A
male
age
30-35,
*ammo
writes:My girlfriend and I are getting to the stage where we are ready for intercourse but I am worried as when I tried to finger her before, as soon as I entered her even slightly she was lots of pain. If my finger hurts her when its not even going in, whats my penis going to be like? oh and she is a virgin
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female
reader, love-him +, writes (10 July 2007):
 Hi babe, maybe she isnt lubricated enough, or maybe she isnt relaxed enough. If you fingering her, is hurting her, then you having sex with her, probly will hurt also, maybe talk to her, make sure you are both OK, with it, and then try again, maybe wet your finger so that it is wet around her hole? That could help? or maybe when she is alone, she could try to insert her own finger, and maybe when she has a period, try and use the tampons which you push into you, with the aplicator for help. Mail me if you would like to talk x x
A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (10 July 2007):
Hi Sammo,
Although it seems unlikely that there your girlfriend has a physical problem, you never know. Can she insert a finger herself without pain? Do tampons go in OK? If not, then she should see a doctor for a check up. If it’s only you causing the pain, then the problem is psychological. I can think of two possibilities. The most likely is that she is terrified that she will feel a lot of pain on intercourse, and has become extremely tense about it. This can cause her muscles to tense up extremely tightly. They can go almost rigid, and this would cause severe pain when you tried to insert anything at all. It is a psychological condition with a name, which I can’t remember, and which can be treated successfully with counselling if necessary. Extreme patience, and gentleness should work wonders. But if she feels that no amount of patience will help her, you might want to seek some professional help. One of you could ask your doctor about this. The other thought that I have is, does she really want to do this? Might she have some moral reasons for feeling guilty about it? Or might she have some unpleasant experience in her past which has made her afraid? You need to be sure that she isn’t just doing this to please you. You mustn’t try to progress any further than you have done without dealing with this problem. Even if she wants to try intercourse, trying to force herself to do it when in pain, would make the problem much worse.
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A
female
reader, Straight Up +, writes (10 July 2007):
 well to honest with you it probably is going to hurt her. you have to try and understand that females bodies are completely different from males.
the only thing i can tell you to do is go VERY slow ,try and make her relax and keep on reasuring her as she has never experienced this kind of thing before
be gentle as well as this can help the situation
goodluck x x x
if you need more advice send me an email
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