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female
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anonymous
writes: To those people who answered my question about 'how im friends with a married guy', to me its not really a 'sexually thing' as such but i dont know. But i definatly dont call it an affair because im not cheating on anyone, so how can u call it an affair on my part to the guy who called it that!? Anyway, i think this maybe coming across to other people as something else, when its not. So how can people say or call it a sexually thing when im not really touching him like that? ................ok i did mention about possible having sex with him, and i know if i did go down that track that it may change things between us as good friends. So if i did, how do u think it would change things between us?
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female
reader, pica +, writes (14 October 2006):
You are kidding yourself. I am friends with a lot of married guy and I've never seen their genitals. That's hardly a 'friendly' thing. It's sexual, end of story. Sounds a bit like that famous guy who tried to convince the world that oral sex didn't count somehow ;))
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2006): The thing is Eddie, I'm not a black and white person. There is no reason to make excuses for someone I do not know. Morality is a standard that common society makes up through many philosophies, religous doctrine, administrative laws, personal upbringing in ethics and principles, and so on and so forth. By saying she is a cheat in my opinion is wrong. However, by saying she is contributing to that guy cheating would be correct.
'Morally', it would be wrong of her to pursue that sort of relationship, but objectively, the wrong-doing would be on his part more-so than on her part.
I won't debate this with anyone here further. It's like math - if people can't see it, even if we try to explain it, they won't get it.
However Eddie, I didn't say you were wrong in your assumptions. It just means that you have a higher affinity with love and good family values. Not that I do not. Just I am more neutral in my PoV's.
8]
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (14 October 2006):
 C'mon Martini, quit making excuses for bad behaviour. Wrong is wrong and you know that is true. On the simple level of what is morally right and wrong, it's poor judgement.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2006): Furthermore, if you get involved with him emotionally even WITHOUT sex, its STILL cheating. It would be an emotional affair. Because the tender feelings, thoughts, romance he should be putting into his own marriage are going to you, instead.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2006): No, I do NOT think you're cheating. Your married male friend however IS cheating - or at least, close to cheating.
The problem is on his part actually. Most people in our common society would fail to recognize this because they are deafened by your involvement with a married man. As I always mention, the test of faith is on his part. You are merely a catalyst or a tool to test that man's faith. If you tempt him and he goes after you for whatever purpose, then the test of faithfulness would have failed on his part. If you temp him and he doesn't go after you for whatever purpose, then test of faithfulness would have been successful.
Doesn't it sound like I'm a religious preacher of some sort? [shudder]
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (14 October 2006):
You ARE cheating. Since you're so selfish, maybe this will make sense to you. You're cheating YOURSELF !!
You're getting a penis with a beating heart attached to it.( no brain or morals though ) You're not getting a romance. You're also cheating his wife and kids. They think they have an honest father/husband. If you drive the get away car in a bank robbery, you're still guilty!! You're not playing by the rules decent people live by.
Unless you're a nurse, how did you get to the point where you touched his penis? Those are your words, not mine. Was that instead of a handshake?
Most people won't understand your dilema, especially married people. You're the enemy to a good marriage. Relationships have ups and downs, strenghts and weaknesses. You're involved in the weak part.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2006): lol..girl are u crazy! if you was such a caring and understanding freind..why would you destroy his marridge? (my spelling is abit crap..but oh well!) look..dont even go down that route..people always want whats bad for them..enjoy his freindship..at first you would have fun..it wud be different...bla di bla...my sooner or later...his wife would find out..before u know it...hes gna be makin a big decision about his future..bu will dat future involve you? so not only will you loose him as ur sex thingy ull loose him as a mate too! dude.. i say you go n flex sum next man...at end of the day tho..ur gna do wateva u feel like is best...and ur ansas will slowley ansa themselfs...freind x
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