A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm 45 years old, all my children are grown. 14 Months ago my husband decided to have an affair,and the woman is 41 years old, got pregant and had the baby. I try so hard to walk away but he keeps began for forgiveness I kick him out and he goes and lives with her then beggs to come back and I let him. This time I told him he needs to walk away from both her and the kid, he agreed that he would. I just don't believe him, they always start by texting, then he got to stop and see her then he doesn't tell me where he is, and the best part is she not worth a hill of beans, no job no money and I'm even prettier than her. I stop telling my family that he moved back in cause it so embarrased what he's doing. And his family talks to the girlfriend and I been his wife for 24 years. We blamed it on mid-life-crises but I don't know anymore. And he said that she looken for someone else I don't believe that either. Please give me some advise I thought maybe a thearpist would help, I don't know?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 With or without him , go on and live the life you want.If you are destined to be united again , so be it. In the meantime , just do your things you like and enjoy your life.
If you don't love him anymore, keep him in cold storage.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 January 2008):
 You think it's embarrassing what he's doing? What about what you're doing? This is an extremely damaged relationship. You both have dependency issues. I can tell because you asked him to walk away from a child that is his. That's dependency, wrong, and something no one should ever ask someone else to do. This child may have been from the affair, but it's still a child, who didn't ask to come, and is still part of two people who have responsabilities for the child, and asking a parent to walk away from those responsabilities is malicious.
Your choice is to work on the marriage or not work on the marriage. You can not make a choice for him to end a relationship with a child. Doing so, I assure you the state will get involved, paternity test, court order for support etc., and this support takes place weather or not he spends any time with the child. I've seen cases where a nonparent interferes with the rights of the natural parent, I believe the largest fine for doing so was $150,000.
Seeing a psychologist may help, but if he's not 100% in it, it won't. Any therapy helps only if the participants are open to changing behaviors and changing destructive behaviors. He needs to know for sure that you're the one he wants to work things out with. If he's still confused, no amount of therapy will help him. You can still go if you're seeking to gain strength and changing some of your behaviors, such as letting guys bounce back and forth.
Take care and good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): i am sorry to tell that ur husband doesnt know what he wants .u gave him alot of chances ,but he let u down each time. i think u shouldnt trust him any more,he hurted u badly,he even made u compare ur self to that girl he is sleeping with. u cant go back to him .even if he is honest this time. u will always think that he is lying.try ur best to get away from this guy.
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