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Would I be wise to take another chance with him?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hello, i split with my boyfriend of three years, almost three months ago. The desicion was his, i tried all ways for us to stay together but at the time he was having none of it.

we stopped seeing each other all together, as he lives a 1hr and half away from me, but he would send me the very occasional text asking how i was.

i only ever answered his texts never sent one first, and always let him know that i was doing ok and happy.

i wasnt at first of course but over time i accepted his decision, and gradually got the idea of missing him and us getting back together out of my head.

last week he asked me via text if he could ring me up, as i felt i was ok with it i agreed, and during the conversation (which was just friends chat) he suggested coming to pay a visit and a catch up.

I said yes it would be fine, so yesterday he came.

(when we were together he had cheated on me once, and chased another girl)

as we were chatting he asked if we could give it another try, i told him that i did not trust him, and that i couldnt.

He told me that he will change and that he knows now what he wants, (he has lied in the past)

we were having some wine as we spoke and we both got tipsy, and stupidly i ended up in bed with him. He stayed until morning time.

we had coffee together and there was no further talk about us. After he left he text me to say "thanks for a lovely time, miss you already x"

From an outsiders perspective, can you advise me here, i find myself wanting to trust him, wanting us to try again (i have not told him this).

Was i just a booty call? what do i do next?

would i be wise to take another chance with him?

Thank you to anyone who can help me here.

View related questions: booty call, cheated on me, text

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2010):

1). He dumped you.

2). He cheated on you once before.

There are your two chances. You've given him to chances, and he has failed you. That proves you're not that important to him. It is not wise to give him a third, because it will lead to the same thing. You getting hurt. I think you should explain what happened happened, and it shouldn't have done. Then end all contact, and don't' answer texts. Don't waste your life on a second rate man.

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A female reader, trueatheart United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2010):

trueatheart agony auntI think that because you have allowed this guy to stay in touch with you, even after you split, he may have got it into his head that he can hurt you, walk away and be with somebody else for a while, and yet still have contact with you and creep back into your life when it suits him. He's getting what he wants all the time. From what you've written here, his actions don't suggest that he truly cares for you. You need to consider what's really best for YOU in all this. If you want him to love and respect you, don't make it easy for him to get back into your life. Take care.

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A female reader, girl from bristol United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2010):

hi i dont think you would be wise to take another chance as he will cheat again and you cant trust him, he probably never intended to sleep with you but you both got tipsy and it happened

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