A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:My boyfriend and I made it official last week but he has a trip booked to his friends birthday.That birthday happens to fall into Valentine's day weekend. He knows that I love Valentine's day, I was quite annoyed when he first told me and kept hinting it, but he felt like I was attacking him. He's leaving on Thursday and I'm seeing him tomorrow before he goes. I love valentine's day but he's quite laidback about it all. I don't want to be too pushy and I still would like to get him a present. I just feel a little disappointed. I like to spoil people and all that cutesy stuff. But I don't want to pressure him...help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2015): Well even though he already had these plans, he should be mindful and sensitive to your interests. It is Valentine's Day and it is not unusual for you to want it to celebrate it, as any girl would.
He should at the very least acknowledge that this is an important date to you and be sensitive about the whole thing. Maybe offer to make it up to you before or after he gets back.
Maybe he's got something planned for you unbeknownst to you.
Yeah get him a little something. He is your boyfriend. But don't give him a hard time about something he can't change. He already has plans, so be cool about it. It'd work more in your favor to let him know you would like to celebrate Valentine's Day with him and then suggest exchanging gifts and doing something before or after he gets back. But don't be mad that he has plans that he made before he became involved with you. Just find a solution that both respects his plans and your interests.
A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (11 February 2015):
 Spoiling him and doing cutesy stuff when you've only just made it official would seem clingy because, well - you're a new couple. It's not a major deal right now because you could break up in a couple of weeks and feel like it was a waste.
You don't really rank above his friend's birthday if it was either planned before you were official or just in general because you've only just become official and Valentine's Day was essentially created for companies to make money, not a "special" day, like a birthday.
I know you're upset by it, but I don't think you should buy a present this year, just a personalised "glad you're my Valentine" card because he's not bothered about it and could see it as clingy, not sweet, as you've only just agreed on being a couple.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 February 2015):
 I would find a (not to expensive) CUTE little Valentine's present and a card. DO NOT go overboard, that can wait till next year .. or the year after .
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