October 2014):
 I think the most popular dating sites like plenty of fish would work best because decent people who pay for other sites like Match are also on POF. You talk to a girl you like then ask if you are in her age bracket. It works best if she likes you for who you are and not necessarily your age or how much you make. You don't make it obvious that you are looking for young women. Don't make age a big deal. When you get a young girl's interest just say to yourself she just happens to be younger. A good way to get a girl to talk to you is to express interest in her profile, be sincere in the first message and ask a question that prompts a response. No open ended ones like how's your day. You start talking general things such as what you are looking for, where you live, work, and family. If she agrees on a date then great! Then providing the information you have about her, find out her past and what she had been missing from childhood, past boyfriends (only if she shares). Then show her that you have the qualities that can satisfy her and make her happy. That's how people fall in love. I think you are looking for a formula and special technique when there is none because everyone's different. If you want a woman who is young, lively and fertile you have valid reasons, but don't think they are all alike and respond the same way to your pursuing.
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