A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,I like this guy and he likes me.Thing is he's a teacher and I'm nearing the end of my 1st year of college. He's also a lot older than me.My questions are:1. Would a relationship with him be legal?We didn't admit our feelings for each other till last October/November. (So I was not at school. I had started college)2. Is there a legal thing on age gaps?I mean, is there a limit as to how big an age gap there can be in a relationship?Thanks in advance for any help guys. :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (26 March 2010):
 If he has been/is currently your teacher, then no, It is totally against the rules for him to engage in any type of relationship with you other than just teacher/pupil.
It would call into question his morality, and the trust that parents have in him to keep their children safe.
Teachers are in a position of power over their students, and this can easily be abused to take advantage of young, innocent an impressionable children.
Legally, you are still a CHILD. No matter how grown up and mature you may like to think you are. Until you hit 18, you are still a minor in the UK.
As teachers, we sign up to something called Duty of Care, which means that we are not allowed to have romantic relationships with our pupils AT ALL. This applies to college teachers and university lecturers as well, so that is talking about people who are well over the age of 18. It is about people taking advantage of those beneath them, with less powerm as it calls into fact problems that could arise, such as the sex for grades scenario. Workplace romances with the boss/employees are frowned on for the same reasons, altho not illegal.
Teachers have lost their jobs over less, so legally, he wouldnt have a leg to stand on. If people found out, parents would lose all trust in him, and he would probably be sacked. They may investigate him for other cases as well, because where there is one, there may be more. People may think this had been going on for longer, and if it couldnt be disproved, then things like the child protection act and the sex offenders register could also be brought into the situation. His whole career could be ruined.
You are only 17. How old is he? I know it sounds harsh, but any older man wouldnt look twice at a 17 year old girl unless it was for the wrong reasons. He is not interested in a relationship with you, he sees you as easy prey.
I am 26, and I would not date a 17 year old, mainly because of attitude and maturity. You are in two different places in life, he is getting on with a career, mortgage, finding a wife? Children etc etc etc. You are just setting out in the world, probably going to university soon? You will be moving away and creating your own life soon. Not with him.
Do you even know if he is single? Men can spin some very clever lines, to get girls attention. Are you sure he isnt married?
At 17 you think you know it all, but you dont, and in 10 years, you will realise how little you knew.
My advice, concentrate on college, go to University, and you will be surrounded by THOUSANDS (yes really) of young, single guys from all over the world. This teacher will pale into the distant memory.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks caring guy.
That really sucks about point 1.
I didn't think that it would be illegal as he is working at a secondary school and I'm at college.
But would it be legal once I reach 18?
Sorry if I'm asking too many questions but I want to make sure I know what's right and wrong with this situation so as to prevent anything bad from happening to him.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 March 2010):
1 - Totally illegal. You're a student, and you're you're under 18. That's completely illegal and he can get fired and jailed.
2 - No legal thing on age gaps so long as you are both of age.
However, in this case it won't happen, because I refer you to point 1. If there is something happening, you have to report it because what he is doing is illegal.
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