A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a female friend that I have known for about a year. Even though we haven't known each other long we are pretty close. She lives hours away so I don't see her often, but we text and instant message each other almost every day if it is just to say hello.During this period she has dated a few guys but it hasn't worked out for her. Most of the time she breaks it off after a few dates because she is picky. Recently, though, she found a guy she really liked and she spent a lot of time with him. Then she found out he was married and she went through some heartbreak which she is just now getting over.Last night I was messaging her and she wrote: "Can I tell you three words even if its weird?" Maybe I am clueless or always just thinking negatively but I was thinking she was going to say: "I am pregnant." Instead, she said: "I love you." I instinctively responded: "I love you, too." I meant that in a platonic way and I was also trying to be supportive because of the recent heartbreak. I asked her what made her say that and she said that "Sometimes I have things inside of me that make me feel like I am going to burst if I don't let them out."It was late and we both had to get to sleep so we didn't say too much more. However, now I am wondering if I lead her on by responding back the way I did.I do like her, but not in a romantic sense. I know she likes me, too, and wants things to go farther. One time I went to her place and she got a little high and suggested we have sex since neither of us had had any in quite a while but I talked her out of it by saying that I don't sleep with people the first time if they are high or drunk, which is the truth. She hasn't been that forward with me since but now her message yesterday has me wondering if she has deeper feelings for me or if she was just being a good friend. Do I just let this go or do I say something? I love her as a friend but not in a romantic sort of way.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 February 2015):
 NoraB is correct. Contrary to common stereotype it actually IS possible for a guy to "love" a woman ... without seeing her - and treating her - as a sexual conquest.
Stay close, and friends with her... and don't add any additional emphasis to her declaration of love for you. Things will level-off as she emerges from the hurt of having been used and/or betrayed by her married friend...
Good luck...
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (11 February 2015):
Well she is so lucky to have a friend like -one whom she can share the good and bad times with.As you stated you are not in love with her-and she is on the rebound from the married man.So she is hurting and confused in her feelings.It would be wise to keep your friendship just friendly [unless you want it otherwise]Right now she needs a good friend ONLY like you .Maybe you could explain in a gentle way that you love her only as a friend.And in the meantime be very carefull what you say to her .Hopefully you will be able to remain friends with her .Best Wishes NORA B.
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