A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I used to like this guy in highschool- and unfortuantely the word got out and he found out.. I havent seen him in a few years.. I look entirely different and now have emotional intelligence and experience here in college... But..If I happen to run into him one of these days one of these years... would he still think I was as disgusting or a turn off as I was before in highschool as an ugly duckling? Its sad too...because Ive tried to move on.. and for some reason I keep getting reminded of him... If you were the guy suddenly saw this chick... but she was different... what would you think? is once a so-thought-"stalker" always a freak in ones mind?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): We all change, we all look, act and think differently from when we were at school, so why are you worried? If you do bump into each other then just be yourself and stop thinking of things in the past. I was a right gawk at school and now i am even more gawkier, haha, not i'm not, but stop worrying and get on with life!
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Hi Anon,
What do you mean by "stalker?" Did you really stalk him - find out his personal information (social security number, house address, phone numbers, medical history, etc), figure out where he lived/worked/hung out, etc? If he really thought you were stalking him, then I would guess he'd still be freaked out. I've been stalked by someone before, and I honestly wouldn't care if the guy dropped dead because he creeped/creeps me out so much (and it's been several years since it happened). If your gut feeling is that he's weirded out by you, then he probably would be - because only you know what sort of history the two of you have together.
If all you did was have a crush on him, know his classes, and know who his friends were, then I would hardly think he'd still be weirded out. It's hard to even *avoid* knowing these sorts of things about classmates that you have a crush on. If you see him, you could just say hello and see if he responds. If he does, then that's good - maybe ask him how he's doing or something and see if it leads into a conversation. If the guy doesn't respond or seems uncomfortable, then at least you were polite even though it didn't lead to anything more.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, forgetmenot +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Not always but it's impossible to know what he'd think. If he actually felt you were stalking him at any point he'd be at least wary of you even if you're a total knockout now. It'd be foolish not to be wary of someone who's been obsessive about you in the past. If you just mean he thought you were a stalker in so far as you were a girl who had a huge crush on him and he didn't like you back and you never acted in anyway that would freak him out then he was probably a bit flattered and if he ran into you now and knew who you were and thought you looked pretty he might be even more flattered but honestly there's too many ifs and buts and maybes in this scenario. He might be in a serious relationship now. He might've turned out to be gay. You might just never be his type. You could be absolutely wonderful in every way but just not right for him and he could be perfectly lovely but not right for you. How well do you know this guy? By the sounds of things you haven't seen him in quite a long while so even if you knew him well he's probably changed a lot, just like you have. How much time did you ever spend with him? Did you ever talk about anything real? How much do you have in common? Part of my worry here is that you like the idea of him more than you actually like the guy himself. So even if you did run into him and he did find you attractive, you could find him completely and utterly boring. He might not even be as attractive as you remember him, both physically and personality wise. There's just too littel to base anything on for it to be worth putting any real amount of thought or emotional energy into for you. Just remember him for what he was. Your highschool crush. And move on with your life. Enjoy singledom whilst getting to know the people around you now. Good luck :)
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