A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am in a relationship for the past 3 years..everything was going smooth until I found out something about my boyfriends past that has left me disturbed..My boyfriend was friends with benefit with a girl for a year this was before he met me,and the girl fell in love with him,he dint like her the same way they had to stop what they had been doing before feelings got hurt..well we decided that we would not talk about our past,but somehow this topic came up about 2 days ago and he told me the truth..(The reason this came up was we were being stalked by his FWB woman)..she would literally leave so many voicemails,messages so I assumed it was an ex and when I asked him he told me..My boyfriend is very caring and we r getting married soon but now I don't know I'm rethinking..I don't believe in friends with benefits and he just slept with someone for a year and had no attachment surprises me,I can't imagine he would do such a thing,it makes me thing if he would cheat after marriage..what do I do?I can't stop thinking about this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2012): No I really don't think you have anything to worry about. First of all, men think very differently about sex than women - it is much easier for them to have sex without feelings so the fact he agreed to this arrangement and didn't get attached to this girl is not much of a surprise really. We women dont often get it, but thats men for you. Secondly, he is now in a relationship with you (which he never was with the other girl), so he obviously cares about you enough to make that commitment to you. He has been clear about his intentions with both of you from the start, which is much more than can be said for some guys. If it was just about sex for him, he could have continued to lead the other girl on, but he didnt - he ended the arrangement with her when he realised her feelings were deeper than his. This was the decent thing to do and shows he didn't want to hurt her. Finally, he was honest with you about his past. All signs of a good guy to me.
A
female
reader, SamShaw  +, writes (16 September 2012):
Well obviously he's got feelings for you or he wouldnt be marrying you. But youve got to think this was before he met you..
He might of just needed to do that year of FWB to get that wild side out of his system.
so it could be a good thing that he did it.
Talk to him, express your concerns and see how he reacts.
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