A
female
age
26-29,
*issblossom
writes:Hello everyone!I am wondering, if a guy would invest his time for texting almost every hour and everyday only to get sex (my fear)?I don't know him in real life, we met online. He's charming and all that stuff. We've been texting about different topics (including sex) for more than a week now.What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2016): @ Cindycares bang on point! :) Texting is so misunderstood t times. If a guy is bored he will text you all day, especially if things are getting a bit hot.....equally a guy could genuinely care about someone but be very busy with work and prefer quality time in person but less texts! It can be difficult at times to judge because equally a guy who is really into a girl will text her a lot but I think you have to look at the whole picture and be smart. The more types of communication we have ie texts face-time skype etc the more confusion it can cause! I was skyping with a guy twice a week for about 1.5 hours but I still thought hey he just needs an outlet so let's see if he will come and actually see me (long distance). I am wary of these things because at any time the person can switch you off with the flick of the computer switch or mobile phone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2016): See if he will spend time with you and make an effort to see you in real life, without sex but having interesting conversations etc ... then you will know his intentions and don't fall into the trap of text sex etc just based on a promise that he will come and see you - wait til he does it. I got caught in that trap a couple of times but now i'm older and wiser lol! :) See if he will spend an hour or two on skype talking to you (still no sex) regularly about all sorts of things and see how you feel. You can flirt a little bit but don't go too far, that is what I think. I had a situation where I felt a bit objectified as if I was this guy's skype sex toy and it made me feel weird so I stopped it - some people would be cool with it thought - it depends what you want. Just be careful. :)
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 February 2016):
 Yes, they would.
If you add up all the texts you have had, you have how many minutes of actual DECENT conversation? Not a whole lot, I bet.
What you get in texting versus a REAL conversation is "snippets" - only parts.
Hold off on the sex, till you ACTUALLY know him, if you are looking for a relationship, not casual sex.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 February 2016):
 Oh yes they would.
I don't understand why many people think that texting is a special sign of effort and interest. Texting is quick, easy, requires very little attention and concentration. You can do it anytime and if you are just marginally good at multitasking, while doing all other stuff ,with only a small part of your thoughts on the text exchange.
For all you know, he could be texting all day long to other girls too, and keep them all keen,.. and the winner is !, the first who drops her pants.
Of course, it does not HAVE to be this way, I suppose there are tons of nice guys that start their relationships by text.
But the fact that, you have " known " each other less than a week, and , without even ever having seen you, sex has already been introduced as a subject of discussion:.. uhm. That would make ME perk my ears up.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (5 February 2016):
 "Should I ask him what he's looking for? Would that help in any means?"
Asking him what he is looking for will not get you an answer that you should necessarily believe. Online romance is "crippled" by the fact that you get not to evaluate his body language when he answers, that you can't evaluate the tone of his voice... In fact, bunch of studies show that the online persona does not often match the real one. In some cases, these turn downright dangerous.
So, if this guy is physically absent, what sort of a romantic future is there? I see none. Sure, as a woman, you love the attention that you are getting, but ultimately, if you look down the line and you see no physical future, there is absolutely no reason for you to continue any contact.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 February 2016):
 The problem with texting back and forth is you really don't know the "real" him. It is incredibly easy to make up a story via texting. They are, after all, just words on the screen and you can't see the subtle body and facial that give his true motivations away.
What you are asking us is to figure out what this guy wants based upon a 100 word question.
It sounds like you have some sort of connection but until you really meet face-to-face, it is only a cyber relationship. And to be honest that doesn't amount to much.
If you feel this guy is a match, then suggest meeting up and doing an activity that you both enjoy. Make it so that you'll be in a safe area and go from there. Through the actual physical act of "dating" you'll soon discover his true motivations and ultimately his true feelings for you.
Eddie
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 February 2016):
 Yes it is possible that he only wants sex. You have only been talking for over a week now and already talk has turned sexual. This would put me off, as I would rather get to know someone face to face before talking sexual with them.
If you are worried he only wants sex, well then just be cautious. Try meeting him, seeing how things go, but be clear to him that you respect yourself and that you are not going to be sexual with him until you are ready.
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A
male
reader, ColderThanEver  +, writes (4 February 2016):
Unfortunately, yes. He absolutely would. Speaking from a guy's point of view, I have been in this situation before myself. I've messaged girls for a long period of time, we would talk about all sorts of different topics, from sex to what our plans are for the future. The thing about it is I enjoyed doing it, I enjoyed talking to someone about all of these things but in the back of my mind I was so insistent that I did not want anything serious with anyone. It's crazy but you can't always explain it without coming across as though you are just playing that person. I think what you need to do is plan out a long message to this guy. Ask him where he stands regarding you both, tell him to be honest with you about where he see's it going and go from there. He may come across as sincere and meaningful but it is up to you to trust his words and decide for yourself based on what his answers are if he really is being as sincere as you'd hope. Good luck to you, girl.
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A
female
reader, missblossom +, writes (4 February 2016):
missblossom is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShould I ask him what he's looking for? Would that help in any means?
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (4 February 2016):
Yes, it is possible. In fact, the reason most men are on social apps is sex, even among the so-called "dating" sites. I cannot speculate what his motives are but statistics point that sex is the probable motive. And it's understandable because phone is something we all carry, something that gives you instant communication that is costless, so like me who is writing this on the phone, this guy could immediately romance anyone. In fact, I know someone who used Whisper app on several occasions to hook up, obviously girl thought he sought a relationship.
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A
female
reader, kikicupid +, writes (4 February 2016):
 Hey there - it's a tricky one. I used to think that if a guy puts all this effort being in contact it was more than sex and he was properly interested, but now im not sure. It seems like people text so easily nowadays and even have many different people on the go. I heard someone say once "people can text on the loo!" and its true!! :(
It could be worth texting more and getting to know each other a bit more and then eventually if u decide to meet (always in public plz!) then ull see how things are then. I guess also if you don't give him the opportunity to sleep with u soon then ull know soon enough whether he wants just sex or more. Good luck!
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