A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've never had an orgasm through intercourse and I was wondering if anybody else has had this problem and how they fixed it. I've never told my fiance about it before and I don't know if I should. I think he might get upset. The sex we have is really good while its happening but I jus never finish unless he's giving me oral sex..should I let him know or is there something I can do to fix it on my own?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (31 December 2011):
 Addressing intimate/sexual matters by yourself is much like trying to clap with just one hand!!!! Therefore...
Sometime, when the two of you are NOT making out or being intimate, sit him down and show him this note and tell HIM just what happens to you and how you feel.....
Give the guy a chance to understand YOU.... and what does (and doesn't) rock your boat.... and decide how YOU AND HE will handle such matters.....
Good luck....
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (31 December 2011):
 Yes, I think it is important for you to let your boyfriend know.
You aren't unusual in this regard and many woman can't have an orgasm through regular sex. They can be turned on - to a point, but actually cresting that wave is virtually impossible.
I imagine if you don't tell your boyfriend, you'll be forced to fake it or he'll keep trying until you beg him to finish. You must also tell your boyfriend that it isn't him, that it is just the way you are built "down there" and that you love being with him. Sometimes a man's ego is tied to his woman's sexual satisfaction, so be gentle in letting him know.
Happy new year and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011): Absolutely, how else is he going to learn to please you?It is very important that you talk and that neither of you get uptight or embarrassed about it, at least not after the earliest discussions. I've been there, from the male perspective, and it is great when people talk.My current partner has had around 200 or more partners, none of them were able to give her orgasms, except for me.Why me? (Besides the fact that I am the world's most incredible lover, bar none, of course.)When we first met she would have sex with me, and then want to get up and go do something right away, anything but lay there and enjoy the afterglow of lovemaking. To me it was apparent that it wasn't "great sex". But it was what she was used to, and she wouldn't talk about it, for years.That all changed, because she finally trusted me enough to talk to me about it, and to tell me what she needed, and wanted, and I was the one who was patient and dedicated enough to give it to her. Great trust and talking leads to great sex...don't ever forget that.Now, after I'm done, she's not going anywhere soon...well, if she did they'd ask her what was wrong because she is sweating, shaking, trembling, and very short of breath and can't even walk for a while afterward.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (31 December 2011):
 You're perfectly normal. Most women can't reach orgasm through penis-in-vagina penetrative sex because it doesn't stimulate the external portion of your clitoris, which as person12345 below me has already stated, is the most sexually sensitive part of most women's bodies.
Go ahead and tell him that you can only reach orgasm through oral sex. You don't need FIXING, most women are exactly like you.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 December 2011):
 Why are you ashamed of something that is totally normal? if your bf doesn't know this about women, he's pretty clueless. Only 25% of women EVER, in their entire lives, have an orgasm from penetration alone. And that's not necessarily can regularly, could also mean just a one time thing or very rarely. The vast majority of women can only orgasm from oral sex, fingers, or even only from vibrators.
We just don't have that many nerve endings in our vaginas. Everything is in our clitoris, even when women have orgasms during intercourse it's because the clitoris is stimulated in some way (maybe indirectly, but somehow). Asking a woman to orgasm purely from penetration is like asking a man to orgasm purely from rubbing his scrotum.
Just relax and enjoy the fact that he can give you orgasms at all! You're totally normal, there is no problem to fix here.
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