A
male
age
41-50,
*hanus
writes: I really like a certain young lady, who i came across on the internet, she has said that she really likes me as i have to her.I have not yet met her in "real life" however we regularly speak on the phone, i feel a bit stupid being so concerned about weither a girl i have never met likes me, but i have become very fond of her nonetheless.The other day i was rather emotional, as i get this time of year as i question my life and i also miss my brother who died some years back, i thought i had messed it up but we are still speaking. I have told her that im scared of being hurt she feels the same way. I know that this is perhaps making me sound clingy/desperate, truth be told i am a very sensitive young man who does not think much of myself.Anyway the question i would like to ask is where to go from here should i back off and let her come to me? as im feeling that she is going cold on me, i am also in a wheelchair i told her about this some days ago which she says does not bother her but a couple of times since then she has appeared distant or not interested in me, please advise i am really confused and dont know what to do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): well thanks for the thoughts/input you guys are both very right tbh helped me come to a decision on the matter, i think this has all come about because i didnt give myself enough time to adjust to not being with my girlfriend of 3 years anymore so everything seemed very intense and even the slightest bit of affection was great.
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (15 December 2007):
I'm with Richard. There's no harm in maintaining contact, just try not to get too many expectations, because as he said, she may only be looking for friendship. If conversation remains fun and interesting, perhaps you have a chance. Failing that, I think a decent friendship is nearly secured.
I think Richard put it better than I could, so I would say; take his advice.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (14 December 2007):
H Shanus. I liked your comment about feeling a bit stupid over someone you have never met. It is a strange concept for us to understand, but it happens so much to so many people all the time. I keep meaning to see if any psychologists have done any research into this.
Regarding your young lady. Keep contacting her is the answer. People just like the friendship they get from online contact, maybe that is all she is looking for. Maybe you have surprised her about your wheelchair. But I would say keep contacting her, if you don't mind risking getting a little hurt.
Regarding your feelings, I only know of one way not to be hurt, and that is to not let yourself get attached in the first place. One can try to be cautious, to minimise the possibility of being hurt, but it's not possible to prevent it.
Good luck
Richard
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