A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am almost depressed because of being single for a long time. I had just 1 boyfriend in whole my life that we broke up 3 years ago. everybody agrees that I am beautiful, friendly and sociable. I have a lot of boys roaming around me and all of my friends are surprised why I do not have a boy friend. but in fact, the people that I had loved after finishing my first relationship, were all unavailable. I am awfully sad and do not have any hope for the rest of my life. I just do not understand what causes me to be miserable and lonely. what is missing? while there are a lot of boys telling that I am beautiful, why even one of them does not ask to be my friend? during these 3 years, 3 people liked to be my boyfriend, but I did not like them. although they never told me directly.I have just met a guy during a trip. We have been together for 3 whole days with a lot of my friends. I got really interested in this guy. I have heard through my friends that he has a long distance relationship but he rarely talks about it. His behavior was so friendly with me and of course all the other girls. Although we are a bit far from each other but I'd love to be in a relationship with him. It has been about 3 years that I was not in any relationship, cause I didn't fall in love with any guy who is available. What can I do? Do you think it makes problem if I tell him directly? I am pretty sure that I will not be able to find whom I love easily, this has become my dream.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): Dear Poster
I believe there is somebody for everybody and everybody deserves a relationship filled with love and excitement; but I do want to caution you not to lose sight of the fact that you do not have to have a man in your life to be happy in your life. I think you should change your mind set: be more positive about yourself and life; dust off your interaction skills; with the right communication know-how you can learn how to physically, mentally and emotionally engage a man in a genuine way. And with everything you have got going for you, guys will be drawn to you once they get to know you and recognize how passionate and excited you are about life. Get into the the DATING GAME and remember each and every one of us has a unique set of skills; you are going to be a Knockout, because you are a winner. YOu have value, you are worthy and you won't settle for less than what you deserve just because you want somebody.
Remember, winners do things that losers do not want to do; be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses and give serious thought to what you want and what you don't want; create a vision for your life and get ready to attract guys that will match your sense of personal worthiness. Be positive about yourself and life and keep SMILING; you will meet that special someone who will light you up from the inside out.
Best wishes and keep me posted.
A
male
reader, Chippymunk +, writes (22 November 2008):
 Hey, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are, except my friends (even my parents) think I'm gay because I never had a gf and it really hurts when they tease me about it. But I have to agree with the posts below, and don't think you should tell him, especially if he has a gf already. He may be happy with his relationship and you may be setting yourself up for rejection or if he does decide to leave his gf for you, you'll be breaking up a relationship and most likely end up hurting his gf real bad. I was in a similar situation about a month ago. I volunteered with a girl who treated me real nice and was really friendly towards me and we got along great so I thought she had a liking for me. So one day I summoned up the courage to ask her out. It turns out that she was already in a serious relationship and boy was I embarrassed! So I guess what I'm trying to say is, him being really nice to you does not necessarily means he likes you in that way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): Trust me on this.. there is nothing wrong with you. I am going through the exact same problem.. seems like everyone of my friends has a b.f..and they tell me the same things .. so I'm sure it has nothing to do with you, you just havent met the right guy yet :) and you're worried... but don't be... you are 22! You are so young right now - the right guy will come along when you are NOT looking for him =) who wouldn't want a girl like you, as you say you have it all! Just what is missing is the confidence to believe in yourself - and then you will attract the right kind of guy.
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