A
female
age
41-50,
*uphoric29
writes:My heart is broken. 4 months ago the man I thought to be the love of my life broke up with me due to several reasons (not important for the topic). I'm still in love somehow, I miss him, but I know 100% it's not possible to get him back. Now I met a new man, he chatted me up on the way to work. He's really nice and funny and we get along well. I feel that my heart is not ready to fall in love with someone new and even if it was, he might not be the one. We are quite different personalities and would probably annoy each other in the long run. BUT I've been thinking that maybe he and I could just have some fun together? Do you have experience with a scenario like this and would you recommend it? The "new" guy has been single for 3 years, and from what he's been telling me he's a guy that can enjoy life, but not a big player.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29 +, writes (12 March 2015):
Euphoric29 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear agony aunts,
Thanks a lot for your advice!
To give you an update, I'm still on the fence about what to do. Because I'm worried the guy may already be in love with me and I honestly don't want to hurt him.
And to the male poster.. yes, I'm very heartbroken. But I'm also angry with my ex. I was totally in love and he left despite my best efforts, and now I feel like no, I don't want to punish myself by staying lonely and missing my new chances.
It's possible that this also won't work for me, though. But I wish it does.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (10 March 2015):
 Sorry to hear about the breakup.
If you enjoy his company and want to spend time with him, then why not do just that?
Assuming you are a safe and sane and sensible woman then you are more than capable of making good choices.
I hope it all works out for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2015): The time when my GF dumped me the last thing on my mind was meaningless sex with another woman. In fact, I was so heart broken that I did not even want to see any females let alone cuddle or do one. Then again, I'm just a guy. Girls maybe different.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2015): YES. A big, fat YES.
As long as you don't drag his heart in it (make things very clear beforehand).
Have FUN!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 March 2015):
 I did have an FWB after a break up for the exact same reason, to get over my ex. During the day I would get excited about meeting him, curious about what he's like then moments later I would be sad. There was one time I was having sex and I had to hold back tears, thinking about my ex.
Meeting someone new could give you the confidence that you are still sexy, and there's plenty of fish out there. As for getting over your ex only time would do.
Overall, it helped somehow but at first your emotions would be raw, all over the place. I can't recommend or discourage because each individual is different. If it's something compelling you would do it without question. It is my personality to be adventurous and try something new to jump start my life so that's why I did it. It's never degrading, disrespectful or demoralizing. I look at short term people as those that give you temporary support. Not everyone has to walk a long path with you in life. Sometimes moments can be short but still inspiring when you look back.
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