A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need some advice with regards to a man.. I met him last week in a club with friends, I was in my local bar and he was there and we got chatting. Straight away I liked him and it has been ages since I have liked anyone (Had few ex's still floating around) everyone telling me to meet someone new, but every guy I met didn't do it for me.So we chatted, and I liked him instantly, his from america and we met in South London and it turns out his been living here in my area for 2 years but never met before. me and all my friends went back with them and he ended up spending whole weekend with me at mine. was wonderful. The thing is, well there is a few things. one I am about to move away, like in the next 2 days, till Christmas to do a course, I recently quit my highly successful advertising job to train as a teacher, not sure I actually want to do it, but always got told make great teacher, so at the age of 32 I have decided to do try and start next week. The course is in Scotland though!!! I am dreading going as it is as love living in London and never been away and it is only a 3 month trial course but still. thought going is making me feel sick. Now even more though. So anyway he knows about this and says it's cool as now till christmas is not that long and long as back some weekends (which I will be as I am a city girl)we then went on a few dates since then and had what I thought was wonderful times, but since the last date his gone very cold on me, I messaged him to say thanks for great date, wont see you before I go Scotland so see you in few weeks I hope when back....That was 5 days ago and nothing. Now I am wondering if I was just some fun because he knew I was going away and had no intention of seeing me?I am so confused, is it because I am going that he doesn't want to be with me, I so wish wasn't going in first place, now even more. Second to this is fact that he has a very well paid high powered job in the city and a flat he owns and travels all around the world, I use to have the job but now given it up and going to be earning a third if that of what he earns and no chance of travel, I don't own a house or have any money at all saved, in fact I am in debt and yet all my friends are in the city still earning loads and I feel like I am not good enough for him anyway. do guys care about that, I mean would he rather be with high earner like him (like one of my friends, be with her) or would you guys date someone same age as you that had a much lower paid and different sort of job? would you be bothered about her going or would you still date her and does the fact at 32 she has no money or owns a house etc, bother you?I really like him Thanks x
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): Wwell he probably finds your decision to quit your job to do teaching just because people said you'd make a good one a bit silly and whimsical. But everyone has their quirks, and I'm sure that hasn't anything to do with him not replying, I mean u didn't ask how he was or any questions so it's hard to reply to your text. If u want a reply call him or text him saying how are you
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (11 September 2010):
 He may not be wanting to get too attached to you right now, because lets face it you are going away for three months, and there is no guarantee you will even want to date him when you come back.
He isnt your boyfriend, he has no obligation to wait for you, and right now he is sitting on the fence. He is keeping his options open. He might meet someone else in those three months. He is not committing to anything, so he is not going to give you false hope that he will be there when you get back. In some ways that is him being honest with you. He isnt saying one thing, which will then not happen. He is not promising anything.
What concerns me more is that you say you had a high powered well paid job in the city yet you have no house, no savings are are in debt? How come?
You are now concerned that he doesnt want to date you because you dont have these things?
What have you done with all your pay? It could be that he thinks you have been irresponsible and wasted the opportunity. The fact that you had the money and are now in debt perhaps suggests you could be expensive and high maintanence? Perhaps he worries that now you are not earning he will have to fund whatever it is you spent all your money on? I don't know - these are just all suggestions. Outside perceptions can often be way off, but I would be concerned. I dont earn much, but everything I do get is put to constructive use. Every penny goes on bills, nothing is wasted. If I had a big salary, I would be putting away for a rainy day so I could afford my own place. I would love to have the luxury of that.
Now you are on a lower wage you are really going to have to be careful about how you use your money. As someone who also works hard for not a lot I know how tough that can be. You have to be very self disciplined and I do hope you have that, because being a teacher can be a tough job. Emotionally as well as the work. Marking till 4 in the morning is funnnnnnnnnnnn. Big tip, lots of coffee. And always mark the first few in pencil, so you can go back and remark them at the end, that way you can check if you are marking consistently.
Good luck with your course, I hope it is the beginning of something you enjoy. I know that I find it very fulfilling :)
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 "I messaged him to say thanks for great date, wont see you before I go Scotland so see you in few weeks I hope when back...."
I got a msg like that from a girl last week... I didn't respond because I just saw her the night before so what more is there to say? There was no question for me to reply to, it was just a statement.. so I didn't reply. Doesn't mean I'm not still keen on her... that's just me, but I suspect that there's a chance you're over-thinking this...
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