A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all heres the thing i wrote recently asking advice about telling my bf im moving in alone as hes unemployed but i have recently found out im pregnant i work 40 hours n he dont. Now im stuck my parents kicked me out which is fine ive gt money saved to moved out orginally now wud it be harsh to get a plc for myself n my baby n say to my bf he need to get a job before he can move in. p.s i would not stop him from seeing this baby thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011): Well as your pregnant I assume you will be going on maternity leave before 9 months is up? Then what..return to work,put baby in nursery or not go back and live off benefits?
You may find you need your boyfriends support as your parents dont seem to be giving any - or are they?. It could be a while till he finds a job with the way things are..is he trying or has he always been workshy?
I would definately move in alone,see how you feel later in the pregnancy, but don't exclude him from being a 'Dad' or from supporting you emotionally through the pregnancy
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (31 December 2011):
I don't think it's harsh: it's realistic. If you're going to keep this baby it's going to stop you from working fulltime, which means less money. When the baby is born you have an extra mouth to feed as well. If your bf moves in without funds to back you all, it's only going to cost more and your savings will be gone in a minimum amount of time.
So yes, tell him that if he wants to move in with you he needs to contribute financially because you can't support 3 people on 1 salary.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (31 December 2011):
 Its going to be difficult to continue working 40 hours once the baby arrives ... and there are going to be many, many unforseen costs associated with the new arrival.
Why would you add the extra burden of an unemployed adult, if he is unable to fairly, regularly and effectively contribute to the costs of running a home I would leave him out of the equation.
I would also be laying the ground rules for when he comes over to visit the baby, make sure he is aware he is a VISITOR to the house, and that doesn't give him carte blanche to your fridge, wine rack or biscuit barrel.
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