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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My niece is 14 and says she is pregnant. What should I do? I really don't want to tell on her but I just want to make sure she gets help what should I do???Would I be wrong for not telliing on her??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 Personally the other two aunts have said what you should do and it is excellent advice in my opinion, but just remember that if she did not trust you in the first place she would NEVER have come to you.
You are obviously close and she looks up to you to confide in you in this way. Does she get on with her mum and dad and does she have any other siblings at all?
Yes personally getting a double pack of Clear Blue or something similar would be my first thing to do and for her to come to yours to carry out the test. She will then need time for it to sink in and to know in her own mind how she wants to deal with it if the test is positive.
Does her mum know that you are close and does she ever spend time staying at yours?
I am assuming she has told you what happened and who it was with? Has she spoken to this guy about what she thinks is going on? Has she actually taken a test already by herself or is it just a case of a missed period that is freaking her out?
I mean at the end of the day she could have missed a period for all sorts of reasons and not all to do with pregnancy, is she under any bad stress right now?
If she has done one test and refuses to do another one then take her along to a GP or clinic and they can do a test there and then or take bloods as well as a urine sample to confirm it. I think finding out about her options as well would be good, do a little research so that if she does want to talk it through with her parents you can let them know you are trying to be her support right now and if you have some information for them to look at this may also show that you are not anti or pro either way but once the information is laid before them then it can be discussed and I think her parents will only consider that you have tried to keep a confidence but only up to a point before it becomes a certainty to talk to them.
I wish you well and you are in a very tricky situation but you are the adult here and you are the one who has to keep a clear and level head on her shoulders.
I have 3 teenage nieces, 2 who will be 20 in July and one who turns 17 in May, I am really conscious that any one of them could become pregnant and how I would deal with it if that was the case. All 3 have boyfriends so just try and remain as calm as possible and why not get yourself a bottle of Bach Flower Remedy which is really good as a spray or drops onto the tongue and they are excellent at keeping you calm, honest. They are also herbal so no fear of becoming hooked.
Let us know how it all goes eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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