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female
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anonymous
writes: hi!i recently got engaged,and me and my partner are planning our wedding for 2007.we were thinking of having a civil ceromony in the hotel where he proposed. neither of us really like all the formal dining after a wedding, as nice as it would be. the hotel is about 100 miles from where we live and obviously everyone who we would like to come may not be able to. my parents are quite traditional and my mum has politly put her foot down for a church wedding, which being honest, is something ive always dreamed of.id like a traditional wedding without all the formal stuff that goes with it, ie something relaxed where everyone can feel as relaxed as possible. however my partner has his dream in the hotel civil ceromony. how we we both meet without upsetting everyone?
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male
reader, Grim Reaper +, writes (29 December 2005):
 Why not have the civil ceremony at the hotel, and later have it blessed at a church? In Ireland for example, there is a long tradition of "church blessings" where a couple have married abroad in a civil ceremony and had it blessed at church when they have returned home. That way you keep everyone happy. Just check with your local clergyman if this is a possibility before getting excited, as this may NOT be possible or allowed in your state/country/area.
Then sit down with your partner and discuss with him what parts of the wedding are important to BOTH of you and why they are important, and work from there.
Finaly, make the arrangements that the two of you are happiest with, and if your parents don't like your choice then tough, your wedding is YOUR wedding and you can have it anyway you like. Don't do any part of the wedding just to please them, if you do, it will spoil your day.
Just remember "A wedding is the joining of two people, NOT two families."
GOOD LUCK
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