A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I recently tried performing oral sex on a new guy I'm seeing. Having never been with a guy that takes TOO LONG to orgasm, I'm worried that he's not enjoying it. Eventually he ends up climaxing, but it seems to me like he's forcing it. I know this may seem like a very naive question, but is it possible for a guy to force himself to ejaculate?
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ejaculate, oral sex, orgasm Reply to this Question
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (28 April 2009):
I don't know about "forcing" it to happen, but sometimes I have to work pretty hard to make it happen.
Your B/F may be like me: I just don't respond to oral sex with a climax. I know that puts me in a minority, but I think it's a significant minority (something like 5% - 10% of guys, as I recall). Oral sex feels good - and it's a very intimate, trusting thing, to receive from a girl - but it's just not something that easily triggers an orgasm from me.
And yes, if you're rather new to each other there is some element of "new partner anxiety" as well as the age-old question, "Does she want it in her mouth?". (My personal preference: I don't care if you swallow, or discretely spit but PLEASE stay on until I finish! And, if the mood is right, one of the hottest, most intimate things imaginable is to kiss me right afterwards.)
If your guy is truly not enjoying it he'll let you know in some way. Don't get stressed about it. Peoples' sexual responses and preferences vary widely, and this may be part of what makes him, uniquely HIM.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (28 April 2009):
 It is quite possibly just nerves and newness, as "Ginalolabridga" suggests. As a man, I have occasionally been unsure about a new girlfriend's expectations when she begins performing oral. And now, as a much older man who has experienced thousands (most with a former wife or longtime girlfriends), I can still find it hard to first release with a new woman. In my case, the solution is usually to simply ask if she wants me to ejaculate for her.
But also as an older man, I am experienced at withholding. The enjoyment is so great for a good long time, but when a man knows that his woman has already been satisfied, and will happily enjoy his ejaculation, then it becomes fairly easy to climax almost at will.
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A
female
reader, say_anything  +, writes (27 April 2009):
 i don't think it's possible for anyone to force themselves to orgasm. i mean, you can help yourself by relaxing and things like that but i think forcing it would be counter-productive.perhaps this guy just takes a while to come, so people do, and some acts make people come faster than others - this does not mean he isn't enjoying what you're doing. try asking him what sort of things he likes best when you perform oral on him, then maybe if you're reassured about what his favourite things are you might be able to make him come much faster. although, i'm inclined to think if he's coming, even if it takes a little while, you can't be doing anything too far off the mark ;) also people can enjoy sexual stimulation very much without coming every time, so don't feel down on yourself.best wishes.
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