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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,About 3 months ago I worked with a guy who is about 10 years older than me. We saw each other enough times so that we would stop to chat in the corridor but after 3 weeks he left to move to another job. I thought nothing more about it until I went out to dinner with some people from work and someone had invited him along. He arrived late and sat in between me and the woman who had invited him (she has a boyfriend and I know they are just friends by the way!). For the rest of the evening we were completely antisocial and talked to each other for most of the time. He barely talked to the woman who had invited him even though they are good friends. At one point I vaguely noticed that everyone had stopped talking and were looking at us, I think they had being trying to decide whether to get coffee or not but in the end they didn't bother asking us as we seemed to be so engrossed in conversation. We even tried each other's desserts! He was talking passionately about his work then suddenly got embarrassed and said he didn't know why he was telling me all of this. He also mentioned his age quite a bit as if he felt old compared to me. It turned out that he knew a guy who lived in the flat next door to mine and he said he would come and visit me when he next came round. I was actually going to move in a few weeks but didn't say anything at this point as it seemed awkward.Towards the end of the evening he asked if I was OK for a lift home - a female colleague had already arranged for me to go home with her so I thanked him and declined but had been a little surprised as it wasn't even time for people to leave when he had asked. When people finally started to go it seemed a bit sudden and I felt like it threw us a bit. I wasn't sure how to read the situation and we ended up saying goodbye with everyone else around. He said again that he'd probably see me when he came to visit his friend and then I blurted out that I would be moving soon and he said 'oh well' and we turned away from each other. He had parked in the same direction as my friend and 5 of us were walking the same way. After a minute we were walking side by side with the others ahead of us. Things felt a bit easier again and we were chatting about places that we liked to go for coffee - unfortunately we suddenly arrived at my friend's car and she was standing there waiting so we literally said goodbye and he mumbled that he couldn't remember where his car was and that was the last I saw of him!I don't have his number and now I've left that workplace as well. I've been busy changing jobs and now it's two weeks since we met and I can't help think about him. The problem is I can't tell how to read the evening - he's quite charming and I don't know whether he was being pleasant or whether there was chemistry between us. The only way I have of getting in touch is to email his friend and then ask for his email address. If I do this what would I say to him without sounding like a stalker? Is it too late after two weeks?
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female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (12 August 2005):
By the sounds of it, you and this guy have a great chemistry between you. If you don't get in touch with him you will probably be left wondering "what if?"
Two weeks isn't too long to leave it, after all you reacquainted recently after he'd left the workplace and got along really well together after a period of separation. So I would say, yes, do get his contact details and contact him in a friendly way, perhaps mentioning how much you enjoyed the meal. You could use the excuse that you are giving him your email address/contact details in case you have moved when he visits his friend.
He gave you all the right signals that night, but just one word of caution- you mentioned that he is a charmer. Charming men can make you feel at ease, good about yourself and quite easily make you fall for them! You don't seem to know everything about this guy, except in a working capacity so take time to get to know him well before you get too deeply involved.
Good luck!
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (12 August 2005):
I dont think it would be inappropriate to ask for his email address, write to him but if he doesnt reply, dont push it.
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